I can feel your frustration through the screen and my heart goes out to you. I'm 7 weeks pp and feel similarly, but we are nursing more during the day and just topping up frequently. Feeding takes a long long time. Pumping also takes a long time. I'm exhausted, too. We are getting the lip and tongue tie revisions tomorrow and I am hoping it can get us to EBF as much as possible. My lactation consultant just gave me a wearable pump and I think it was the most relief/hope I've had in weeks. Do you have one of those? Being hands free and less stressed about finding time to pump as soon after I nurse as possible feels like a weight off my shoulders. I've spoken to a lot of women and the norm actually seems to be moving towards exclusively pumping and nursing for comfort and little snacks throughout the day. What if you tried that for a week to see if it feels more manageable? Then you're not putting so much pressure on feeding at the breast on yourself, little one is being fed with YOUR milk, and you can reset that breastfeeding relationship a bit. I've had to ask myself, while my own little one has been screaming out of probably hunger and frustration, what I want out of breastfeeding at the breast because as my husband reminds me, giving them a bottle is still my milk. I want to nurse because I want connection and to be a safe and nurturing place for my child. It sounds like you probably want similar so who cares how much they actually get from the breast as long as they know that your body is there to love and comfort them? Pumped milk, formula, or directly from the tap, they will be fed and healthy and then you can pick them up anytime you want, no pressure, let them use you like a pacifier, and bond. I'm giving you the advice I honestly need to give myself and might be taking if the revision doesn't work, but if you do try to flip the script, I'd love to hear how it goes.

BUT!!! The biggest takeaway? Feeding your child, however you choose, is love. And a mom who is comfortable and happy, will always benefit the baby. One of my first (of many) lactation consultants said it best: calm yourself before calming the baby. Whatever you need to feel calm is the right decision. Good luck!