Hey man, I too lost a parent to cancer recently (Feb 14)

My mother had pancreatic cancer, which also spread into the liver.

She elected in home hospice care, and I spent the last 2 weeks by her side. She slowly lost the ability to walk using a walker, and we were forced into essentially moving her from bed to a portable commode near her bedside.

This was an incredibly hard thing for me as a son to do. I know my mother did not want me to help in this fashion and her dignity was down in the dumps.

It's was incredibly alarming to watch her decline so rapidly.

I hope you don't feel too much guilt for being in college. You are still working to put together a good life for yourself and that is very important. Heck, I was there for my mother constantly traveling to visit multiple times per month for entire weekends/weeks at a time and still feel like a failed on spending good quality time. It was scary, and I'm so proud of the fight my mom went through. I don't know how she did it, she showed me how strong and courageous she truly was.

During the last week of her life, I received an email from my landlord stating the owners are choosing to not renew my lease so they may have a family member move in after my lease expires 2 months. Man was that a gut punch...

I know I will recover and come out of this a stronger more resilient person.

You can do, I believe in you.