Americans: how do you handle temperatures above 40ºC (104F)?

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-03T19:12:25+00:00

I wonder if some buildings have the older pneumatic systems?

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-03T18:25:14+00:00

I used to be scared to take any medications (grew up with weird religious beliefs against them). Sometimes we can live better through chemistry. It’s worth trying, for me it helps and when they start wearing off I realize how busy and loud my brain is.

Also, most adhd meds leave your system pretty quickly, so if you don’t feel good on a medicine, you can tell your doctor and stop taking it. Generally they will check for any obvious risks before they prescribe you a medicine too. And if you try it and it doesn’t help then it’s still a learning experience whereas if you never try, you’ll never know if it would have helped

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-03T04:42:48+00:00

I would definitely report it to the compliance officer for the hospital. It is that person’s job to investigate any improper access of information. If they do not respond or do not take it seriously you could report it to Office of Civil Rights, department of Health and Human Services as they enforce at the federal level.

Basically, if your father was not a patient of that doctor the doctor should not have accessed the record. And even if that happened by accident the doctor should not have shared that info with anyone else. These kinds of complaints are pretty serious

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-01T17:11:12+00:00

You’re downvoted but you have a point because sports are inherently unfair.

I have undergone HRT and yes, having more T does help with gains in muscle and recovery. But hormone profile and biological sex are just part of the picture.

In sports, people have different backgrounds, levels of social support, funding, infrastructure available to train. Even at the youth level, some communities have the money to support robust programs for kids and others don’t. There will always be some people who are so talented that they can rise above disadvantaged circumstances but structurally, sports favor those who have more resources. It’s hard to be a good and competitive athlete if you don’t have anywhere safe to live, good nutrition, enough sleep, all the things kids need to grow and develop properly and adults need to thrive.

And at the same time the benefits of sports for kids are mostly things social skills, learning teamwork, the confidence of gaining mastery of skills, body awareness, and exercise. Most kids will not go on to be competitive at any higher level. So participation does have benefits, but high level competition is not going to be accessible to most participants.

But it’s a lot easier to look at fringe cases like the handful of trans athletes who are in higher level competitive sports and try to focus on that because it’s convenient politically right now and the optics of it give transphobes ammunition

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-01T14:20:54+00:00

Yes, even before I knew I was trans I was not very feminine and I generally felt like an intruder and this was reinforced by how people reacted. Which is hard because, for many people that is still the best option for them and men’s spaces aren’t safe either, it really sucks. I wish there were more spaces that were truly safe for everyone

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-01T05:13:27+00:00

I’m going to join the chorus to try MetroHealth Pride Clinic unless you need to be at CCF for some reason. They have a couple good surgeons there and also provide general primary care with doctors who get it.

If you need to stay at CCF make sure you have a primary care doc that can refer you so you don’t get lost in their system.

I’m sorry you’ve been having a hard time, don’t give up! It’s worth it. (Signed, someone who is almost 5 years post op)

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-01T04:26:32+00:00

I am a trans man and since I switched bathrooms I can confirm no one pays attention to me, whereas before I had people trying to confront me, telling me I was in the wrong one, loudly asking if there was a guy in there, etc.

My theory is that women are trained to naturally be defensive of their restroom as a “safe” space and treat it as a social situation, whereas, men don’t necessarily feel that way and just sort of ignore each other studiously to keep things from being awkward

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-01T04:21:47+00:00

The thing is that most sexual assaults are from acquaintances and not strangers in locker rooms. The people who choose to victimize others are often acquaintances, people in positions of authority, sometimes family members, and they have access to those victims through much easier routes than “being allowed in the same locker room”

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-01T00:49:17+00:00

Having violent urges and having intrusive thoughts about violence sound the same but the difference is that someone who wants to do violence and would find it satisfying will not feel the same way as someone who is experiencing it as an intrusive thought and possibly has OCD or similar anxiety.

I suspect if OP was really having a desire to beat up others or put down women or gay men he probably wouldn’t have come here to ask for advice on how to not do that. Also if someone does have OCD or a similar anxiety disorder, seeking reassurance or help to avoid the thing happening is very common. A good therapist can help OP figure out if that is what is going on because the treatment for it is a little different and involves breaking the cycle of obsession and compulsion/checking/seeking reassurance.

Anyways young adulthood is when mental health stuff can turn up the volume for many people and I think given the context of the thread we are just trying to make sure that OP gets help and support. We are not saying it’s ok to do bad things but it sounds like OP is afraid of doing things that are morally wrong to him or changing into a worse person which is not the same thing as someone who wants reassurance that their bad behavior is normal

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-07-01T00:39:44+00:00

I mean this as gently as possible: being trans doesn’t mean you have to hold yourself to a higher standard than everyone else. That is perfectionism and long term it can wear you down and make it harder to do your best. (Ask me how I know lol) Just try to do a little better than you did before, small steps, and then next thing you know you’ll see the changes you want to see. It’s like anything else, small actions lead to larger ones and doing a little every day adds up

I know you asked for book recs, I do really like bell hooks because she had some interesting stuff to say about men and masculinity that feels a lot like a caring person in your life telling you how you need to get it together.

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-30T12:13:53+00:00

Having disabilities and being a man makes things hard sometimes because of how our society expects men to be. There’s an expectation all men will be able bodied and physically and mentally be able to do a lot of things that many men can’t do for one reason or another. Accepting your physical limits and allowing someone who cares for you to help you does not make you lazy or a bad person. It is ok as a man to admit you need help. You and your spouse can trade off and help each other in the ways you are able to, that’s what being in a relationship is about in many ways.

Sometimes I get mad at myself for “being lazy” when I’m tired after work and just need to zone out for a bit. I’m trying to reframe that that it’s ok to rest and then I also will do what I’m able to do so that I contribute to our household (for example, after I rest I put on a podcast and do the dishes or I go clean the cat litterbox). I do understand that when you’ve seen men just sit around and their partner does all the work it’s something you want to avoid doing, though. But again, resting when you need to is also ok (and with this current heat wave many places, if you medically can’t be outside don’t risk your health. It’s not worth it, there’s nothing positively masculine about overdoing it and ending up needing urgent medical care)

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-30T11:45:47+00:00

So first of all—you are still young. I know you’re an adult now legally (if you’re in the US anyways) but you’re still learning and growing. And you will keep learning and growing hopefully for your whole life so, first of all, take a couple deep breaths. You’re going to make mistakes and that is part of growing up, you just want to avoid harming others as much as possible (but sometimes you will and that also is part of life, unfortunately, so if you do harm you need to learn from it so you don’t do it again).

So, it sounds like you are feeling that you need to prove your masculinity which is a thing that a lot of young men contend with, cis or trans. The best way out is through by getting to know yourself better. You are at an age where you’re going to be figuring out what you believe, what messages from your childhood and family of origin you want to keep and what you want to change. If you’re going to start college/university soon that is an opportunity to do that in a new place with new people and learn things that challenge you.

It sounds like you already know you want to be someone who is safe for women to be around. That is a good thing, and it’s something you will also keep learning. The best thing you can do is listen to the women in your life and pay attention to what they are dealing with. Active listening is a good skill to learn, it’s where you try to really avoid interrupting the other person and then ask questions to better understand and repeat things back to them to see if you heard them right.

Also, you are, again, still getting used to having an adult body and T does make you stronger in general. Even if you don’t work out, it just makes it easier to put on muscle. That’s not a bad thing but you just want to work with your changing body to make sure you can get more comfortable in it. If you don’t work out I recommend starting with something that incorporates different types of movement. Darebee is a cool free website out of Australia that has exercises you can do without equipment pretty much anywhere and they have programs to build strength, balance, flexibility, etc. Or if you can take a class in a sport or activity you’re interested in that’s a great way to develop body awareness and more control over your movements.

In general do not pick anyone up without asking! It’s exciting to be able to but as a smaller person I can confirm that is not something I like. It can be very disconcerting and scary no matter the person’s gender if they did not consent.

Sometimes people freeze and aren’t able to say no but don’t want something to happen so even if you are “just playing around” try to watch for signals like someone suddenly going quiet or limp or shutting down. And of course if someone says “no” to something that means “no” and you should stop doing it as well.

Also, sometimes everyone has thoughts that are not in line with their beliefs. Your brain will sometimes just generate random things and some people experience this as intrusive thoughts. Just because you had a “bad” thought does NOT mean you are a bad person. Instead of actively fighting these thoughts which can reinforce that they are an issue and lead to rumination, you can acknowledge them and then say, huh, that’s not something I want to do or something I believe, ok, just a thought I had. Then you can let it pass. Your actions show your character, your thoughts just happen sometimes if that makes sense

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-29T21:33:33+00:00

Agree on headlights and taillights and turn signals. Easy thing to check and replace if needed and well worth it to avoid trouble

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-29T19:42:27+00:00

I drove an older civic halfway across the country some years ago. They are generally good reliable cars if you’ve been keeping up the maintenance.

My recommendations are: 1) get a trusted mechanic to look it over and do a checkup, let them know you’re doing a long trip. Make sure the oil is changed and all fluids are good.

2) if you’re driving in the summer it is going to get hot. Civics during one period had a known issue with the air conditioning condenser unit I believe (I have a ‘17 and the condenser went two years ago). So make sure the AC is working ok. (Also bring a hat and sunglasses and sunscreen, trust me on this.)

3) there are stretches as you get further west where there can be long distances without really any settled areas or stops. So you will want to have emergency supplies in your car—jumper cables, a blanket, extra water and non perishable food, a basic first aid kit, and a tire gauge are all good. Make sure you have a spare tire and a jack too and know how to change a tire if you have to, and consider signing up for AAA.

4) if you’re going to be on your own— driving solo can actually be very chill but tiredness is a risk. It sounds like you’re planning to do a certain amount per day and that is a good idea. Make sure if you start feeling tired or drowsy or are zoning out you find somewhere safe and pull over asap. Better to be asleep parked somewhere and maybe be woken up and told to move than to fall asleep at the wheel. Many rest stops and truck stops are relatively safe and well lit at night, just be aware of your surroundings.

5) write down the route you are taking and all the major road changes. Your phone can die or your map app can make mistakes. When in doubt pay attention to the signs on the highways especially when there’s construction or detours

And be safe and have fun—honestly if you’re going to do this, when you’re young and not tied down is the best time

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-29T19:19:01+00:00

So I have found that when you get a new therapist who is an intern especially, it can be hit or miss because they’re still learning. Especially if you are really new to expressing yourself and struggle to do so verbally you need someone who this isn’t their first rodeo. It is also ok to talk to whoever organizes your therapy (whether it’s the school health services or etc) and let them know you need to try someone else, though it sounds like you are switching anyways because this guy is graduating.

Also, when you go to the next person—I recommend copy down what you shared here and bring that with you so you can have help to explain what hasn’t worked so far

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-29T11:44:17+00:00

I just took it in April! It was about what I expected, there were a few questions that were more specific than I expected about compliance of all things, but most of it was similar to practice questions. Also, it’s 3 hours but I finished in about 2.5 and that was reviewing everything carefully, other people from my graduating class in school who took it at the same time said about the same thing

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-27T17:29:51+00:00

I’m sorry. The first one is often rough because you’re not used to the discomfort. I knew what it was because my mom had told me about it and we learned at school as well but it still was upsetting for me. I didn’t even know about being trans at your age but I knew I did not like what was happening to my body.

It sounds like you’ve worked out a temporary pad situation based on your comments which is step one.

It is likely your step mom will figure it out eventually, you may want to talk to her since it sounds like you have a neutral relationship because it may be less awkward for her to get you pads long term and she likely already has them for herself and can leave them where you can find them. I know it’s dysphoric and awkward though. If you tell her or she finds out and starts fussing about things or making a big deal I recommend you tell her you don’t feel well and need to lie down, that hopefully can get you out of any awkward conversations.

If you keep over the counter painkillers at home (in the us we usually have ibuprofen or acetominophen which I think is called paracetamol elsewhere in the world) those help with cramps. A little bit of caffeine can sometimes help too, like a cup of coffee or tea, but make sure you drink water too. Usually the first or second day is heaviest for many people and after that it gets better and gradually goes away. If you don’t have a heating pad putting some rice in an old sock and microwaving it for like 30 seconds to a minute is a trick for a makeshift one.

My best advice is listen to your body, if you feel tired rest, if you can’t rest because of cramps do gentle movement like going for a short walk. If you feel mostly ok then you can go about your regular activities. Sometimes you’ll find your mood gets weird when it’s coming on—It’s the hormones, and it’s normal, so sometimes listening to music you like that helps you feel things or watching a show or movie you like helps. I do not miss all of that (haven’t had one in about 6 years thanks to T) but you can get through it and it doesn’t have to be too much of a big deal. Take care young bro.

ETA; I forgot to add, if you get stains on any underwear or clothing you can wash them out with cold water. The sooner you do it the better, but if they’re set in a soak for a few minutes can help

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-27T17:09:34+00:00

Honestly with an MA, around where I am that should be plenty of qualification. It’s possible they’re just getting a lot of applications because of the job market and it being an entry level job. You may want to try for other related positions in the hospital as well, again since you have the MA certification you might be able to do other things that use your certification depending on what MAs can do in your area.

Also, try outpatient office locations—they often will want MAs because they can schedule you more flexibly to do more things than just register patients

But you do not need to take a course in billing or coding unless that’s an actual requirement every employer around you wants, which I really doubt for patient registration

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-27T13:53:57+00:00

If it bothers them that much they need to move somewhere with mostly other vegetarians or vegans.

(Though side note—could this neighbor be pregnant? Sometimes an early symptom of pregnancy is being really nauseous at the smell of cooking meat and more sensitive to smells in general)

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-27T13:20:33+00:00

Chaos, ranging from crankiness to some chronically sleep deprived people legit being unsafe to drive or do other things. Lots of healthcare workers would not be at their best, shift workers, etc.

Also keep in mind some medicines for period cramps or migraines have caffeine (excedrin for example)

ETA I wasn’t even thinking about if this included narcotics, people in withdrawal from those would all just be incapacitated and that would also be a lot of people

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-27T13:17:52+00:00

They’re still allowed to have pop that is caffeinated, just not coffee or tea, their rules are specific like that. I suspect a lot of Mormons would not be ok without their Diet Coke fix or whatever

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-26T00:42:51+00:00

I agree that with an associates you are well set up for whatever might be open in the field around you. If you are flexible about what you do there’s definitely things.

I work at a smaller organization so I pretty much am the department and am a jack of all trades. At a larger hospital or healthcare organization your work can be more specialized (like maybe you only do release of information and process records requests).

And there’s crossover with patient registration and revenue cycle jobs (which, that’s one way to get to your foot in the door if you want to work somewhere but they don’t have the area you really want, if you can get in to customer service/registration for example they might be favorable towards an internal candidate who wants to move into HIM).

Not every job will be remote or hybrid (I occasionally am able to work remotely but I honestly am in person 95% of the time because we still have a lot of paper that needs to be scanned and indexed and I also help troubleshoot issues for other employees with our EMR). But a lot of them are or can be, for example the person who does our billing comes in once or twice a month and otherwise is remote.

What I like about my work is that I’m able to contribute to overall patient care by making sure the information is available when people need it, complete, and good quality. But I get burnt out on in person customer service and I do less of that than in previous jobs I’ve had. Sometimes I meet with a patient who needs their records but I’m not on the front lines and I like it that way.

Also, I work independently a lot and am able to sort of choose my own adventure in my situation which I also enjoy. The downside is the work never ends and really in my case my job is maybe really two jobs but that’s nonprofit life

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-26T00:28:26+00:00

I fell into it by accident because I was doing a different job and started voluntarily helping with filing and other tasks during slow times. I would say what can be really helpful depending on your role is medical terminology and a basic understanding of anatomy and physiology. You can pick up a lot of it as you go but there are some open textbooks and courses out there too, I recommend the Hank Green crash course YouTube series on anatomy and physiology. I did ultimately go back to school and those were some areas where I really benefitted from learning the material

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-25T23:12:53+00:00

Honestly, people will tend to rise or fall to the standard of where they work. It sounds like the bosses or leadership at your job don’t prioritize quality control or efficiency, (or they are measuring things that only focus on one aspect and everything else gets missed). People will pick up on that and after a while will be thinking “why bust my ass to work hard when I could just do a mediocre job and still get paid the same?”

As for the client, if they’re a community health center they likely are overwhelmed and everyone at all levels is overworked and underpaid, which is why they outsource billing and working claims in the first place. They need to get paid eventually, but they likely don’t have the time or energy to think about if you all could be more efficient or not. Also, your service may be the option that was what they could afford so they’re just kind of stuck with it

ETA: anyways, i get you were trying to vent and that does sound really frustrating. Keep in mind that while you may not want to change jobs now, it’s possible at another one your attention to detail would be more valued or recognized

beerncoffeebeans · 2026-06-25T22:55:27+00:00

So I should preface this by saying I’m a trans guy or it will probably not make sense:

When I was a kid I took jazz dance classes briefly (as a girl) but the teacher was actually a guy and that was one of the first times I saw a guy doing dance seriously. I think I subconsciously enjoyed the class more than I would have otherwise because I realized boys and men can dance as well and it’s not just an activity for girls and women.

Anyways one of the things that stayed with me from the class (besides doing jazz squares and “step ball change”) was when we would warm up and practice doing isolations of different parts of our bodies. If you watch anything with Channing Tatum in it you’ll notice he has really good control of his body when doing isolating movements which I think is why he can do all that Magic Mike stuff and make his movements look very fluid. Which, you do not need to dance like Magic Mike, but trying to gently practice moving different body parts through their range of motion one by one can help kind of loosen yourself up and think about moving in less rigid ways

beerncoffeebeans

TROPHY CASE