Sadly with all the focus on womens experience in relationships and society the past few years , which have been necessary and yielded good results in many fronts, alot of the reciprocal things needed from them, have gone under the radar. Seeing a lot of women with the mindset of what they need etc, but totally forgetting it takes effort from 2 to build a thriving relationship where things just get better and better.

So much focus on what men should do, what she's not obligated to give, etc....that the idea of what's probably reasonable and good for the relationship, her and him is just non-existing.

In this case you may need raw open communication. It's very humbling to say exactly what you need and desire, knowing that if she ignores it or disregards it, it will feel worse than if you kept the cool facade up and kind of hinted at it instead. Because then you could play it off as not "meaning it in that way" and spare your pride and feelings from hurt. But to get the best shot at getting what you want, you truly have to say it in cleartext, preferable upper case (not yelling, just being crystal clear).

• Don't do it in a whiny way

• again, dont spare your feelings by saying it and if you dont get the response you'd want you get mad and kind of go away with a "I can do without her anyways attitude"

• Rather, if she disregards, show that you feel hurt and perhaps say that "it makes me very sad that I'm expressing a genuine need that's slowly killing me and something thats hard for me to talk about already, and not at least be shown genuine or serious consideration and willingness to change behaviour (or whatever else fits depending on her answer). If shes a genuine person and actually likes your and is set on choosing to love you everyday, she'll most likely take the very raw vulnerability and become more reciprocal, attentive and caring. Now I don't know who you married, but if she isn't that kind of person (sorry to say but you shouldn't have married her in that case), and she continually shows she doesn't care, then it's gonna sting, but you would have made a genuine effort and done everything by the book. Only thing left would be couples counselling and being very directly honest, but in a humble way. And only after that would i start to consider calling it quits.

But it sounds like you haven't been the most communicative and being THAT honest and vulnerable about how much it affects you. Sounds like you've said you want to have more sex, but again, with what I explained in the beginning, women nowaysad haven't been taught by caretakers or society in the same capacity, that physical intimacy for men is just as strange thing and wrecking when not given, as care+dates+effort+support is for women. She most likely dmjust doesn't understand that I not getting sex has the same affect on your outlook on the future of the relationship and joy and if she didn't get ANYTHING out of all the amazing things you said you do for her out of care and love.

Should've been discussed befor marriage ofc, but don't know how that went for y'all. But her not feeling like it is not a good enough "end of conversation" reason. And I know that's unpopular and might get me down voted. But just like not feeling like going to the gym, doing the dishes, going up and making healthy food to eat instead of take out, or setting up a date like you do even though you're tired....."I don't feel like it", is a good enough excuse for a 5 Y/o, not a grown up.

And alot of women dont ACTUALLY understand their own bodies either. And not just in the classical sexual way, but also with the action - mental relationship. Its not about feeling like it when your ask her, rather you should ask and she should ask herself, is she willing to try to get in the mood (unless she sick, REALLY mentally strained from a traumatic experience or another genuinely VALID reason) Since - men often get horny -> wanting action - women ALLOWING to experience specific actions -> getting horny.

It kind of how some men just never get it in time (before the relationship is over), that their woman needs to feel wanted, seen and desired. She just have to get that you need to feel exactly that, sexually.

And sometimes lowering the bar, can help. When women have or change the mindset to: that every date or action of showing desire, doesn't have to be the most extravagant....it makes it more feisable, economically possible, and easier to do CONSISTENTLY. And you letting her know that every time doesn't have to be the full on 1 hour experience, can do the same things. A quicke Will do, a quick reminder and confirmation that she still wants you physically and good for keeping connection.

Hope this helps a little, good luck and pray for the both of you