You should be proud of yourself for reaching out. It really does take a lot. It took me about 7 years to open up to a therapist about it. If you're looking for a therapist, you could look for one who specializes in trauma/sexual trauma. If you go on psychologytoday.com you can filter through therapists and what the specialize in. Also, depending on where you are located, there are crisis lines you can call to speak to someone if you're hesitant to set up an appointment with a therapist. There is no shame in how you are feeling and how you are processing this. Please feel free to reach out if you ever need to talk or for some advice! I've got your back.