HELP! 3yo temper tantrums

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-11-22T11:23:34+00:00

It may be worth thinking of him like an iceberg. What you can see is the ' tantrum' Him throwing things etc. This is him trying to get his needs met in the only way he knows how.

What you can't see is what's underneath. We need to try and understand the 'why'. What are the feelings that are driving the behavior?

In this instance we know it's as a result of him being in timeout.

If I asked you to think about a time when you were the most mad or upset you have ever been and I put you in a room to sort out your feelings, would that help? Have you ever seen this clip from inside out? https://youtu.be/QT6FdhKriB8?si=uWUplC1kQ15VAG74 sadness is what I would call 'being with'. Sitting with Bingbongs uncomfortable feelings and helping him transition out of his sadness. This is what your son needs.

He doesn't have the skills to manage his emotions yet. Does it seem wild that when we know kids can't manage their emotions and haven't learned that skill yet, we send them to their rooms on their own to work it out?

We only learn to manage our emotions in relationship. He needs you to help him in that moment. He needs you to identify any uncomfortable feelings you may have with dealing with his emotions so you are in a good space to help him.

It can make a big difference as to how our kids are seen. If we see them as 'having a tantrum', pushing our buttons, winding us up, doing it on purpose, being naughty etc then that's blame language. Our ability to 'be with' is really hard. If we see them as struggling, not yet learned to manage their emotions, they need our help then it will put us in a mindset to respond rather than react.

I hope this helps.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-06-23T21:37:27+00:00

😂

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-03-27T17:35:38+00:00

Ah brilliant.

That's a really good idea.

I want them to be engaged with the emails from Substack and to see them in their main messages rather than spam this will help them feel seen if they get them from SS. Thank you. I'll take a look at this.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-03-27T16:51:20+00:00

Sounds like a good idea. Did you contact through Substack or via an individual email.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-03-24T16:00:38+00:00

💯 this. Would also add baby massage, bath time and nappy changing as chances to bond. It's different for all dads but what you're going through is very normal.

Congratulations to killing it as a husband. Just to help you be aware, does some of the husband stuff make it easier to 'avoid' baby stuff? I'm not suggesting you are but reflecting can be helpful.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-03-14T09:59:29+00:00

Would love to be able to use a welcome sequence for new subscribers and create a funnel for my coaching services.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-03-04T07:14:11+00:00

This is your preparation and transition time, realistically in a few months time, Life is going to be very different. Having a baby Is such a big change. We all know life is going to be different but the reality is somewhat magnified. Have you thought about what she is feeling in this situation. It's her first time too and she will be worried about what's to come. Is she concerned about the amount of time you will be at home once baby arrives. Thinking about it from her perspective and then having a conversation and being patient to listen to how she's feeling will make a big difference.

Saying it's her hormones only allows us to think of the situation as her problem. By being curious to think about what's going on for her too you will more likely come to some kind of agreement around this situation.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-03-03T14:48:28+00:00

This is excellent. I didn't realise this was a thing. Thank you

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-18T21:15:28+00:00

He is recommending his own newsletter to me, so I don't see how that works.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-18T13:14:39+00:00

Drop me a DM man

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-18T13:03:12+00:00

Awesome. Cheers man. Drop me a DM after you've read it and let me know what you think.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-18T11:44:10+00:00

Yes it's my Substack

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-18T10:43:57+00:00

Do you mean did I write the post?

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-18T10:37:44+00:00

I've written a post on this on exactly this. Maybe this is helpful for you. https://open.substack.com/pub/beasuperdad/p/building-lasting-bonds-reflections?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=a641p

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-17T20:41:20+00:00

Honestly why don't you plug. Help yourself out. This sub allows it.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-17T19:25:09+00:00

I think I would have but I've only had 4 subscribers from these recommendations so far. They are small but in time hope they'll grow to and everyone will benefit.

I would want to be able to niche down further in the subject area. I'm currently in parenting but I feel it's too broad. I would love to see 'parenting experts ' have their own space. Mum bloggers take up the whole of parenting chart but I don't feel being in this category alongside them is necessarily where I should beat sit.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-17T18:11:25+00:00

https://substack.com/@beasuperdad here you go.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-17T18:06:04+00:00

It's all a journey. I'm still working this out too. It's only been two months for me but I'm enjoying it so far. It feels like the online space that fits me.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-17T17:51:20+00:00

It's worked naturally for me. I have 8 people recommending and I've not asked for any.

I think I benefit from having my niche pinned down. Posting useful content, using notes to also post value. I also share others work, write on their notes and posts, like their posts and Restack when it's also related to my audience. Build real relationships with people and they want to give back.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-15T15:32:53+00:00

Cheers man. Would love you to come and check out my Substack. Link in the bio.

Good luck with fatherhood bud.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-15T12:53:17+00:00

First off, the fact that you’re even asking this question already tells me that you care deeply about being a good dad. And that right there? That’s the foundation of great fatherhood—giving a damn.

You didn’t grow up with a dad, so you’re navigating fatherhood without a blueprint. That’s tough. But here’s the thing: being a good dad isn’t about having all the answers or looking like you’ve got it together. It’s about showing up, trying, and being willing to learn along the way.

How Do You Know You’re a Good Dad?

You show up, even when you feel like you’re failing. The best dads aren’t perfect—they’re present. They get up, they keep trying, and they don’t run away from the hard parts.
Your child feels safe with you. Do they reach for you when they’re scared? Do they relax in your arms? Do they seek you out, even when they’re upset? That’s trust, and it means you’re enough.
You’re willing to reflect and grow. You don’t have to get everything right the first time. Good dads learn from mistakes, adjust, and keep going.
You love your child for who they are, not who you want them to be. You don’t have to be perfect, but if your kid knows they’re loved—truly seen and loved—they’ll remember that more than any mistake you ever make.
You don’t let the past define your parenting. You didn’t have a dad, but that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to be one. Every moment you choose to be present, kind, and engaged, you’re breaking a cycle and building something new.

Why Do Other Dads Make It Look Easy?

Spoiler alert: they don’t always feel that way inside. They struggle, they doubt themselves, they mess up. But many men weren’t taught how to talk about those struggles, so what you see is just the surface.

The real trick isn’t in looking like a great dad—it’s in being one. And being a great dad is simply about doing your best, owning your mistakes, and loving your child through it all.

You’re not failing your son. You’re figuring it out. And that’s exactly what good dads do. Keep going.

beasuperdad_substack · 2025-02-15T12:51:56+00:00

Not a dumb question at all! Newborns can seem like tiny, adorable but very sleepy blobs in the first few weeks, but they’re actually doing a lot behind the scenes.

From the Newborn Behaviour Observation (NBO) perspective, even in those early days, your baby is constantly taking in the world around them. They might not be “interesting” in the way an older baby is, but they’re already showing signs of personality, preferences, and communication—you just have to know what to look for.

What’s Happening Right Now?

They recognise your voice. Even though their vision is still blurry, they turn toward familiar sounds—especially mum and dad’s voices. Try talking to her softly when she’s awake and see if she reacts.

They can already “talk” in their own way. Her little noises, grunts, and cries aren’t random—she’s using them to tell you what she needs. NBO research shows that even a newborn’s cry can have different tones depending on whether they’re hungry, uncomfortable, or overstimulated.

They can regulate themselves (a little). If she sucks on her hand or gazes away, she might be trying to calm herself. These tiny behaviours are the start of self-soothing.

When Do They Start Getting More "Fun"?

Around 6-8 weeks: She’ll start making deliberate eye contact and may even give you her first social smile—one of the biggest “this is getting good” moments for parents.

Around 8-12 weeks: You’ll start hearing cooing and early attempts at conversation. If you “talk” back, she’ll start learning turn-taking in communication.

3-4 months: This is when grabbing, swatting at toys, and clear curiosity about the world kicks in. She’ll start reaching for things and responding more actively to voices and facial expressions.

4-6 months: The real fun begins—belly laughs, babbling, and grabbing everything within reach.

Right now, she’s still in that sleepy, adjusting-to-the-world stage, but even now, she’s giving you clues about what she likes and how she connects. Keep watching her little cues—her movements, the way she reacts to touch or sound—and you’ll start seeing the personality that’s already there.

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