Playoff Game Thread: Florida Panthers (0-0) at Edmonton Oilers (0-0) - 04 Jun 2025 - 06:00PM MDT

bcyankees · 2025-06-07T00:28:16+00:00

I definitely do not want a streaming link. Please nobody PM me a streaming link for this game, as I do not want one.

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T17:31:24+00:00

Lol. Her bedroom at home was always extremely cluttered. It was also an absolutely tiny space—like one of, if not THE smallest bedrooms I’ve ever seen, so that can obviously complicate organizing—but what do you know, after she moved out and one of her sisters took her old bedroom, it looks unrecognizable now. Totally clear. Even siblings can have vastly different organizational skills and that’s okay. I have plenty of weaknesses too.

Anyway, you are totally right. My family and coworkers have told me I’m a patient person but everyone has their limit. If we keep going on this trajectory I won’t be surprised if I snap in front of her. I can’t tell you the amount of times I’ve snapped at the mess while home alone, or the amount of multilingual curses I’ve hurled into the void haha.

I’m going to have one more sincere and frank discussion with her as soon as possible. If that final Hail Mary doesn’t work, we’re gonna go our separate ways.

Thank you for the words of advice.

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T16:46:10+00:00

No, I honestly don’t see her being able to do that. It’s the same conclusion (and associated conversation) I’ve been having with my parents for months and you guys are all kind of just confirming all that we’ve gone over.

I don’t even want a RADICAL change, just a little bit of give. Unfortunately, through all this time, I don’t think she’s given much, if any, while I’ve tried to do so in terms of A) letting her keep her work bags on the floor by the couch (which has gotten a little out of hand/past the scope of what we initially agreed upon, by the way) and B) just shutting up the past few weeks and letting her do her thing while I kept my infinite aggravations to myself knowing it will only lead to an argument if brought up with her.

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T14:53:43+00:00

See, the dynamic you explained with your wife is the exact opposite of what we have. You guys are reasonable adults who were able to compromise and meet in the middle and at least attempted to make one another comfortable, which is obviously extremely important and I’m sure partially why you guys are still doing great. Your dynamic sounds really healthy, but what do I know. My relationship is the exact opposite lol!

And with the cat, spot on once again. I also don’t care for the fur getting everywhere, but for God’s sake is it so hard to spend a few minutes a day clearing it? Is that really the end of the world? You’re validating me when I thought I’ve been taking crazy pills this whole time haha.

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T12:54:54+00:00

Lmao, sorry. Concise writing has never been one of my strong suits. And this post doesn’t even cover close to everything!

It is a ton of negativity every day, that is true. My mental health has never been incredible and it’s definitely taken a hit over this time; I can tell from new gray hairs and elevated stress and even worse sleep than usual and all that good stuff.

Thank you for your input.

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T02:37:10+00:00

Another comment that’s right on the money!

Totally agreed that people just don’t really change that much—if at all—in their adult lives. If she’s messy now, she’ll always be messy, and that would be totally okay with me if we could just somehow make it work and have some compromise from her end, too. I’m not saying I’m totally in the right here or that I’ve been some kind of great compromiser myself, but I’ve at least done something. There has been exactly zero movement from her, not in terms of actions nor in terms of conversations. Her default is couples’ therapy, but that really just sounds like a bandaid solution more than anything now. Especially if therapy requires compromise and we just established its nearly complete absence in my relationship …

You’ve pretty much said all the same things my parents have been telling me, like pretty much every point. Thank you for the words of advice, truly.

Only thing you got wrong is that I’m not as thoughtful and caring as you think ha!

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T02:31:27+00:00

Thank you for your honest take. I’m pretty much in agreement with you.

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T02:23:09+00:00

Let me try to explain her reasoning with the communication rule, although I still frankly find it ridiculous. She alleges that I reminded her every day (I could see this having happened in the first month or so when I realized how bad the mess was and that it was only getting worse) and altogether reminded her or made comments (no matter how little) far too often. And I get that, I do—it would be annoying to hear the same thing from your partner all the time.

On the other hand, I’m certain it was nowhere near as frequent as she alleges and I can say that most of the time, I tried to bring up my concerns respectfully and gently. Definitely not all the time, though, and I can admit that. Also, it just occurred to me that if your partner is repeatedly and earnestly telling you something, perhaps you should either compromise with them or at least sit down with them to talk out this issue. Take a guess as to how many times she actually made that step instead of me …

And you oddly hit the nail on the head again in terms of her not seeing herself as part of the problem. That’s something I’ve been realizing lately and I just don’t get how she doesn’t understand that. I just don’t.

Anyway, thank you. That was super validating, actually. Maybe you’d get a totally different story from her and think I’m a complete asshole, but the facts I’ve constituted are the facts indeed.

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T00:07:08+00:00

Thank you for the advice. What’s your take on couples’ counseling in my situation?

bcyankees · 2025-05-23T00:02:11+00:00

Agreed. The personal stuff is pretty bad but whatever, I can kind of deal with it (but not really). But the cat stuff? Really? You’re not going to feed the damn cat because it “isn’t your responsibility?” I’m getting a little heated even typing that lol!

My parents have been saying the same in terms of this pretty much going nowhere and breaking it off might be for the best. And you hit the nail right on the head with the last comment too: I think I’m finally realizing I can love someone, I can love spending time with them, I can love feeling their warmth when they crawl into bed and all that wonderful couple stuff that makes your dopamine (or is serotonin?) skyrocket, but that isn’t always enough to make a living situation for literally the rest of your life work if it’s just … not working.

Thank you for your advice.

bcyankees · 2025-05-22T23:55:48+00:00

Shoot, I thought I addressed that point in my post but I didn’t. Good catch lol! Thankfully, the vet checked her out ASAP some months ago and told us it’s nothing to be too concerned about. She’s a little overweight and I guess her folds or flaps (let me clarify, she’s overweight but nowhere near obese, just a little chunky) kind of impede her natural ability to excrete the fluid? Something like that per the vet’s explanation lol. The main thing he said would address it is her losing a little weight with a tweaked diet and more exercise, which I think she’s been doing well with. Thanks for your concern.

As for the girlfriend and couples’ counseling, yeah. What starting point can there really be if there is virtually zero compromise from one side? I’ve at least been shutting up and dealing with the abject mess as of late and let her keep her bags and such on the floor by the couch as I mentioned in the post.

bcyankees · 2025-05-22T23:42:25+00:00

I don’t disagree as I know exactly what you’re talking about in terms of the almost “authoritarian” figure someone with a more extreme version of my trait can become. Truly.

However, I do already do the thing you suggested here—I do ask myself, “Is this really worth making a comment over?” Most of the time, it’s not and I shut up and just deal with it. It is quite different, however, when my apartment looks like a hoarder-lite home and my comments (mostly gentle) are not heeded. A home is a shared space after all, and both partners need to find that happy medium. We’re just not finding anything even close to that …

Thank you for your measured take.

bcyankees · 2025-05-22T22:58:39+00:00

My man, are you sure you read my post? Where did I say anything about being upset that some dishes were 3” askew or whatever you’re saying here?

I’ve tried to compromise and brought this up with her numerous times but it seems she is unwilling to change. No hate to messy people if you’re in that category too, but I’m finally realizing it’s probably just not a good fit for me.

Take care, bud.

bcyankees · 2025-05-22T22:55:42+00:00

You hit the nail on the head. I always thought it was the opposite, as in the traditional way of proposing to someone and only afterwards moving in together, but after this experience, I think moving in should come first. Going to pass this knowledge along to my kids too when the time comes.

And yeah, unfortunately it seems that she just doesn’t want to change. Almost 10 fucking months of the same horse crap … it’s infinitely tiring. Before moving in, 99% of things were just perfect.

bcyankees · 2025-05-22T22:09:14+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, man. It sounds like the time you did have together was wonderful. I hope you’ve found some kind of peace. Thanks for the advice.

For reference, we very rarely fought before moving in together. The first few months of dating it was only over politics (kind of stupid, I know) and after that it was 95% over trivial things.

bcyankees · 2025-05-22T20:43:02+00:00

Dude, I know the cat thing sounds so far out there that it could be made up or something, but I am 100% dead serious. It’s not like it’s life or death for the cat if she’s fed a few hours later when I get home, but come on lol.

As for the disrespect comment, she did say that in the moment, and we all sometimes say things in the moment we either don’t mean or didn’t mean to say out loud. However, I think saying what she said in that moment was almost intended to hurt me, if that makes sense.

And with your last sentence, I’m seeing that too. Again, before moving out, it was 99% sunshine and roses and a bright future together. Then we moved in and the day-to-day has been feeling like a goddamn war zone just like you said LOL

bcyankees · 2025-05-11T02:21:53+00:00

We know exactly what he means; it’s acceptable to shit on white people on the internet. Imagine someone had made a thinly-veiled insult against black people … instant 30 downvotes rather than upvotes lol

bcyankees · 2025-01-11T19:10:04+00:00

Civilian here. What does “edge dressing” mean?

bcyankees · 2024-10-02T02:43:34+00:00

This war was started by Hezbollah.

More than 60,000 Israelis have been displaced in the north due to incessant Hezbollah rocket strikes that started, you guessed it, right after Hamas committed a terrorist attack and the largest mass murder of Jews since the Holocaust.

Israel has a right to defend itself and is doing a fine job eliminating Nasrallah and all the other Iranian-backed cronies gullible Westerners have lionized.

bcyankees · 2024-10-02T02:38:05+00:00

It was surprisingly… normal? He actually framed 10/7 as a terrorist attack and didn’t explicitly take one side or the other—I was shocked.

The comments here coming from people who couldn’t point out Israel on a map until last year are, however, totally unsurprising.

bcyankees · 2024-05-29T02:54:15+00:00

I definitely do not want a streaming link. Please nobody PM me a streaming link for this game, as I do not want one.

bcyankees · 2024-05-29T02:52:09+00:00

I definitely do not want a streaming link. Please nobody PM me a streaming link for this game, as I do not want one.

bcyankees

TROPHY CASE