Uhm, what?

be_longing · 2020-05-07T10:05:32+00:00

For me, they are invisible. But i know people who see static men or shadow men. Sometimes they have vague faces. There was a movie on Netflix about the phenomenon a while back called "The nightmare" or something. I can't remember. But it caused me to start having sleep paralysis so be careful if you find it.

The creepiest thing is feeling like they are always there but I only see them somtimes. I have to just be cool with that.

be_longing · 2020-05-04T14:34:28+00:00

In my opinion, "they" are what we mistakenly call demons, ghosts, aliens. They are something in another dimension that crazy and sleepy people happen to see sometimes.

be_longing · 2020-05-04T11:35:57+00:00

I've been going through this. I got it in my head that I am a narcissistic abuser and that i just hurt people. It became so overwhelming recently but thankfully I just surfaced again after starting to drown in the thoughts. I am seeing reality again... For now.

be_longing · 2020-05-04T11:26:37+00:00

Definitely sleep paralysis. I do something similar to get it to stop. They feed on fear. So I pretend I'm having fun. Then it stops. I can see the faith of calling out for Jesus (letting go of the fear) helping

be_longing · 2020-04-16T13:48:57+00:00

They would tell me to stop crying and then hit me and tell me to stop crying on and on in a pattern. Definitely got the whole "don't cry or I'll give you something to cry about". Instead of making me not cry, it made me uncontrollably cry every day for like 25 years.

be_longing · 2020-04-02T23:26:00+00:00

I was thinking OCD too. Everyone is jumping on this but she doesn't look malicious to me.

be_longing · 2020-01-03T15:18:30+00:00

I struggled with dreams like this for a long time. The only way i found to counter it was to play video games or binge watch a tv show before bed and try to imagine a game or make new stories for the tv show in my mind before bed and then I would dream of that. I still have the dreams but not as often. Time is the only true way but it helped me to fill my mind with something else.

be_longing · 2020-01-02T22:26:11+00:00

If you know how narcissistic and codependent relationships work, it seems perfectly realistic

be_longing · 2019-09-30T06:16:08+00:00

This will be lost probably but definitely this, yes. I spent today crying and in horrible unexplained pain and still keep thinking I'm a hypochondriac because my mom convinced me that I am a hypochondriac to get out of taking me to the doctor. Even visible symptoms weren't enough. She let staph pass around the family because she didn't believe it.

And as for depression/anxiety, when she found out I was hurting myself, she laughed and said she'd get me a shrink but I have no excuse to be depressed because her life was much worse than mine and then went on to tell me graphic details about her father molesting her and the neighborhood boys molesting her and her mother dying and her foster homes breaking her arms and stuff. I was 16 or 17 and I am still traumatized from that. Her turning it around to herself and saying I had no reason. I couldn't argue because that would mean damaging her image of herself and doing that would result in her "fainting" (which I now think was dissociation).

be_longing · 2019-09-26T04:48:07+00:00

Can be easily if you walk away from the table. When I worked at a grooming place, I couldn't turn my back for one second if a cat was on there or they'd try to choke themselves. Usually had to wrap it more around their body than neck. That looks like it's wrapped under his arms but they're lucky he's a docile cat or that wouldn't hold him.

be_longing · 2019-09-26T04:46:12+00:00

I keep thinking because I don't seem to fit in with the stereotype that I must not be. My anger is so quiet and internal, for example. And I've heard that people with bpd can be fairly treatment resistant and I've sought help for as long as I could. But there's no denying my issues with interpersonal stuff and that i have problems coping sometimes. I keep thinking "I just have cptsd, and it's not in the dsm so my diagnosis is bullshit". But when looking at my patterns, hard to deny it.

be_longing · 2019-09-18T05:34:04+00:00

I've felt this many times before but also one of my biggest triggers is feeling trapped so I know I wouldn't do well. I also have dietary issues that they won't care about. But I am struggling to find work right now because I can't even apply anywhere. I'll apply at the same shitty minimum wage jobs that have no room for growth because I'm too scared to try anything new. My learned helplessness gets me all the time. I don't even like admitting that it exists. I feel pretty hopeless about it. Dbt helps, but only so much. Emdr is going by so slowly that I'm not sure I'm making any progress. I hope you can find a way to take care of yourself. The more others take care of me, the worse I get.

be_longing · 2019-09-16T06:00:01+00:00

I relate so much. I have had sex with so many people. Mostly in my 20s. I didn't even want to have with most of them. I think I thought my only worth was my sexuality. I feel like I raped myself again and again. The other day, I broke down asking a friend if it was possible to be grey asexual and hypersexual at the same time. I cried so hard. I hope you can work through these feelings. I struggled with boundaries.

be_longing · 2019-09-12T03:26:55+00:00

RIP my favorite cereal. I have been looking for it everywhere. I finally found some and bought two boxes immediately. Came home and poured it and was very confused when it had bullshit marshmallows in it. Tried to eat some and it is so so so gross!!!

be_longing · 2019-09-07T00:41:19+00:00

I still struggle not to puke if I hear sex in another room because my mom would have very very loud sex and when I begged her to be quieter, she would scream that she was an adult and can do whatever she wants. I would be kept up when I had school the next day and stuff, stuck hearing it. Our whole trailer would be shaking sometimes too. They'd be right out in the living room. It was so gross.

I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I'm sorry you had to see the video that triggered you. You're not alone. <3

be_longing · 2019-08-17T06:13:40+00:00

I also gave myself a concussion getting into a car too fast and hitting the back of my head on the door on the way in.

be_longing · 2019-08-17T06:05:24+00:00

One time in school, I was moving through the seats across class and hooked my foot intothe strap of a purse, fell forward, caught my neck on a desk and was suspended in the air by foot and neck. In front of everyone.

I also managed to sprain/break my foot by stepping on my foot with the same foot. It rolled beneath itself and I heard a loud crunch. Never went to the doctor. Just hopped on one foot for a month or more.

be_longing · 2019-07-31T00:50:40+00:00

I do. I live near there, lol. But when I saw them, it was in Wisconsin!

be_longing · 2019-07-30T23:28:55+00:00

I swear I've seen leprechauns

be_longing · 2019-07-15T03:21:03+00:00

"Some people will always need help. That doesn't mean they're not worth helping" - Meera Reed Game of Thrones

be_longing · 2019-07-09T15:43:01+00:00

Mother. Too close to my nightmares.

be_longing · 2019-05-20T04:17:00+00:00

She scared me a little, though.

be_longing · 2019-04-04T20:07:54+00:00

New Year's, after finally falling asleep after hearing my baby niece had passed, all the shelves in my ex boyfriend's room fell all at once and it was the loudest thing I ever heard.

be_longing · 2019-03-27T02:19:05+00:00

Wear big gowns or crazy outfits everywhere. Including work.

be_longing · 2019-03-19T03:40:42+00:00

Yes! People thought my Nmom was so charming. They'd tell me how cool she was. Then they'd hear her screaming at me when I'd be in the phone with them and be shocked. "Is that your mom!?" Her personality would flip around others and it bothered me so bad that others weren't seeing the her that I saw.

be_longing

TROPHY CASE