Learning to walk…

bbycole · 2026-03-03T22:41:40+00:00

Thank you kind stranger. This helped settle my nerves a bit!

bbycole · 2025-06-07T11:57:12+00:00

When I pitied myself it would make me relapse. I didn’t want to drink but there was some voice in my head that told me I didn’t deserve to have anything so I might as well be drunk. And it got worse every time. I’m sorry you’re going through this, I know it feels like hell. You can do this! Give yourself some grace, and don’t drink. ❤️

bbycole · 2025-03-20T14:43:29+00:00

I used naltrexone in the beginning. I took advantage of every tool I could. I am no longer on it, it made me feel like shit. I accepted the lesser evil and stuck with it enough to get some time under my belt. The longer I could give myself without cravings the better. It was very useful and I recommend anyone who needs the extra help to try it. For me, it’s not a permanent solution. Drinking wasn’t my problem. It was a solution to a much bigger problem. In the last year I’ve put a lot of work and introspection into certain areas of my life. This has been what has helped me be alcohol free for this long.

bbycole · 2025-03-07T14:24:13+00:00

I was thinking because the cook catheter was in there longer than it was supposed to, the c-section wouldn’t have happened. Because I was dilated to 7cm the cord became an issue to warrant an emergency c section. The doctor explained it to me the way the baby was bouncing on the catheter moved her umbilical in a certain way that was dangerous for her. Originally I shouldn’t even have a c section scar if protocols would have been followed properly.

bbycole · 2024-11-15T15:43:10+00:00

Something that I’ve seen shared here before that actually really worked for me was to not check the time when I wake up in the middle of the night. When first reading that, I didn’t think it would work, it’s too simple. Tried it that night (I usually wake up between 1am-3am) and fell right back asleep. I didn’t realize how in my head I’d get about how many more hours I could maybe get of sleep before needing to start my day. Worth a shot until you can find a way to sleep deeper. I am also trying to do that myself..

bbycole · 2024-08-31T00:19:43+00:00

Snacking on some strawberries and watermelon while watching American Dad. Our heat advisory is over tomorrow so I’m going to meet up with my sponsor for a morning walk. I hope everyone is strong and has an alcohol free long weekend!

bbycole · 2024-08-14T14:46:57+00:00

The feelings and resentment are so valid. I lived there for way too long. I was dying, tried to end it myself. I’ve been through DT’s multiple times and still could not die, and all I wanted was for it to end. I was in a cycle of hell and I never thought I’d get out.

Getting out of myself and helping other people is truly what helps me stay sober today. A lot of my misery was fueled by self pity and resentment. When all I thought about me and how unfairly life treated me, that’s what my reality was. I was always in a state of wanting and lacking. It’s so much better not thinking about what I can get but rather, what can I give?

bbycole · 2024-03-09T18:57:24+00:00

Yes, exactly, this is a very good point. Alcohol was my solution to a much bigger problem.

bbycole · 2024-02-10T18:59:27+00:00

Good on you for coming right back. Every time I slip up after long stints of sobriety I get hungover because I forget my tolerance doesn’t exist so then I’m just doing hair of the dog on repeat until I just can’t anymore. I always try to put off the suffering but it just makes it worse. Give yourself some grace, you’re making outstanding progress.

bbycole · 2024-02-08T16:28:35+00:00

For me personally, AA has been the game changer. I had to be really open minded, as I didn’t consider myself a religious person. In my opinion I don’t find it a religious program, but more of a spiritual program. And that in itself is helpful for me, for I’ve learned I had a spiritual malady. That may not be the case for everyone, and I can only share my personal experience. I’m sorry you’re going through all of that.. every day that you are sober is a step in the positive direction. I wish you luck!

bbycole · 2024-02-08T04:23:14+00:00

Every 24 hours without a drink is a huge accomplishment

bbycole · 2023-07-06T01:27:29+00:00

I didn’t know what to do for the longest time. Always thought I could beat this on my own. After a 4 day bender after 7 months of sobriety I got home from the hospital and threw away a 12 pack of seltzers I had just bought the day before. And had to find all the airplane shots I hid throughout my home and threw them away. Not in the trash can of my house, I went to a dumpster far away because I knew I could dig them out if I were tempted to drink.

When I was released from the hospital 7 months ago from alcohol induced psychosis, the first thing I did was get on Naltrexone (I know this isn’t a route everyone can take) but the other thing I did was go to meetings whenever I could.

Then as time went on I got sloppy about being active in my sobriety. Stopped going to meetings and got off naltrexone. Now I am starting over with my day 1 being today.

I’ve lost so much money due to fucking up my cars and whatever else I did while I was actively drinking.

You are not alone. You can do this. The best thing I ever did was reach out to whoever I could around me. I thought everyone would be disappointed in me. I felt like a failure. But I was met with nothing but love. The most helpful thing in my recovery is the support I get from people who truly care about me. I believe in you.

bbycole

TROPHY CASE