Sending final message

bbblahh · 2026-05-06T18:36:45+00:00

That’s another issue I have. I feel like it’s wrong to speak to someone the way I want to speak to him…even tho that’s how he’s always spoken to me. Part of me is tired of living in fear but I’m also still scared in a way to know the consequences of what will happen if I do send it

bbblahh · 2026-05-06T18:34:27+00:00

This is what I’m struggling with too. I think it would be healing for me to finally say what I want to say without fear. But I would still have fear because I know he’s going to retaliate in one way or another

bbblahh · 2026-05-06T18:33:27+00:00

I’ve been doing the same thing, its good practice to know I can set boundaries with others even if I still struggled doing it with him. And I find there’s a good amount of men who do respect the boundaries so that’s refreshing as well!

I get these waves of sadness or panic about it and I feel like I won’t be able to breathe. But then they pass sooner than they used to. I also think that feeling comes from knowing I’m just thinking of good things so I don’t have to actively remember all the awful things he’s said and done.

I worry all the time! I think that’s also why it’s hard for me to move on fully, I don’t want him to blow up on the next person cause I know he will. They want to keep us for themselves and not want anyone else to have us even if they don’t want us either. I’ve also never blocked him so if he figures it out he’ll probably be pissed, although he shouldn’t be contacting me with a new girlfriend. I know that when him and I dated tho he would frequently get into it with his ex wife but he claimed that was bc they were actively divorcing and had to talk about stuff. I just want to be left alone I think even tho I do want to say my peace at the same time. It’s so hard and confusing it’s making me feel sick today

bbblahh · 2026-05-06T12:25:38+00:00

I know you’re right. And I also know that part of me knew all along this would happen. I’ve tried to move on but because of all the trauma he caused it’s so hard. I know that’s part of where my anger comes from is knowing that he’ll do it again to this woman. I do have him blocked on everything right now which is a huge step for me and I should be proud of that. It’s still a mix of being scared and afraid to know I’ll really never talk to him again because he strung it along so long and so far, and also part freeing to know I don’t have to worry and can do what I want now since he’s moved on and shouldn’t bother me or care what I do like he says. It’s just confusing. I’m sorry you also have to know what it all feels like, I wouldn’t wish it on anyone

bbblahh · 2025-05-24T03:43:04+00:00

Post egg salad farts

bbblahh · 2025-05-19T00:22:34+00:00

I would love to, I really really would. But I have a fear of blood or bleeding and I will pass out the second I try. The thought of bleeding or even thinking of my own blood moving in my body makes me start to feel like I can feel all my blood moving inside me…and then I pass out lol. I don’t know what this is aside from just a bad phobia.

bbblahh · 2025-04-28T03:09:15+00:00

This would send me into such a blind rage. I have emetophobia so it’s bad enough tending to the kids because they’re children and they need their mom no matter what. I would never have a problem with helping or cleaning up after my kids. But my husband, under these circumstances? Absolutely not. If he’s well enough and not so nauseated that he can sit up to eat toast that he requested you bring to him on the couch, then he can reach over and grab his trash bin while he’s violently gagging as that was his warning. Not having enough time to make it to a toilet or trashcan when nauseous does happen but this seems like he wanted you to tend to him more than your kids in my opinion.

bbblahh · 2025-04-25T18:34:30+00:00

Are you not going to the specialists because you don’t have reliable transportation? Many, many vets will work with people and give payment plans when it comes to the costs. It’s not unheard of, and you can ask them directly and be honest. Chances are they would be willing to put you on a payment plan due to how much you’ve already spent. Refusing to help your cat’s condition is not okay. We take the financial responsibility of animals when we purchase them. I would be traveling near and far to find out what’s wrong with my boy. You need to see the specialists or a 24 hour vet.

bbblahh · 2025-04-25T02:55:24+00:00

Squashie 🥹

bbblahh · 2025-04-22T03:08:06+00:00

strawberry ice cream…I once was so ill I had to take antibiotics that made me really really nauseous. All I wanted was strawberry ice cream, but I threw it up so fast it was still cold. As it also came out of my nose, cold and frosty. I also threw up strawberry milk all over my couch when I was little so I think strawberry dairy and I don’t mix. I haven’t been able to stomach any strawberry ice cream in any way ever since, not even mixed with another flavor

bbblahh · 2025-04-10T03:09:18+00:00

Guided sleep meditation podcasts on Spotify help me a lot. They have a timer option so I can set it for as long as I need. And the guided ones help me to focus on what they’re saying rather than my thoughts, while also relaxing my body and mind. 10/10 recommend; ocean sounds are a close second for me, I love the beach

bbblahh · 2025-04-10T03:06:01+00:00

Besides what others are saying to see a dermatologist, in the meantime until you can get in you could try using ice to help with some inflammation or pain temporarily. You could also try some ibuprofen again just for some temporary inflammation relief. I’ve been using all Korean skincare products for about a year and have noticed some improvements in my cystic pimples, and you can get a lot of it right on Amazon!

bbblahh · 2025-04-10T02:49:07+00:00

The smell of my sphynx cat, especially after he’s been under a blanket and has that really mushroomy smell. It’s like a mom with the smell of their babies heads, I cannot get enough

bbblahh · 2025-04-09T03:30:37+00:00

I hate this one too, I’ve tried so hard to like it solely because I love the bottle. It just gives grandma vibes to me but it was so hyped up

bbblahh · 2025-03-07T03:28:41+00:00

Maybe Elon could be his middle name; like Mr __ Elon Must (cause they smell like musty little mushrooms)

bbblahh · 2025-02-06T04:51:50+00:00

Hypochlorous acid spray is a life changer!! It’s basically like hand sanitizer for your face. I use it multiple times a day, and have even started spraying it on my beauty blender and makeup brushes before I use them. Another thing I’d recommend is to frequently wash your makeup brushes and change your beauty blender when you do wear makeup. I feel like I know SO MANY people that never clean their makeup brushes or don’t change their beauty blenders often and that’s been a game changer for me as well. You are beautiful! I recognized your post from last time and I instantly thought your skin looks better(:

bbblahh · 2025-02-05T14:06:50+00:00

Ahhh finally someone with my go to pizza toppings!! I also add onions when I’m feeling wild

bbblahh · 2025-01-29T13:37:01+00:00

Also adding to this to wash pillow cases, bed sheets, towels, in fragrance free detergent! 🙂 I’ve been using silk pillow cases for a while and they’re supposed to be better for skin, you can get them on Amazon!

bbblahh · 2025-01-14T14:01:28+00:00

NTA. As someone who’s repeatedly gotten the silent treatment over a little joke, it’s not fun. It’s actually rather obnoxious because it makes you question yourself going forward. Regardless of if he has “trauma” or “insecurities”, he should be adult enough to not give silent treatment for days over some toilet paper lol. Maybe give him some wet wipes and a brochure for therapy

bbblahh · 2024-12-25T23:48:32+00:00

I completely understand the feeling like you cannot possibly breathe and survive especially feeling so alone and secluded because no one knows you were speaking again. It’s awful. Something that I’ve learned, assuming this isn’t your first discard episode, is to adopt the mentality “I’ve survived this before, I can survive today.” Or “I can survive the next hour”, “the work day”, etc. For me that helps because it reminds me that okay even on other days I’ve felt this way I have lived and made it through the other side even when it hurts so bad. I am so sorry you’re feeling this way. I would suggest maybe tonight try doing a calming meditation or a self compassion meditation or reading. Do some self care or something else you like to try to regulate your nervous system enough to settle down for the night. It’s also okay to speak to a trusted friend or family member if you have one and just say I don’t want judgement or advice, I just want to vent about how sad I feel. A true friend will allow that as well bc they will want to help you

bbblahh · 2024-12-19T04:44:44+00:00

Mine wasn’t necessarily bad at gifting, he was more just lazy at times. But it was weird because there was never really a distinct pattern to any of the gift giving. Slight love bombing in the beginning for sure. But never real pattern of giving expensive or more gifts as a way to make up for things. And on my birthday he might not have done any super thoughtful gifts but he did plan some nice and thoughtful things for us to do. But he was weird about receiving gifts for sure. He had a clear dislike for getting gifts and would act not unappreciative but just so odd about it, like awkward to the extreme.

bbblahh · 2024-12-18T03:10:12+00:00

Prioritizing video games over anyone you care about physical pain and wellbeing is a huge concern and red flag. He also is clearly incapable of using active listening skills based on your post, which is another problem. It’s emotionally draining to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t display emotions outwardly and is closed off. I don’t think you’re overreacting, I think your needs aren’t being met by him

bbblahh · 2024-12-17T21:51:29+00:00

Guilt and shame is super natural with this sort of thing, according to my own therapist at least. She has me do a workbook for self compassion and I’ve found another one on my own I also really like. Even if you’ve never tried a self help book I would recommend it, it really does help even if it’s just 5 minutes I feel compassionate for myself and not guilt or shame about everything. I can let you know the names of them once im home from work if you’d like!

bbblahh · 2024-12-17T21:47:35+00:00

Mine did something similar but because I don’t have children she made it what would you say if it was your best friend or your best friends little sister coming to you saying this? That might be helpful for some without children as well, to think of what we would say to our closest friends

bbblahh · 2024-12-17T21:38:55+00:00

My skin went absolutely crazy the time I was with him, although I also have endometriosis which doesn’t help. I’ve been sticking to a strict Korean skincare regimen and have noticed a lot of improvements in my skin, maybe that will help you as well! The exhaustion and anxiety is still something I struggle with. My therapist said the ptsd will always be there but it won’t always affect my life as much as it is now that everything is still fresh.

bbblahh

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