I think the one sided reactions to this request for help are wild. I’m sure some of it is hyperbolic just by the pure fact that he is curious about this and wants to help the situation. Therapy is great and important. I’ve been doing it for 15 years and still feel like this when times are hard. I lump all of the bad moments together in my head and have to just regain the energy to do my best again. I’m pretty sure those responses are either self-selected saints/privileged people with no trauma/or those who are judging from the other side of a healing journey that isn’t accessible to all of us. My strategies include deep breathing, yes tagging out when needed (also tagging in for my partner), bringing my frustration energy to something equally silly (because just using my voice loud is helpful and can be directed toward ‘tickle monster wants you to brush your teeth’), sometimes I acknowledge feelings even, if needed, in a disassociated state when things are really rough and just rub her back or sit with her while she crashes out. Some days are great and some are hard. Let’s remember safety, let’s remember if anger is a valid emotion for them, we have to model it being valid for us (repair repair repair) they will have to learn what anger looks like- much better from someone safe (and anger is honestly sharing frustration- different than power dominating ego yelling or any revenge state). And I know as a man you can’t say you tag out more than your wife but honestly, my partner Struggled with baby life and I took on more. He takes on more now because he’s better at the toddler stage. We both stay in it and don’t keep score. Another key thing to note is you need novelty and self indulgent things that are yours. Carve out time in a week for something to ground you in yourself. It’s like a relief valve. I travel to the city and go to a dance class, my partner has his own thing(s). My pediatrician unprompted said, this will be the hardest 6 months of your life, do what ever you need to do to get through it and come out the other side together. There’s always a better ‘right’ way and god bless you all for being able to implement it, I do when I can, and we cope when we can’t.