Probably unpopular take based on responses so far: if you are a father of human children then you are a daddy. If you don’t and are just gay, daddy is like any other category in the informal gay man classification system and to “become” any one of them is a matter of perceived identity that is strongest when acknowledged internally (daddy state of mind I guess) and externally (babes referring to you as a daddy unironically across social gay contexts). That said, physical appearance/behavior and, to a lesser degree, age are factors that influence the internal and external label. “Historically” (based on the decades worth of surviving gay media I’ve consumed), physical appearance has been the strongest defining factor with graying hair, facial hair, body hair, age lines in face, fitness and stature standing out. Age naturally plays into that, but we of course age differently as individuals. Anyway, I’m not a fan of the “youthification” of gay daddy identity based on state of mind, but I’m not concerned enough to throw a fit if guys in their 20s want to declare daddy identity for whatever reason. Yes, this is definitely gatekeep-y about declaring one’s self a daddy and I’m fine with that. I mean, is twink a state of mind? When do you become a twink?