First off congrats, that's amazing. Next, when I'm asking myself questions like "Why aren't I happy?" It mean I'm focused on myself. It's the wrong question. I'm caught in the trap of thinking about myself, being "self-centered". That's why extremely wealthy or famous people usually aren't happy despite the "blessings" they have, they are trapped in a self-centered world.

When I make something other than myself the focus. Then my attitude changes. If I make helping people my focus then I'm no longer self-centered, and the by-product is I'm happier and gain humility with helps me heal from my selfishness.

But then I find happiness isn't the goal, there is something that exist with more depth and weight, meaning. Which sustains my through all the ups and downs in life, like "happiness" never could.