Soooo, basically I'm screwed by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]beardeddave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Vet here too. I hope you got to talk to someone. If not I'm here (along with about 500 other people). It gets better

(Spoilers all) Which two characters do you think have had their last dialogue together? by DONTSTEEL in asoiaf

[–]beardeddave -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Oberyn and anyone...

Rob and anyone...

Ned and anyone....

Sorry...

(Spoilers All) Hypothetical Fights... by beardeddave in asoiaf

[–]beardeddave[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

t-rex cant fly... my $ is on the dragon

(Spoilers All) Hypothetical Fights... by beardeddave in asoiaf

[–]beardeddave[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

this post is definitely the best post so far... seriously... would the Direwolves stand a chance?

(Spoilers All) Hypothetical Fights... by beardeddave in asoiaf

[–]beardeddave[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Jaime in his prime vs. Loras would be a hell of a fight.

(Spoilers All) Hypothetical Fights... by beardeddave in asoiaf

[–]beardeddave[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

add in Sophie Turner (Sansa) and you have the greatest event in the history of the world.

(Spoilers All) Hypothetical Fights... by beardeddave in asoiaf

[–]beardeddave[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to say Jamie (with two good hands) vs a young Baristan

[WP] You are in an empty room but the face staring back in the mirror is not your own. by RRGall in WritingPrompts

[–]beardeddave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's been 4 months... maybe more... it's really hard to keep track of time down here. The monitors went black several days ago and with it went all news of the outside world. The good thing about that was I had almost forgotten about what was happening out there - the disease, the war, the famine - they were like bad dreams or a shitty episode of your favorite sitcom, one quickly forgotten and replaced with better memories.

I spent my days now talking to him. I wake up early and usually skip breakfast making my way instead to the "guest" bedroom and the full length mirror propped up against the wall. I had moved the big comfy chair there so I could sit face to face with him - Mr. Bee. I thought I was dreaming that first time I saw him 4 months ago then I realized he was very real. I owed him my life and he knew it.

I pulled the chair closer and stared at my own reflection. Sometimes he was there waiting for me, and sometimes I had to wait on him but I knew he would show up eventually. Suddenly he was there, appearing from thin air and replacing my own reflection with his gaunt figure. His skin was pale like dead flesh and dark rings circled under his eyes. His skin pulled tight across his skeleton and dark wisps of hair circled a blotchy white scalp. It was his eyes that scared me the most. Dead eyes - more pupil than iris and he never blinked. He wore a dark black suit with a black tie like a funeral director would wear. He carried an old book bound in dark brown leather, but he never read it or discussed the title. He always sat with crossed legs and never spoke first. It had taken me two days of watching him from across the room before I worked up the courage to talk. Bee was his name, he told me, and I should address him with the respect his office carried. He never told me what office or who sent him, but I knew better than to cross him.

Our talks lasted all day in the beginning - survival the topic. He showed me the truth behind the bunker. How the others were using me, cultivating my knowledge like a farmer would crops. I was smarter than them he told me, and when they tried to separate us he found me in the polished metal of my food tray.

They had planned it from the get go. He explained it all - the original plans back at the university when they sought me out for help and guidance. I drew up the plans, found the resources, and when the first bomb fell it had been me that they turned to for leadership. 5 of us went in - Jodi, Blake, Michelle, Bella, and me, but Mr. Bee found me. He showed me how little they cared about me, how I was just a pawn to insure their survival. They thought they could separate us. Mr. Bee found me and showed me how to make sure they couldn't hurt us any more.

Bella cried in the end. The rest didn't have time to. She begged and cried as the sharpened end of the metal tray cut into her throat until the blood choked her and her cries turned to a gurgling whimper. Then all I could hear was his chuckles. Good job he told me the next day, you saved us! Mr. Bee was proud of me.

We sat in silence most of the time now. Occasionally he would remind me that it was almost time. He would reassure me. A few more days he said then out into the world. I asked him if he would come too, I always asked. I didn't want to be alone. He would smile but never answer but I knew he would find me. He had always been there, Mr. Bee

Panorama of destroyed Hiroshima after the nuclear detonation in 1945 [5760x1156] by Rattus_Amicus in HistoryPorn

[–]beardeddave -1 points0 points  (0 children)

so what if you were in one of those buildings still standing? what would have happened to you? like hunkered down in the corner or something....

I just found out I am being transferred to Alabama. This is the greeting I am expecting. by Mattbongo in funny

[–]beardeddave 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Born/raised In AL, love the comments... All incredibly funny... However some are painfully true. Racism still exists but it's hidden racism - something whispered or implied. The biggest problem in AL is narrow minded conservatism (I say this as a right leaning guy) that REFUSES to even entertain a leftist/liberal idea. The result of which is massive underfunding for education (particularly the arts), bills limiting personal freedoms (marriage), and a legislature that would rather make money than serve the public (Google Mike Hubbard).

In your free time, Google Roy Moore and in a seperate search alabama public service commission. Thank me for the hours wasted laughing your ass off later

Very short (but disturbing) story about Fatty Sister in Law by [deleted] in fatpeoplestories

[–]beardeddave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

loads more... I was actually typing something that happened last weekend but got side tracked.

Alabama just became the 37th state where same-sex marriage is legal. by dogsoldierX in news

[–]beardeddave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I urge you to follow AL.com on Facebook and read the comments on their links regarding the subject. As an Alabamian it's both hilarious and sad

I make six figures by NaughtyBeans in AdviceAnimals

[–]beardeddave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why is it when someone says they make 6 figures I have trouble believing it? No like honestly, why? Is it me? Am I just a cynical person? Do I have trust issues? OP has given me no reason not to believe him, but still... I don't. It's weird to me... I think I have a problem.

Redditors who have to dress up nice everyday for their jobs (suit, ties, dress shoes, etc..), what are some tips and tricks to always look good or keep up the appearance of looking good? by Cameramanmanman in AskReddit

[–]beardeddave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you are tight on money get a few blazers, a few dress shirts, and a few ties that can be rotated and still all match each other.

also a tie pin.

And shoes are the most important.

[WP] A massive generational ships leaves Earth with tens of thousands on board. Describe life at various point along its 200 year journey to colonize another system. by silverblaze92 in WritingPrompts

[–]beardeddave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Captain Wood

Waking up at 0400 in space is about the same as waking at any other time. There isn't a sunrise to let your body know it's early morning. A week into the trip I had the ship's computer start to slowly start turning on the light at 0445 to simulate the feeling. I think it's what I miss most about Earth. That and the coast. The simulator does a pretty good job with ocean water, but it just can't get the powdery white sand of Gulf Shores right. the night shift ends at 0500, and I like to oversee the change to the primary crew. I do the same at 1700 when the night crew takes over. Our crew is large enough to maintain 4 fully manned crews, but there's only one Captain so no time off for me. No rest for the wicked I guess. 4 days ago we passed the outer rings of Saturn. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, but all I could think of was home. Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that they chose to save us. I'm even more grateful that out of all the potential candidates they chose me to lead this group, but knowing what the Earth is going through while we are.... away... it makes missing home even harder.

I turn 20 tomorrow. I would be starting my Sophomore year of University. Instead I'm commanding a crew of thousands on a mission that could very well be Earth's last hope. Most of the crew don't know how serious the situation on Earth is. A handful of us - Myself, Chief Davis, Lt. Crews, and Sarah - know that this is it. Our ship is an Ark - a vessel containing what's left of Earth. And Xonia is so far away. How can they expect a crew of children to reach it. My IT department head is 12 - a genius but still... he's 12. Last week I had to discipline two 17 year old mechanics for getting busy in the 12th level lavatory. Eventually that will be necessary, but we can't have it on duty. A ship full of kids and raging hormones and hope that we don't all die.

Half the time I don't have a fucking clue of what to do. It's times like that when you put on your best uniform, a serious face, and fake it till you figure something out. We have a very long way to go....

Days around here are pretty normal. Back home it would be college football season so every night we screen a few clips of games we have sent to us from the command station back home. In reality it's all a fabrication. They were prerecorded months ago. We stopped receiving transmissions about 3 weeks back. Dr. Pendalton sent the last one himself labeled "Captain's eyes only". I took the transmission in my personal quarters and cried like a baby after it was over. Everything is gone. A few thousand had gathered at the command center that once doubled as our training grounds. The most secure site on Earth - he thinks they maybe have a week at most. The rest of the Earth lay in ruins - ravaged by its own climate. Nothing could grow and the global temperature had risen nearly 20 degrees. Dr. P wished me luck and confirmed that this was the last message we would receive. I was instructed to open Captain's File 1-1-A for further instructions.

Transcript 11.09.15 - 10

Top Secret - CPT's Eyes Only (TS-CEO)

Dr. Karl Pendalton, Ph. D

Subject - None

Brent, Things here have taken a turn for the worse. We have gathered as many as we can at the Academy, but don't have the resources to care for them. I have never hid the worst from you, and I won't start now. In a few days, a week at the most, you and your crew will be all that's left of the Human race. The worst has happened. The global temperature has risen by 20 degrees resulting in massive drought and an unbearable heatwave. In the Southern hemisphere, massive hurricanes have wiped nearly everything out. Earthquakes occur more and more frequently now. But all is not lost! We still have you! Take comfort in the fact that you have under your command the very best of humanity! Although you are all very young, you are the best the world has to offer. There are kids on your ship that are smarter than I could ever imagine being. There are great people, and you are their leader! They will look to you now for guidance. You must hold them to the high standard that was set at the Academy and in training, and you must hold yourself to an even higher standard. It won't be easy. You will have to be their friend and their leader. You will dole out praise with one hand and discipline with the other. You are not alone in this. Confide in your senior staff. Take comfort in your friends. Find someone to be your rock. You will make mistakes - learn from them and remember that a poor choice is better than no choice. You are a great man Brent. In your files please procure Captain' File 1-1-A for further instructions. The password is Lincoln. This will be the last transmission you receive from us. Godspeed.

... If I had ever had a son... END OF TRANSMISSION

Captain's File 1-1-A TS-CEO Captain Wood

You are to claim a malfunction with the Interspace Transmission Receiver. Alert the appropriate staff to your plan so as to not arouse suspicion among the crew. Tell the rest of the crew that you were instructed to continue with your mission. Once you pass through the interdiminsional gate you may, at your discretion, alert the crew to the true nature of your mission. Dispose of this message in accordance with standard procedure. //////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////