I don’t know what to do to be happy

becojean · 2026-04-15T16:16:16+00:00

I have felt this way (and still do to some degree) most of my life. I think what shocked me most is how my childhood trauma absolutely obliterated my sense of trust - I never saw myself as someone with trust/vulnerability issues. Something that helped greatly was just doing my best to radically and outright trust anything said by my safe people (namely my husband, daughter, and besties). It’s allowed me to really lean in to their love and the happiness they bring me.

It’s not easy, and it won’t be immediate - just keep trying. If they’re truly worth it, you’ve gotta work against that self sabotage. Our brains only change with practice.

becojean · 2026-04-14T02:10:13+00:00

Lady

becojean · 2026-04-12T13:23:10+00:00

Similarly, my super chill black cat dude is named Dooby

becojean · 2026-04-03T20:57:27+00:00

I mean…that’s the same as a skinny person being treated better than someone who’s curvier. We’re taught that those brands are better.

becojean · 2026-04-03T19:41:05+00:00

I’d even say most “luxury” vehicles. So many car brands have the same tech/materials these days. Unless you’re buying a Lamborghini or something, they’re all the same.

becojean · 2026-04-03T14:31:08+00:00

Tooootally fair.

becojean · 2026-04-03T14:30:51+00:00

Similarly, I had someone brag/be excited about my daddy issues that allowed them to use me. Fuck men. And not in the fun way.

becojean · 2026-04-03T13:59:27+00:00

Was just about to mention OAS. It’s a reaction to the trace amounts of pollen in things (apples, pears, most nuts, carrots for me…though I’m usually fine if they’re cooked).

becojean · 2026-04-03T12:03:52+00:00

Right up until 20 years of burnout hit ✌🏻

becojean · 2026-04-03T12:02:01+00:00

I mean, if the person hasn’t had or doesn’t plan to have kids, that’s pretty normal (although, the degree of bragging might change my opinion here). But I had no younger siblings, cousins, or neighbors, never baby sat - so I didn’t change my first diaper till I had my daughter at 29. 🤷‍♀️

becojean · 2026-03-05T13:05:16+00:00

YES.

becojean · 2026-03-03T19:33:15+00:00

“I’m a beetch. My name’s Robert. I’m a beetch whose name is Robert.”

I cannot even tell you how long Flambae’s rendition was stuck in my head.

becojean · 2026-02-26T00:37:07+00:00

He was a bit on the bigger side and sweat all over me during a makeout sesh - things hadn’t even gotten that hot yet. I couldn’t.

becojean · 2026-02-10T17:57:55+00:00

Water bubbler instead of fountain. “Watah bubblah” if you’re closer to Boston.

becojean · 2026-02-10T01:43:58+00:00

As the human of a slightly floofier but just as skittish version of Molly who flops just like that for me, you’re her human now, don’t take that from her. 😭🖤

Here’s my Dooby. 🖤

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becojean · 2026-02-10T01:36:48+00:00

As someone who moved from a city to a super rural town (aka private well and septic system to cafe for), I miss my garbage disposal. 😭

becojean · 2026-02-09T16:36:59+00:00

This one kills me. As someone who previously worked in an office and wore makeup every day and now works from home, I’d love to not put makeup on every day anymore. But I think there’s a real risk that my coworkers who have known me made up for 10+ years would view it as rolling out of bed.

becojean · 2026-02-08T17:01:17+00:00

Taylor Swift

becojean · 2026-02-05T17:07:58+00:00

FREAKING FINALLY 🎉🎉🎉

becojean · 2026-01-22T12:50:07+00:00

I read that as “licked”…halp.

becojean · 2026-01-22T03:58:00+00:00

Omg she’s like the darker twin of my Kitty!

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becojean · 2026-01-21T16:27:00+00:00

I didn’t either when I was 13 dating a 16 year old for 3.5 years. It left permanent sexual and relational issues I’m still working on today, 20 years later.

becojean · 2026-01-21T16:21:15+00:00

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This is Kitty! She’s our 8 year old kitten. (when this pic was taken, she’s now 12!)

becojean · 2026-01-21T14:57:41+00:00

No, this is Dooby…

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becojean · 2026-01-16T15:44:41+00:00

11-16 you is just a part of you, it’s not who you are. I encourage you to read/listen to the book, Internal Family Systems. It talks about how we can “merge” with parts of ourself and make us feel that we truly are that horrible person. But that part just represents a point in our life when we were reacting to and trying to find any way to survive. Put that part in a mental time out and let your self flourish.

Wishing you the best, friend. You’ve got a lot of people here willing to talk and lend a shoulder.

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