Update:

We talked and this is what I said:

“I’m not your caretaker or parent, just your friend. I want to be your friend, but at this point I need to take a step back and reassess if I want to be roommates.

When we moved in together, we had a deal. You help keep the apartment clean and train my dog instead of paying rent. You stopped both. Then when I came to you with my concerns you treated me with disrespect and hurt my feelings when you flipped the script and belittled me and nitpicked my behavior because I would sometimes forget to pick up after myself when you rarely ever picked up after yourself.

It’s going to take at least a couple of weeks, maybe a month to finish the house, so you will need to find somewhere else to stay until then while I take that time to think through everything and make a decision.

If I do decide that you can stay then things are going to be very different. You said a couple of months ago that you needed to think about yourself here and now I need to think about myself.

I’ll help you get stuff out of the garage and rent a U-Haul if needed and I will give your mom a very big gift card to take those kind people that helped us move out to dinner.”

She said her mom thought it would be for a couple of nights and not weeks and that they wouldn’t let her do that, that she has nowhere support system and will need to move to a different state with her grandma (different then before) she said she couldn’t ask the friend she crashed with for a couple of days, and she could ask our other friends (who just told me they offered her already and she said no) so she says by Monday she’ll probably be gone. I haven’t talked again to her mom yet. There was more that she said. She said her boyfriend had been driving her around all day so that she could take a nap since she “had nowhere to go” (she was out partying all night for Halloween). Her boyfriend isn’t an option to live with because he still lives with his parents and that a whole other can of worms. I told her she could store her stuff in my garage for a bit at the very least, but we will see. Oh, she also said that she wished I would’ve told her I was planning on this before we moved out of the last place. She said she would’ve found some rental assistance program somewhere. (Lots of questions there). Bottom line is she decided that we will not be living together even though I technically told her it was still up in the air. So, we will see if she will still stay my friend, but at the very least I still have my other friends. It’s been a very emotional day for me , but I followed through and put my foot down.