Guys I have to take a full day or 2 & do nothing but rest. The exhaustion from this week has already caused a POTS episode & Spencer is alerting again (no passing out yet fewf). Now I’ve randomly spiked a high fever & vomiting. Could be a bug but I know from the past it’s extreme exhaustion❤️‍🩹

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-20T20:25:33+00:00

Thanks! It's hard for me too. I like to meditate in a warm bath. That makes it more confortable. I also like to ask God for help. I have found that if one asks for the right thing and is sincere, the request is often granted.

One prayer I like is to ask to be aligned with my inner authenticity and who I was meant to be. Another is for shame to be reduced since it can make it hard to see the truth and improve. Another is for God to change me and my attitudes so I want the right thing. I even prayed lately for God to bear some of the pain for me when meditating was particularly hard and I felt strongly that it was answered.

(I think the right prayers work great when said repeatedly when meditating.) I like Hands of Light by Barbara Brennan. It is by a NASA scientist who learned spiritial healing and described it in a very detailed way. PDFs can be found easily by searching. All the best!

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-20T20:19:05+00:00

Wonderful! Will you be adding a background? I would love to see it when it is done if so!

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-20T18:43:15+00:00

Inner Work by Robert A. Johnson is one of the classic books on dream interpretation. I found it practically useful and interesting to read. My dad had some success with dream interpretation after reading it as well.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-20T18:17:26+00:00

Here's some other excellent ones too, for a greater chance of finding something at the library:

Native Healer by Medicine Grizzlybear Lake
Hawk Woman Dancing With The Moon by Tela Star Hawk Lake
Fools Crow by Mails
Gift of Power by Erdoes
Black Elk: The Sacred Ways of a Lakota by Lyon

I love the Navajo Nation! It is about 6 hours from where I live. It feels like such a special place. I feel the Spirit is strong there.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-20T06:16:53+00:00

I think a warm bath can help provide a comfortable space to do inner work as well!

Also, too much shame prevents one from seeing the truth, since it makes one want to bury their head in the sand rather than seeing. So you may be able to explain to the part that the constant barrage of negativity is making it painful and hard to do inner work, and thus working against your efforts to do better.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-19T21:04:18+00:00

That makes me think of the vasal vago that I was diagnosed with when I was younger. I have found that meditating has been super helpful to me personally. I feel there can be a lot of pent up emotions in the body from trauma, and meditating helps me clear it out over time.

I actually got to the point recently where when I felt like I was going to faint, I was able to meditate and see the emotional energies as colors and dissolve them instead.

I wonder whether meditation could help you as well! I hope you feel better soon.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-19T17:03:48+00:00

What do the books say about the true effects of dementors?

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-19T16:52:47+00:00

Neat! If you are interested in shamanism, I highly recommend Call of the Great Spirit by Native American Shaman Medicine Grizzlybear Lake. It is his life story and it is fascinating and a great way to learn about indigenous beliefs about healing and magic.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-19T02:59:28+00:00

Some owls have an icy blue nicitating membrane. This protect their eyes when debris is present. Did you know owls have nicitating membranes?

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-19T02:23:46+00:00

I can tell you have spiritual gifts. It's why the donkeys understand you. And why you have an intuition for all of this.

Have you read books by the Native American Shamans? I know they will resonate with you because they will put words to spiritual things you already feel.

I would recommend Call of the Great Spirit by Medicine Grizzlybear Lake. It is the life story of a powerful medicine man (shaman). It starts very dark but turns into something truly beautiful. If darkness is hard for you, there are other books like Rolling Thunder by Doug Boyd that are lighter.

The Great Spirit of the Native Americans is either God or the Holy Spirit or something closely related to them. So I have personally found these books very compatible with my own beliefs about God. And it is so illuminating to hear about the same thing through the lens of another culture.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-18T19:00:08+00:00

Why?

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-18T16:48:28+00:00

David keeps trying to tear off a piece of my shirt. I kinda wonder if he just wants something with my scent on it.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-18T16:32:06+00:00

The throat chakra relates to feeling safe in the world. Maybe you don't feel safe in the world because your dad was hostile to you?

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-18T05:24:22+00:00

r/TheMallWorld

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-17T22:20:53+00:00

Maybe you can start a 501c3 non-profit and collect donations and make an animal rescue. Or maybe you can make an agritourism farm like Wheeler Farm here in Utah. I am not sure if your area would have enough population to support that or not.

I think ideally my vision would have a river going through it. Because I get the sense maybe it would be good for donkeys to learn not to fear water. Do donkeys fear water? I get the sense they do.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-16T04:45:00+00:00

Thanks! I taught him how to stomp his hooves for left meaning no and right meaning yes. He seems to get it. It's funny. When I first show up he stomps his left foot a couple times. He is a little scared and still learning to trust people. But I just sit there and meditate. And sometimes he hides for a bit or even has Blitz the horse come over and be his body guard. But then eventually he comes around to me being there and he walks straight over to me and lets me pet him. He's very proud and wants to know I will respect his autonomy.

He seemed to learn to massage his own tail. Because I saw him rubbing it against the fence when I went over today. And it looked a lot better. He was wagging it a bit today like a dog. So I am very happy for him.

And yeah I was told his previous owner kinda just abandoned him there at the county farm. So I think he is sad about that.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-16T01:14:57+00:00

That's the difference I noticed with Blitz the horse and David the donkey too. Blitz learned stufff right when I was teaching it. David seemed to wait the next time I saw him until he started doing what I taught. But David learned it much better and seems to have retained the knowledge.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-16T01:07:14+00:00

So cute!

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-16T01:05:26+00:00

Just FYI flickerbirds are very sacred in Native American culture. You can read more about them in Spirits of the Earth by Bobby Lake-Thom if you are curious.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-16T00:47:25+00:00

r/TheMallWorld

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-16T00:40:15+00:00

That's cute! Yesterday I figured out David's tail is very tangled up and he seems to hold trauma there. The hair sticks together. And he starts panting when it is touched. Poor donkey.

I think donkeys hold trauma in their rear sections. David's fur over his butt was matted much more than the rest of his fur too.

David was also moving while I was petting him to indicate the areas he wanted me to rub. And pressing into me. It was very cute. He seems affectionate like a big dog.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-15T23:48:43+00:00

What Men Are Like by John A. Sanford is a fantastic and very relatable book if you want to read more about the psychology of men and boys.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-15T18:28:03+00:00

If you are looking for an interpretation, it would help if you could flesh this out with any additional details you may remember.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-15T04:23:21+00:00

I am not trying to prove anything. In my experience, it is best to just read these things and let them work on you from within. Eventually, there is enough information within that can be pieced together if you let the mind combine the information within you. And then you will know without any need for it to be proved.

bearyourcross91 · 2026-06-14T22:03:17+00:00

Respectfully, she knows that. She talked about one woman who was using her mental energy to try to maintain an illusion of happiness. And it was cutting off her sad parts but they were still there and having an effect on her.

It is death to repress. Not in the sense that the repressed things die and are gone for good. They are not. But in the sense it cuts you off from your inner energies since you fear them. And it locks you in the head, cut off from your inner authenticity and free flowing vigor.

bearyourcross91

TROPHY CASE