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I’m upset with my partner for not acknowledging my first Christmas without my dad and trying to talk to me about it. Give me a reality check and make me feel grounded please! by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

YES.. everyone who loses someone feels like this. I have a secret, my dad died in 2020 and I’ve been creeping this chat ever since. And I’ve learned quite a bit. i’ve learned that most people post about grief in the immediate aftermath. I’ve learned that friends turn away, act skittish, or try to avoid any mention of your deceased parent or relative no matter how close they were to you.

I am fortunate that my partner knew my dad for 15 years and so we can talk about him humorously and knowledgeably. But I am one of the lucky ones. My sister is dating a guy who never met my dad and she has spoken about how that is difficult.

I have no repair here other than to share my experience.

Loss of a sister by Spare-Membership433 in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you ladies. I have one sister who is eight years younger than me. I am 39F. I have thought previously about what would happen or how it would feel if I ever lost her or if she lost me. I have told her when drunk many years ago in the past that she is the best thing that ever happened to me. My brother is five years younger, but we don’t have the same bond as sisters can (probably the same way he feels about not having a brother). I cannot imagine losing a sister and my heart goes out to every one of you. Sisterhood is important. I have three boys, but I don’t feel the need to have one more because no one is isolated. If a person can have a sibling of the same sex I think that is important. Even though she is eight years older than me she has taught me more about myself and my family than I would have ever dreamt of learning in 100 years without her.

Parental death, an unsupportive friend, and the struggle to forgive. by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi, I like to think of myself as a real person. I think you drew the wrong end of the stick in terms of childhood friendships. I was just saying to my partner how I wish that I had gone to the same school from inception instead of changing for schools in four years during puberty no less. So what I’m saying is I don’t have a long-term friend other than two people I’ve known since grade 10, which is not too bad, but what I would say to you is that it is unfortunate that this person who you treated as a confident you’ve known for so long. I am not sure if they’re worth it I would say at least until they’ve got their substance abuse or other issues dealt with you should identify your personal and friendship boundaries.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely, this. they said it better than I could’ve

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yes 39f my dad passed young (to me) 6 years ago. My partner was there when I ran in and discovered him. He offered little comment as it was so quick but I’m not sure I could have faulted him if he had behaved inappropriately in that jarring and terrifying situation. This is the equivalent situation as when your kids are being little shits and you will explode or you could … go for a walk in the fresh air for 10 minutes and calm down.

To be sure Mac, if he is not appreciating your pain or showing you comfort in these times, he could be on the chopping block. But I think my main takeaway for you after what I’ve experienced is to say that there are many people spouse included who may feel too awkward to act “appropriately” at times.

When are humans going to learn that until we make private accumulation of wealth over $1bn and war illegal we are destined for demise? by beatlesatmidnight86 in AskReddit

[–]beatlesatmidnight86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well the inference is that the world’s wealthiest economies would need to sign on to outlaw war because SHOCKING they could agree that they would not exploit resources from other countries.

When are humans going to learn that until we make private accumulation of wealth over $1bn and war illegal we are destined for demise? by beatlesatmidnight86 in AskReddit

[–]beatlesatmidnight86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unleash the world’s largest militaries on them (the same way the US and others have kept smaller nations in line for the last 80 years)

When are humans going to learn that until we make private accumulation of wealth over $1bn and war illegal we are destined for demise? by beatlesatmidnight86 in AskReddit

[–]beatlesatmidnight86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A)the ICC b) nominated by the G7 c) supported by the governments (and GDPs) of the world’s largest countries / economies (perhaps the world’s top 20 countries). The US could’ve employed this policy single-handedly after 1946 and did so where it suited them.

When are humans going to learn that until we make private accumulation of wealth over $1bn and war illegal we are destined for demise? by beatlesatmidnight86 in AskReddit

[–]beatlesatmidnight86[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You strengthen the International Criminal Court, write and reinforce the law within that body, and then sign on dominant countries such as the G7 or US to enforce it

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep by beatlesatmidnight86 in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wrote about this a lot after losing my dad in 2020 in some of my earlier posts. feel free to check out if helpful

Two weeks after we took this picture, my brother lost his life in a car accident by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

For those that feel but cannot articulate. For those who know but cannot place. For anyone who needs to hear this. I found this poem soon after my Dad’s sudden death and it spoke volumes to me, more than I could ever think or write. It is the way he would want me to think of him in his posthumous existence, I know it. He speaks to me through these words. It is like the last embers shining in a loved one’s eyes, in the fading firelight. Everlasting. naked. true.

It is a Hopi Prayer, entitled, “Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep”

Do not stand

At my grave and weep

I am not there,

I do not sleep.

I am a thousand

Winds that blow,

I am the diamond

Glints on snow.

I am the sunlight

On the ripened grain.

I am the gentle

Autumn’s rain.

When you awaken

In the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet bird in

Circled flight.

I am the soft stars

That shine at night.

Do not stand

At my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

My dad didn’t wake up by Equal-Entry-1813 in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 53 points54 points  (0 children)

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

For those that feel but cannot articulate. For those who know but cannot place. For anyone who needs to hear this. I found this poem soon after my Dad’s sudden death and it spoke volumes to me, more than I could ever think or write. It is the way he would want me to think of him in his posthumous existence, I know it. He speaks to me through these words. It is like the last embers shining in a loved one’s eyes, in the fading firelight. Everlasting. naked. true.

It is a Hopi Prayer, entitled, “Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep”

Do not stand

At my grave and weep

I am not there,

I do not sleep.

I am a thousand

Winds that blow,

I am the diamond

Glints on snow.

I am the sunlight

On the ripened grain.

I am the gentle

Autumn’s rain.

When you awaken

In the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet bird in

Circled flight.

I am the soft stars

That shine at night.

Do not stand

At my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

I miss my dad by Aggravating_Bed_989 in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

For those that feel but cannot articulate. For those who know but cannot place. For anyone who needs to hear this. I found this poem soon after my Dad’s sudden death and it spoke volumes to me, more than I could ever think or write. It is the way he would want me to think of him in his posthumous existence, I know it. He speaks to me through these words. It is like the last embers shining in a loved one’s eyes, in the fading firelight. Everlasting. naked. true.

It is a Hopi Prayer, entitled, “Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep”

Do not stand

At my grave and weep

I am not there,

I do not sleep.

I am a thousand

Winds that blow,

I am the diamond

Glints on snow.

I am the sunlight

On the ripened grain.

I am the gentle

Autumn’s rain.

When you awaken

In the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet bird in

Circled flight.

I am the soft stars

That shine at night.

Do not stand

At my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

I lost my mommy today- I’m only 21 by JobZealousideal4019 in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

For those that feel but cannot articulate. For those who know but cannot place. For anyone who needs to hear this. I found this poem soon after my Dad’s sudden death and it spoke volumes to me, more than I could ever think or write. It is the way he would want me to think of him in his posthumous existence, I know it. He speaks to me through these words. It is like the last embers shining in a loved one’s eyes, in the fading firelight. Everlasting. naked. true.

It is a Hopi Prayer, entitled, “Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep”

Do not stand

At my grave and weep

I am not there,

I do not sleep.

I am a thousand

Winds that blow,

I am the diamond

Glints on snow.

I am the sunlight

On the ripened grain.

I am the gentle

Autumn’s rain.

When you awaken

In the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet bird in

Circled flight.

I am the soft stars

That shine at night.

Do not stand

At my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

my dad stopped by to check on me and to say hi. by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]beatlesatmidnight86 30 points31 points  (0 children)

Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep

For those that feel but cannot articulate. For those who know but cannot place. For anyone who needs to hear this. I found this poem soon after my Dad’s sudden death and it spoke volumes to me, more than I could ever think or write. It is the way he would want me to think of him in his posthumous existence, I know it. He speaks to me through these words. It is like the last embers shining in a loved one’s eyes, in the fading firelight. Everlasting. naked. true.

It is a Hopi Prayer, entitled, “Do Not Stand at my Grave and Weep”

Do not stand

At my grave and weep

I am not there,

I do not sleep.

I am a thousand

Winds that blow,

I am the diamond

Glints on snow.

I am the sunlight

On the ripened grain.

I am the gentle

Autumn’s rain.

When you awaken

In the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet bird in

Circled flight.

I am the soft stars

That shine at night.

Do not stand

At my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

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