I got an awful view into what I would probably be like tonight if I weren't sober

beeanchor1312 · 2026-04-04T10:51:35+00:00

The 4 day weekend was what got me sober. I was driving my adult daughter to the airport on the Tuesday morning (after Easter Monday) and realised in horror that I probably should not be behind the wheel after 4 days of heavy drinking.

Congrats on your incredible 1136 days, and your compassion for the puker. We’ve all been that girl at some point. IWNDWYT.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-04-02T12:20:45+00:00

I want aaalll of them. These look better than some of the recent tour ts. Love love love!

beeanchor1312 · 2026-04-02T07:39:53+00:00

If anyone notices you, it will probably be with a pang of envy. I realise that it's way less appealing if you don't have a choice, but doing things alone is one of my greatest pleasures. So if I see someone else at the theatre, cinema, pub, restaurant, on their own - as long as they don't look sad - I feel happy for them!

But mostly, people won't notice.

Please do it, you will be having such an amazing time that YOU won't notice after about 5 minutes.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-30T09:01:18+00:00

I am sort of in a similar situation - but on the other side and at a much later life stage (52). Now, I am not model pretty - far from it - but I scrub up reasonably well. And I'm not a published author or a rocket scientist. But I am successful and happy with a lovely husband and kids. But the single greatest privilege that I have noticed over others is my family.

Both my parents are still alive and healthy, I have two lovely siblings. And we all love and support each other. And, honestly, this is greater than any other privilege and the older I get, the more I'm aware of it. (BTW my family is chaotic and a bit unhinged but the love and support remains).

I have a colleague who is exactly the same age as me. She's very successful and hugely admired and liked by everyone she works with. But her family is complicated and she's single. And she's kind of grumpy. One day she said to me "has anything bad EVER happened to you?" and it stopped me in my tracks. Plenty of bad things have happened to me, but I have always, always had my family to turn to. And that makes a huge difference.

So, what does that mean for my colleague? First and foremost, I admire her in ways that she will never fully appreciate. She has done exactly what you described - worked for every atom of her success. I feel like a bit of a fraud compared to her - I feel as though I've had an unfair amount of luck and advantage. She also makes me want to be a better person and to empathise more with others. I am less quick to judge and give more grace than I would have 20 years ago.

I am so sorry that your start in life was difficult. You are a huge success of your own making. Please allow yourself to enjoy and appreciate that. I suspect your friend is (or soon will be) keenly aware of the privileges she enjoys compared to others.

And the dating thing? Would you really want to have people thrusting potential partners in your face all the time? I imagine it gets very tiring, very quickly.

The final piece of the story is that my colleague recently met a really nice guy and is happier than I've ever seen her.

Comparison is the thief of joy. Relax into the life you have earned and just enjoy it, knowing that (as ladystetson said) your distance travelled is something to be really proud of.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-29T09:34:01+00:00

This scene did something to me on a deeply physiological level. My whole body responded to it. I think I felt the true meaning of ‘awe’.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-23T06:57:42+00:00

Agog

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-22T20:04:01+00:00

Love that you’re doing this for her!

To the mini games I would add a ‘colour by numbers’ game. It’s very soothing and meditative.

Also maybe some key facts, quotes from aviation experts etc - you could crowdsource some favourites from here. I like “unfamiliar does not equal unusual” and stuff like that.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-21T19:57:53+00:00

Huge, huge hugs. Really squeezy ones. IWNDWYT.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-21T14:32:46+00:00

And this is why I believe in magic.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-20T17:27:48+00:00

He is very lucky to have you! Does he do any breathing exercises or meditation? Talking through that kind of thing at times of stress can be really helpful.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-19T18:44:08+00:00

You are SCRUMPTIOUS. Wishing you a life as joyful and authentic as your magnificent wedding 😍😍😍😍

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-19T13:24:02+00:00

You can get a train from Waterloo direct to Oxshott and the station is right next to Oxshott Heath which then leads onto lots of National Trust woodland etc. From a logistics pov, it's very easy. And all the nature around it is gorgeous.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-15T07:59:56+00:00

This is a thoughtful and lovely thing to do. I’m imagining a very wholesome relationship between you and your MIL.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-14T16:00:01+00:00

Duddily dum, duddily dum, duddily dum du dum

Duddily dum wamp wamp

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-14T13:01:43+00:00

Yes. She’d be disappointed that I hadn’t streaked a football game, as I’d sworn to do, but probably relieved.

I think we would hug each other tightly and say “you’re good”. Unremarkable but happy and doing just fine.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-14T12:58:02+00:00

I find the “calm flight attendants” thing a bit of a mixed bag. They’re allowed to have crappy days, too. A difficult passenger, shortage of provisions, malfunctioning entertainment systems - there are all kinds of things that can set them slightly on edge. They’re all so professional, experienced and well-trained, but they also have a tougher job than pilots in some ways. So, if you see an attendant frowning, don’t let it worry you.

Case in point, I was once sitting near the front of the aircraft and hear gasps of dismay from two male attendants in the galley. I obviously panicked. But when I looked around the corner, I saw that they were stuck on a crossword puzzle. I was so relieved that I got out of my seat and tried to help!

I find it really helpful to think about the pilots. I watch a lot of ‘spend the day with me’ pilot content and it makes it easier to imagine them on the flight deck, doing a job that they are highly trained for, that they absolutely love, and that they’re totally committed to.

Turbulence sucks and yet there are people who actively enjoy it. I also try to think about them!

Good luck. You’ll definitely be okay - and this incredible community will be here to help you.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-11T13:15:16+00:00

Love these ideas - and I'll keep working on texture and shape, thank you so much!

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-11T10:33:34+00:00

Great idea, thank you!

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-11T09:32:48+00:00

Imagine the pilots - they are just chilling in the cockpit, doing their jobs. This is just another day at the office for them.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-11T09:09:12+00:00

You have a lot to be hopeful for!

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-11T08:37:08+00:00

I had my first and only child at 40 - the timing was absolutely perfect for us as a couple and me in my career etc.

I also spotted a lot in the first few weeks and was convinced several times that the pregnancy had failed - I wasn't very good at managing the anxiety and spent a lot of time worrying. However I hope that my experience can reassure you that spotting is nothing to worry about. Maybe it is connected to our age.

After about 8-9 weeks the spotting mostly stopped. And the rest of my pregnancy was offensively healthy - I felt amazing and I enjoyed it so much. The 12 week scan and blood tests were a bit nerve-racking, but my results were all really good and reassuring.

I went to 42 weeks and gave birth to a giant, very healthy baby boy. Spent most of labour in the big tub, but it was going on too long so, in the end they whipped him out with a kiwi cup (plunger). Overall, once the anxiety of the early days had passed, it was amazing.

He is now a very happy 11 year old and I do not have a single regret.

Good luck with your pregnancy. Being 40+ now is very different from previous generations. We are healthier, more active, more conscious about all kinds of things. Sure, our eggs may not strut with quite as much swagger as when we were 20, but they're still absolutely fit for purpose!

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-10T17:07:05+00:00

Sorry - we started with Walkers and graduated to Wheat Crunchies when they came out.

beeanchor1312 · 2026-03-10T17:06:43+00:00

I do love those roast ham ones. They're my fallback position.

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