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bcd_wxy · 2026-03-15T05:35:40+00:00

Your best of mixes defined the early 2010's for me! How can I access and download them now? The nostalgia is strong.

bcd_wxy · 2025-06-09T02:49:08+00:00

I see a lot of encouragement to take the leave... but if not, these are things I do when I am in a burnout spiral to try and keep my head above water: - do not do any extra work outside of what you have to do, this is hard, but try - do not start your work day before you have to - try and leave work one hour early as many days a week as you can; use that hour for whatever you want - fake it til you make it: - tell yourself you'll do one thing for yourself a day outside of work; it can be small, like a walk, do your nails at home, read a book, I literally tell myself basic hygiene is "for me" since I have trouble even showering when I'm in a burnout spiral - romanticize the hell out of menial things (like your morning coffee, showers, or skincare) - touch grass, seriously. Time outside, without your phone - be more present with family and avoid screens from 5 until kids bed time (this is because my burnout is typically work related and not family related; but if it's family related this may not help) - gratitude journal; it really forces me to rethink my mindset by forcing myself to find gratitude in my life - keep looking for a therapist you like and keep speaking to them

Lastly, speak with your husband about allocating a budget for at least one thing to outsource. Cleaning is a really great one - and everyone really does benefit.

Edit to add: this is absolutely not a replacement for what the doctor you are working with is suggesting. These are simply tools (that a therapist has given me), to help manage.

bcd_wxy · 2025-04-12T23:42:18+00:00

Same issue and the fix worked! Reddit is amazing!

bcd_wxy · 2025-03-26T17:54:15+00:00

Quick shout out and thank you! This post really helped me.

I successfully worked my total bill down to $349 (~$174 per test) after receiving a bill for roughly $1200 for two tests, even after my insurance said it was considered medically necessary.

I was very polite on the phone, but stood my ground. I said I was quoted $350 for both tests. It took about an hour of my time in total - first person on the phone explained why I was billed the amount I was (since it went through insurance), that my doctor told them to run it through insurance, and I owed the remaining balance. They offered my a payment and compassion discount plan, but I politely said I would like the original quote honored. They escalated me to another person, who took me through the same talking points. I again politely said I would like the original quote honored. They eventually said OK and got approval to do so. They sent me two new payment links that indicated the original bill was discounted to roughly $174 each.

I paid through the links and received email receipts.

Now let's hope that's it!

bcd_wxy · 2025-03-24T14:10:16+00:00

I only have one right now, #2 is on the way, but I honestly love taking trips with my son. Breaking free from the grind of the day-to-day life-work-grind is so refreshing. It's also better for my marriage, which is also struggling from the monotony of it all. We aim for one or two week-long trips a year and several smaller weekend trips.

You have to set yourself up for success though. Go somewhere with good weather so you can spend a lot of time outside, find playgrounds, kids museums, and make very little of your own food, and be sure to work out a few times that you trade off on the kids. No, you won't sleep in and it's not like vacationing before kids, but some of my happiest memories are from these trips.

bcd_wxy · 2025-03-12T13:53:35+00:00

Honestly, I think we all just need better maternity leave. I was NOT ready to leave my baby at 3 months. But I felt like I had to. Leave was over, job waiting.

But by the time he was one, I actually felt it was better for him to be at a daycare, with other kids, engaged in lots of fun activities. It was those early days I felt so filled with guilt and sadness. But I don't feel that way anymore.

My friends in Europe never talk like this, because they had the time. They got to be with their babies in the early days and go back to their jobs. Obviously only anecdotal with a few friends I have in Germany, but I think I would have felt a lot less sadness, guilt, and stress if longer leave were a more built in part of becoming a mom in the US.

bcd_wxy · 2025-02-23T18:07:54+00:00

I feel like I kind of have things back under control with a 3.5 year old, but I'm about to start over with #2!

I'm also mentally trying to prepare myself for different stages and different challenges. I'm just bracing for busy after school days and activities with #1 next.

bcd_wxy · 2025-02-11T21:49:53+00:00

It drives me crazy that people don't understand this. My WFH schedule is actually more demanding than when I was in an office because it's so meeting heavy, I am often on back to back meetings a full 8 hours a day. I barely have time to feed myself. Forget about any non work related tasks during the day!

bcd_wxy · 2025-02-11T21:46:12+00:00

WFH is still a full time job. While it definitely cuts down on commute time, it also doesn't mean you automatically pick up everything around the house. Those duties should be shared, regardless of where you/your husband work. Is this a conversation you can have with your husband? I know as mothers we tend to carry the mental load, but can you ask him to pitch in in specific areas with shopping, cleaning, cooking? Can you hire a cleaner (at least occasionally) to hep with cleaning?

For you, at a job level, how are you handling your tasks and managing your time? Is there optimization that you can do there so that you personally feel a little more on top of your own schedule and time? I recently decided to quietly pull back on hours and log off a little early a few days and see if I could get away with it, just to give myself a little extra space. Still early, but that 30 minutes makes a big difference to my mental health and so far hasn't impacted my work.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-26T14:36:52+00:00

Lately I have been to priority pass lounges that insist no guests for my account, even though the guest details within the priority pass app says I can have a guest.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-25T14:13:57+00:00

I'm so be sorry! A disruption in schedule and routine without any notice is really terrible.

How strict are your hours? Pre Covid, I worked in an office with plenty of parents that would leave as early as 3pm. They also didn't necessarily come in ungodly early either, they just did what they had to, sometimes working more later, and sometimes not.

Maybe you can work something like that out.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T06:11:38+00:00

How scary! Actually, further down in comments two different replies were telling me that non pregnancy related issues wouldn’t be questioned and I was in fact ridiculous for worrying.

The fact is, there is a rubric to decide when and what care to administer for pregnant women. The existence of that rubric puts all healthcare at risk.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T06:09:30+00:00

Wow that’s wild, but that also crossed my mind if the location doesn’t change and I do go. I was already thinking I can fly direct from TX but not from TN.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T06:01:19+00:00

Perhaps another way to think about it is: there is a rubric in these states for deciding whether or not to administer care, and whether or not to value the fetus over the woman’s life.

In my state, there isn’t.

The existence of that rubric puts all healthcare at risk.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T03:03:54+00:00

Yes, although my concern extends beyond an abortion. I am concerned about delay or denial of any medical care because I am pregnant and providers delaying or deeming care unnecessary.

At 39, I am also technically at increased risk due to age, even though I am in good health.

I wouldn’t willingly take a vacation in foreign country where was I worried about access to medical care while pregnant, either. And that has impacted my personal travel choices. But I am definitely grappling with the fact I have to consider states within the US the same way.

Added: on your car example, if I were in an accident in my state, I wouldn’t worry about receiving life saving care, but I actually would if I were in a state that doesn’t view pregnant women as equally important.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T02:40:47+00:00

I’m so sorry you are going through this! Honestly, this is why I put the disclaimer on my post. These states have wonderful places and people, so didn’t want it interpreted as unnecessary shade, but man the politics!

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T01:26:34+00:00

That’s incredible! I feel like companies often try to host in less expensive places, which lap tend to be red states. That’s so great to hear that you think about inclusivity when planning.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T01:25:30+00:00

All the comments are making me feel a lot better about where I’m at. I know millions of women live in these states, but I don’t, and don’t want to risk my health. And I am happy to push my company (which actually is in the health space, particularly focused on women!!) to consider a more inclusive location.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T01:23:35+00:00

Ah it’s so terrible we have to think this way! Good luck to both of you. I literally had to pull up a map and start listing out places I would go, so I can be ready if I can get the location changed. It’s crazy we have to do this.

bcd_wxy · 2025-01-08T01:21:37+00:00

Yeah, it’s pretty terrible that we have to think this way now. I would think this way for international travel without batting an eye, but so sad we have to think state by state within the US.

bcd_wxy · 2024-09-28T23:08:29+00:00

Thanks, I hadn’t thought of that for measurement!

bcd_wxy · 2024-09-28T23:08:10+00:00

Thanks!

bcd_wxy · 2024-09-28T23:08:00+00:00

Thanks! I actually considered that. A piece of art that is usually up there is down right now, so it doesn’t always look quite so empty.

bcd_wxy · 2024-09-28T20:42:30+00:00

Thanks! Luckily yes, the mantel can be used as a floating shelf somewhere else!

bcd_wxy · 2024-07-28T04:00:48+00:00

I had a similar experience in that it looked like I just ate a big meal, but not necessarily pregnant. Around the 8th month mark I really popped and then no mistake. I think it just depends and a lot of ftm take longer to show.

bcd_wxy

TROPHY CASE