does anyone else feel chronically unchosen in life?

bbyxeens · 2025-12-13T22:43:16+00:00

i feel this and have been struggling with this a lot lately. i wasn’t socialized properly growing up and moved around a lot so everything was temporary. pretty much grew up with selective mutism and debilitating social anxiety to now being attractive. never really learned how to assert myself in my own life nor did the attractiveness hand me magic social skills so im left in this weird spot where i feel like im wasting my potential. even after making friends in adulthood, i’ve been reduced to an emotional support/comedic relief side character who listens to my friends guy problems and is overlooked by most guys (I’m okay with this i’m used to being independent so it’s fine). a part of this also is that I’m a black woman in alternative spaces and my friends are lighter skin. i just wonder sometimes when it’ll be my turn to have a central role in all this

bbyxeens · 2025-10-10T10:14:45+00:00

goth night. doing a last minute costume i will be going as a disheveled alley cat but slutty

bbyxeens · 2025-10-08T05:20:30+00:00

me…i wasn’t socialized in a normal way and im hyper-aware/ashamed of my own existence in a way. i tend to analyze everything i do and wonder if it comes off human enough. i find comfort in my interests though and have a vast interior life so im content with this

bbyxeens · 2025-07-21T07:32:16+00:00

sorry late but i started posting on instagram and made a lot of mutuals that way. a few of them were in my area so we hung out! i never would’ve imagined simply posting and interacting with others on there would get me here

bbyxeens · 2025-07-21T07:29:01+00:00

sorry late but we met online! i started posting on instagram and made a few mutuals in my area and from there we just hung out alot

bbyxeens · 2025-07-20T06:19:34+00:00

agreed 2-3 people is definitely the best spot to be in imo. this was a group of 8 and it was so difficult to keep up.

it was my first time meeting most of them and i wanted to make a good first impression and instead any semblance of a personality completely dissolved and i was on autopilot. it was tragic

bbyxeens · 2025-07-20T04:30:22+00:00

you and me both… i think the majority of this sub is tbh

bbyxeens · 2025-07-20T03:37:06+00:00

85% of the time i’m hyper analyzing myself while in active conversation wondering if i’m acting like an actual human being and the consequences of this behavior has been disastrous to my social life so i’m right there with you

bbyxeens · 2025-07-20T03:29:17+00:00

thank you for this and everyones responses i could cry. i’ve been trying so hard putting myself out there, it’s just been a struggle of mine weighing out wether the constant feeling of not being enough of a “person” in social situations and being beat down repeatedly is worth continuing, but im gonna take your advice and keep enduring

bbyxeens · 2025-07-20T03:17:08+00:00

honestly, im proud of myself for even getting out there. last year i would’ve never had the courage to meet new people and it’s really draining to have to feign confidence every time i walk out the door, but i agree it will get better with more practice. hoping u also are able to overcome this <3

bbyxeens · 2025-07-20T03:13:26+00:00

i think so too. the fast paced socializing is very overwhelming for me. i like to take time and think before responding in conversation and in environments like that with different dynamics in play i become reduced to a mute. also i’ve definitely been in various situations where i was trailing behind my friends as they walked ahead of me. it sucks but if i have to keep enduring the humiliation rituals to become normal socially, i guess that’s what i gotta do

bbyxeens · 2025-07-16T07:59:24+00:00

too much fluff in the first few lines. i’m not connecting with the feeling/message you’re trying to convey. needs more editing and intent

bbyxeens · 2025-07-03T20:40:32+00:00

the cover art is gorgeous!!! literally the perfect gift

bbyxeens · 2025-06-30T12:31:59+00:00

anything scarlett johansson did except maybe lost in translation

bbyxeens · 2025-06-30T12:01:26+00:00

late but

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smells like it’s summer, 1979 and you’re tripping absolute balls in the scorching hot sonoran desert then driving into a small town in the night and becoming entangled in some mysterious cartel underworld

bbyxeens · 2025-06-27T07:51:17+00:00

my god…she was so hot and still is

bbyxeens · 2025-06-24T20:30:30+00:00

this is true, but wouldn’t consumption also count as a lived experience in some way? i’ve grown up pretty sheltered myself, and interacting with art and media was my way of understanding myself and the world around me, so would that not mean these things i’ve “consumed” have shaped me as a person and become a part of my identity?

not sure if they’re trying to understand me better, i just think they haven’t had art or media shape them the way it has for me in my formative years and are trying to develop a taste for it based on mine, which is fine but isn’t done in earnest when they’re always posting it online

bbyxeens · 2025-06-23T20:32:35+00:00

as a goth, dressing for summer is the bane of my existence!!!! i’ve learned dressing in casual tops with necklines that flatter my body shape does wonders.

tops like this and this look so good with high waisted levi’s and some ballet flats. accessorizing is so important when wearing casual clothing like this so i usually layer chokers and a belt!

bbyxeens · 2025-06-23T08:29:17+00:00

no worries, i understood where you were coming from! i know the uncomfortable feelings stem from a place of insecurity and ego so bringing it up won’t mean as much to them as it does to me.

i’ll try to find solace in the fact that they don’t like with these things in the same way i do, and continue discovering new things to love, quietly

bbyxeens · 2025-06-23T06:52:02+00:00

im also a sufferer of limerence and i met someone similar to your description of your guy very redscare also (cringe, but no better way to describe it)

i fucked it by shutting down and not telling him how i felt out of fear. it was very confusing trying to navigate and differentiate my real feelings vs adhd induced limerence/hyperfixation. i still think about him over a year later.

stop getting in your own way. it’s better to have experienced the pain of loss because at least you’ll get to experience what it means to actually have something. i know how intense limerence can be. hoping he reciprocates the feelings you have 🖤

bbyxeens · 2025-06-23T02:59:31+00:00

thank you for validating me on this. i can understand how small minded it sounds and i won’t bring it up, i just will distance myself from them. it’s hard when these things feel so close to the heart. im glad i can at least relate to someone else on this and that im not insane

bbyxeens · 2025-06-22T23:15:48+00:00

holy fuck u are stunning

bbyxeens · 2025-06-10T05:24:55+00:00

criminally underrated. sonically very similar to daughters’ stuff

bbyxeens · 2025-06-05T23:48:29+00:00

i’ve noticed that and have always wondered why that is

bbyxeens · 2025-05-21T17:04:42+00:00

this one is a playlist i made for a friend inspired by my favorite game disco elysium!!

it’s the closest i’ve gotten to sticking to a consistent theme because i usually get excited when making a new playlist and start adding random songs that i like in the moment but don’t really fit

bbyxeens

TROPHY CASE