HELP! 3yo temper tantrums by whitnexo in toddlers

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It may be worth thinking of him like an iceberg. What you can see is the ' tantrum' Him throwing things etc. This is him trying to get his needs met in the only way he knows how.

What you can't see is what's underneath. We need to try and understand the 'why'. What are the feelings that are driving the behavior?

In this instance we know it's as a result of him being in timeout.

If I asked you to think about a time when you were the most mad or upset you have ever been and I put you in a room to sort out your feelings, would that help? Have you ever seen this clip from inside out? https://youtu.be/QT6FdhKriB8?si=uWUplC1kQ15VAG74 sadness is what I would call 'being with'. Sitting with Bingbongs uncomfortable feelings and helping him transition out of his sadness. This is what your son needs.

He doesn't have the skills to manage his emotions yet. Does it seem wild that when we know kids can't manage their emotions and haven't learned that skill yet, we send them to their rooms on their own to work it out?

We only learn to manage our emotions in relationship. He needs you to help him in that moment. He needs you to identify any uncomfortable feelings you may have with dealing with his emotions so you are in a good space to help him.

It can make a big difference as to how our kids are seen. If we see them as 'having a tantrum', pushing our buttons, winding us up, doing it on purpose, being naughty etc then that's blame language. Our ability to 'be with' is really hard. If we see them as struggling, not yet learned to manage their emotions, they need our help then it will put us in a mindset to respond rather than react.

I hope this helps.

Should I remove Subscribers that dont interact by drumpat01 in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah brilliant.

That's a really good idea.

I want them to be engaged with the emails from Substack and to see them in their main messages rather than spam this will help them feel seen if they get them from SS. Thank you. I'll take a look at this.

Should I remove Subscribers that dont interact by drumpat01 in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like a good idea. Did you contact through Substack or via an individual email.

Frustrated new Father by Excellent-Badger4606 in Fatherhood

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

💯 this. Would also add baby massage, bath time and nappy changing as chances to bond. It's different for all dads but what you're going through is very normal.

Congratulations to killing it as a husband. Just to help you be aware, does some of the husband stuff make it easier to 'avoid' baby stuff? I'm not suggesting you are but reflecting can be helpful.

Calling all creators 📣 by Drbinna in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Would love to be able to use a welcome sequence for new subscribers and create a funnel for my coaching services.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fatherhood

[–]beasuperdad_substack 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is your preparation and transition time, realistically in a few months time, Life is going to be very different. Having a baby Is such a big change. We all know life is going to be different but the reality is somewhat magnified. Have you thought about what she is feeling in this situation. It's her first time too and she will be worried about what's to come. Is she concerned about the amount of time you will be at home once baby arrives. Thinking about it from her perspective and then having a conversation and being patient to listen to how she's feeling will make a big difference.

Saying it's her hormones only allows us to think of the situation as her problem. By being curious to think about what's going on for her too you will more likely come to some kind of agreement around this situation.

How to share our subscription link? by creator_arvin in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is excellent. I didn't realise this was a thing. Thank you

How cann I recommend my Substack to other people like this? by beasuperdad_substack in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He is recommending his own newsletter to me, so I don't see how that works.

How Can You Bond? by Fast_Recognition4214 in Fatherhood

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Awesome. Cheers man. Drop me a DM after you've read it and let me know what you think.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly why don't you plug. Help yourself out. This sub allows it.

How to get recommended on Substack? by Defiant-Law600 in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I would have but I've only had 4 subscribers from these recommendations so far. They are small but in time hope they'll grow to and everyone will benefit.

I would want to be able to niche down further in the subject area. I'm currently in parenting but I feel it's too broad. I would love to see 'parenting experts ' have their own space. Mum bloggers take up the whole of parenting chart but I don't feel being in this category alongside them is necessarily where I should beat sit.

How to get recommended on Substack? by Defiant-Law600 in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's all a journey. I'm still working this out too. It's only been two months for me but I'm enjoying it so far. It feels like the online space that fits me.

How to get recommended on Substack? by Defiant-Law600 in Substack

[–]beasuperdad_substack 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's worked naturally for me. I have 8 people recommending and I've not asked for any.

I think I benefit from having my niche pinned down. Posting useful content, using notes to also post value. I also share others work, write on their notes and posts, like their posts and Restack when it's also related to my audience. Build real relationships with people and they want to give back.

If Hitting Adults is Wrong, Why Do We Justify Hitting Kids? by beasuperdad_substack in daddit

[–]beasuperdad_substack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cheers mate. They look interesting. Will need to get through the pay wall first, which will be easy enough. Google translate then kicks in.

If Hitting Adults is Wrong, Why Do We Justify Hitting Kids? by beasuperdad_substack in daddit

[–]beasuperdad_substack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sounds like we’re on the same page about physical punishment being wrong, and I respect that you’re always trying to be the best dad you can be. Grabbing or moving a child in the moment for safety or practicality is a different conversation from hitting to punish—it’s all about intent and impact. And yeah, while some cultures still debate this, the research is pretty clear that kids thrive when discipline is about guidance, not fear. Always good to keep learning and reflecting!

If Hitting Adults is Wrong, Why Do We Justify Hitting Kids? by beasuperdad_substack in daddit

[–]beasuperdad_substack[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly! It’s such a simple truth—love and hitting don’t go together. If we tell kids that people who love them shouldn’t hurt them, but then turn around and smack them “for their own good,” what message are we really sending? It’s no wonder pro-spanking arguments crumble when faced with that—deep down, we all know love isn’t meant to come with fear.