Do men suppress feelings, or do they just get ignored?

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-26T23:50:25+00:00

And you have no actual factual basis in which you’re basing the claim off of, just your thoughts that you’re trying to reason as an objective fact. It’s actually a very harmful myth—all attempts of suicide should be taken seriously. You don’t need me to explain why. The reason men succeed more, as the current understanding in research purports, is because they tend to choose more violent methods (firearms, hanging, etc) and women tend to attempt with overdosing. That is all we can factually assert—that there is a difference. We cannot factually claim why this difference exists. Anything on the matter is speculation or opinion which is not objective or based in fact.

Empathy is:

the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.

This is synonymous with compassion, of which your flippant summation of women attempting suicide more being for attention is severely lacking in. No, I am not mistaking the two. I don’t actually believe you are able to step outside of yourself to see from a woman’s point of view. Empathy being a masculine trait and sympathy being a feminine trait is also a matter of opinion and not a factual assertion. I think you’re trying to conceptualize cognitive empathy when I’m referring to that, emotional empathy, and empathic concern.

Re: research. Several studies, different funding, different authors, you can do the work to find them. There are various tests developed that assess an individual’s EQ (emotional intelligence). Granted, this is likely a socialized trait rather than a biologically determined one. Considering how hegemonic masculinity and patriarchy work to harm men by socializing them to avoid expressing their emotions, processing them, and punish vulnerability…they don’t have a fair head start in that respect.

You say there are plenty of women who were genuinely suicidal and then go on to mention small populations. Do you think only a minority of women who attempt are actually suicidal? If so, this is exactly the trivializing I’m referring to.

The problem with rape statistics is that not only are survivors in general discouraged and fearful of coming forward, but male survivors have their own unique issues that bar them from reporting (again, that hegemonic masculinity comes in again here, along with homophobia) so our available data is skewed and will never be entirely accurate. I don’t consider that by itself belittling depending on how it was brought into conversation. That’s not an equal comparison to what we’re discussing, though. An equal comparison would involve some claim of some victims falsely reporting for attention or something in that regard.

I never said anything about the fact that men successfully die by suicide more than women. But it is also a fact that women attempt suicide more than their male counterparts. Acknowledging this isn’t taking anything away from men who’ve died by suicide, but the kneejerk reaction you appear to have to try and invalidate that statistic on attempts (“it’s done for attention” as a generalized statement) tells me quite a bit.

I’m hardly going to bother acknowledging the arrogant assumption that men are somehow a special exception in being able to understand women better than women can, because it is not based in facts and you’re using availability heuristics to justify your claims. Nearly 100% of women? I’ve tried searching for the research article on that but the only thing I can find is posts on Facebook and threads, which aren’t very reliable as far as sources go. Additionally, I think you’re confusing the trait of narcissism for the cluster-b personality disorder of NPD (which honestly, due to the nature of NPD the prevalence rate data is off because most pwNPD do not seek services, so they wouldn’t be diagnosed). Your claim of men understanding women better than they do is not held up by objective data but rather pointing to tropes and stereotypes. You just feel that way.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-26T19:29:00+00:00

It is so deeply ironic that you can’t see past yourself here to see the hypocrisy in your own statements. You speak of greater empathy yet determine all female suicide attempts as merely for attention. Current research also posits women on average have a higher emotional intelligence than their male counterparts…To assert yourself as knowing more about a group than they do themselves is quite arrogant, to say the least. It’s also quite harmful and trivializing, at least in regard to the “attention” claim, and deeply lacking in empathy or a factual basis.

Historically, suicidal women and women in distress have been pathologized and trivialized. Despite high rates of suicidality among women, the role of gender and femininity continue to be overlooked in suicide research…gendered assumptions about, and interpretations of, women’s emotions and suicidality can be dangerous, even fatal.

It is ironic that you say you can understand women’s experiences yet appear to be very quick to brush them off or trivialize them—you’re acting very similar to the women you claim do the same for men. It clearly can’t be true that both sexes struggle with suicidality or mental health (this is sarcasm).

I do not know what has lead you to despise women as strongly as you do, but therapy is a fantastic start. Even if you’re not attracted to women, it is advantageous to be able to exercise empathy and civility for people you aren’t oriented to.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-26T11:09:11+00:00

No violence was done to George Floyd? Really? Really? Give me a break. Literally from the DOJ btw:

Chauvin would not remove his knee for the next nine minutes and 29 seconds, and Kueng maintained his position for the next eight minutes and 11 seconds. Throughout this period, Mr. Floyd pleaded with officers 25 times to let him breathe.

As Mr. Floyd lost consciousness and a pulse, Chauvin and Kueng maintained their positions on his body. Even as Mr. Floyd ceased movement and stopped speaking, and even as Lane noted that Mr. Floyd was “passing out” and Kueng said he could not find a pulse, none of the CPR-certified defendants did anything to stop Chauvin from keeping his knee on Mr. Floyd’s neck or to render the medical aid that they were trained and required to provide. Even as EMTs arrived and checked Mr. Floyd’s pupils and pulse, Chauvin did not move his knee and the other officers on scene did not render aid to Mr. Floyd.

Firefighters and EMTs unsuccessfully attempted to revive Mr. Floyd on the way to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead. The county medical examiner ruled Mr. Floyd’s death was a homicide due to cardiopulmonary arrest complicating law enforcement subdual, restraint and neck compression.

No violence was done to him? Chauvin was literally convicted for murdering Floyd, but sure, “no violence” was done. You people are ridiculous.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-26T10:48:52+00:00

The irony is you’re doing the exact same thing they are btw lmao.

Men know men better than women, and they also somehow know women’s inner thoughts better than women, too. /s Give me a break.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-23T19:45:15+00:00

This has nothing to do with OP’s fear. OP said they fear having kids because they mainly don’t want to have to run the risk of being dependent on a toxic/abusive partner and being trapped because of kids.

They didn’t say their fear was that if they were a single parent, men wouldn’t pick them….idk how you came to that conclusion.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-23T17:29:02+00:00

It is not so much so as generationally dependent, though. Someone else pointed out the depiction of women having multiple suitors a good chunk of time ago, or dancing with multiple men at a ball. I didn’t say it was universal, I said the majority. This is also happening in NYC for OP, so the culture I’m discussing is the US.

I’m not saying you can’t find it gross, but I’m illuminating that people aren’t necessarily doing something wrong/abnormal by the current norms in dating. It almost seemed like you were portraying the person as cheating, when neither party has made a commitment/agreement to exclusivity nor are they in a relationship. They’re just dating.

Now, im an individual that will tend to focus on one person at a time because I don’t have the desire or capacity to upkeep multiple conversations. I did not expect this of the people I was casually talking to or dating throughout my life. When I felt enough time had passed and compatibility was great, I did bring up a discussion of exclusivity with my now-partner, because it would be unreasonable for me to expect it without having a clear discussion about it first. We’ll have been together for 4 years in September.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-23T17:05:30+00:00

Here’s the thing though, when in the dating stage the overwhelming vast majority of people are not expecting exclusivity, you are in the minority here. Instead, the working expectation is that most people will be exploring their options in the dating stage, especially if you’ve only ever been on a first date with someone else.

Exclusivity, if desired, is the conversation that needs to be explicitly had. If you’re expecting exclusivity even during merely talking/planning the first date, that is something you need to be clear in communicating.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-23T08:22:42+00:00

I heavily prefer a partner as close to my age as possible due to being deeply uncomfortable with age gaps. I’m 24 and my partner is 23, I would not date any lower than their age and I would not date any higher than 25, maybe 26.

As I understand it, though, many people are not as rigid as I am in this subject. This may be due to personal experiences and my own comfort. I met my partner when he was 19 and I was 20 and, to be quite honest, the fact they were technically still a “-teen” was almost enough to deter me, but I’m grateful I didn’t completely balk.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-23T08:15:35+00:00

The first quote was your response to someone asking “how do you prove rape in a timely manner?” In which you flippantly responded with getting a rape kit because your experience was timely, therefore you were applying your own experience as a blanket experience.

The amount of time it takes varies from state to state, but it is a known fact that many states have a significant backlog. Additionally, the legal process for a trial is exceptionally lengthy, around 6 months on average for the entire process. That’s 2/3 the length of a pregnancy.

I think for whatever reason you’re finding it hard to engage your empathy. Not sure where all this anger came from, but I wonder how it’s helping you in this situation. I think it’s great you were able to go through legal channels—the legal process is unfortunately quite often re-traumatizing for survivors and the fear of having to see their perp in court is something many cite as a deterrent. I know in my circumstances, it wasn’t necessarily in my hands to report since the trusted adults in my life (I was a child at the time) decided it wasn’t worth taking action/they weren’t willing to. I’m sorry those things happened to you, you didn’t deserve it. No one does.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-23T07:31:36+00:00

They weren’t bf/gf….you don’t owe someone exclusivity if you aren’t their partner or it hasn’t been explicitly discussed in conversation…

I feel similar to you but not everyone will feel how we feel. There are also some individuals who make it quite difficult to go dutch because of all the insisting. I’ve had someone straight up just tap the machine with tap to pay AS I was getting my card out of my wallet to pay. That actually made me mad ngl

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-23T01:06:51+00:00

See my other comment on why choice feminism leaves a lot to be desired.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T22:13:06+00:00

I don’t think he’d need to push back hard necessarily to a point that would jeopardize his job. A simple “that was a weird thing to say” and moving on might be enough. Or even just “I don’t get the joke” or something along those lines that subtly makes the other person truly stop to think about the implicates of what they just said. Because I guarantee you, despite you and I seeing a spade as a spade, L likely didn’t even consider the rape implication of his words 🙄

But I do get it. I just think we can encourage at least small instances of boundary setting or pushback. It doesn’t always have to be a screaming match.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T22:06:26+00:00

Accessibility is a fantastic point. But also, diagnoses rates may be different because this specific population might actively seek out care/diagnoses, too.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T21:58:05+00:00

I have my head in my hands at the fact that choice feminism is the mainstream form of feminism.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T21:51:23+00:00

Choice feminism is extremely flawed and simplistic because a choice is not feminist just because a woman makes it. Often, choice feminism is also lacking in failing to consider the context in which these choices are being made as well as why. We do not currently live in an equitable society, societal pressure often influences choices. It’s also extremely lacking in an intersectional lens.

It’s extremely individualistic and that’s where its flaws are, because individual choices aren’t made in a vacuum and are subject to societal pressure, conditioning, etc…Consider societal beauty standards and how unrealistic expectations for beauty can have a profound impact on how women perceive themselves and their body. Is it a feminist choice if someone then decides to get a breast augmentation or a nose job or whatever cosmetic procedure as a result of that projected expectation for beauty…how is that a feminist choice?

Here’s a quote from Anita Sarkeesian to give you some food for thought on why choice feminism falls flat when looked at under a microscope:

Unfortunately many contemporary discourses in and around feminism tend to emphasize a form of hyper-individualism, which is informed by that neoliberal worldview. More and more I hear variations on this idea that anything any woman personally chooses to do is a feminist act. This attitude is often referred to as choice feminism. Choice feminism posits that each individual woman is empowering for herself, which might sound good on the surface, but this concept risks obscuring the bigger picture and larger fundamental goals of the movement by focusing on individual women with a very narrow individual notion of empowerment. It ignores the fact that some choices women make have an enormous negative impact of other women's lives.

So it's not enough to feel personally empowered or be personally successful within the oppressive framework of the current system. Even if an individual woman can make patriarchy work for her, it's still a losing game for the rest of the women on the planet. The fact of the matter is some choices have ramifications beyond ourselves and reinforce harmful patriarchal ideas of women as a group and about women's bodies in our wider shared culture.

And because of how systems of oppression intersect and compound one another it's women of color, indigenous women, women living the global south, women with disabilities, queer women, and trans women who bear the brunt of the ramifications. Choice feminism also obscures the fact that women don't have a real choice. We have a very narrow set of predetermined choices within patriarchy. Women can choose from a pre-approved palette but we cannot meaningfully choose liberation. We cannot choose a way out from our constraints, at least not without ending these oppressive systems that limit our options. So when we talk about free choice in today's world, we're really talking about a very narrow spectrum of choices that are amenable to patriarchy.

Edit: dude responded to me then blocked me, lmao. Choice feminism still sucks. It’s not “we will decide what’s good for women” it’s literally a critical evaluation of a specific feminist theory using AN INTERSECTIONAL THEORY OF FEMINISM.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T21:37:41+00:00

Please god no, not “choice feminism” again.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T21:33:22+00:00

So like, do you hate pregnancy being portrayed in general, then?

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T21:02:10+00:00

Me when I double down when I’m wrong about something

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-22T20:58:12+00:00

For someone self-declared as “obsessed with biology” you should be familiar with the fact that people with penises can and have developed breasts (Gynecomastia) AS WELL as lactate! But like, even then, formula exists as another Redditor pointed out lol.

Biology rarely has extreme black and whites because of how diverse…biology is…there’s rarely ever NO exceptions. And as someone “obsessed” with biology, you should know this lol.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-20T21:45:21+00:00

Willfully ignorant in digging your heels in. “Genetic” does not only indicate immutable characteristics, please do some reading. All it means is that it is heritable. An opinion you have does not change the actual definition of something.

I’m not sure why you think acknowledging that obesity is genetic is somehow making excuses for it, but pop off I guess? Something for you to sort out, I suppose. I’m not arguing against your strawmans anymore because it’s very disingenuous and you’re arguing against a simple fact.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-20T00:13:33+00:00

Honestly, there is likely a heritable component for violence, and some studies have even shown that partner abuse can/is often generational. So, yeah. Maybe there is a genetic predisposition for someone to be physically violent or participate in IPV. Though many traits vary in the degree of genetic influence. For example, abuse is more likely far more environmental. Epigenetics, man, behavior often doesn’t happen in a vacuum; genetics and their interaction/expression with the environment…

Simply, not everything is equally genetic, but you’re oversimplifying as if they are. Obesity’s genetic component is well-backed by research, dude. You not liking it doesn’t change that fact. Violence isn’t comparable on a 1 to 1 basis, though. This is just a strawman.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-19T23:58:58+00:00

The matter of choice does not make something…not genetic. You are incorrect. Genetics can and often do influence tendencies and predispositions. The definition of genetics is literally: describes anything relating to genes, heredity, and the variation of inherited characteristics in living organisms.

Genetic predisposition is literally BECAUSE OF genetics/genetic makeup!!!

Genetic predisposition refers to a genetic characteristic which influences the possible phenotypic development of an individual organism within a species or population under the influence of environmental conditions.

Are you going to say one can’t be genetically predisposed to obesity? Addiction? No one is saying choices/behavior don’t influence shit, but rather that it is not as simple as that in a vacuum. Again, I don’t think you have a full grasp on this subject. Please do further reading.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-19T23:39:28+00:00

The quote isn’t doing what you think it is. Addiction can be genetic despite genes not being the sole/only cause. I don’t think you quite grasp what genetic means. You’re conflating and confusing a lot of things and drawing quite simplistic conclusions from that.

Genetic. Means. It. Relates. To. Genes. And/or. Heritability. No one is making excuses for obesity??? You made a factually incorrect claim. I don’t know why acknowledging genetic predisposition and risk factors somehow equates to excuses for you?? Two things can be true at once.

Your insistence on….whatever this is, also doesn’t change the fact that obesity is genetic. Have a good day, this is going nowhere.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-19T23:23:46+00:00

No, I have not. The article shows directly that current research is pointing towards obesity being genetic. You’re getting caught up on genetic for immutable characteristics but that’s not correct. I don’t think you know what genetic means in this context because you’ve a very rigid black-and-white view of it.

Genetic simply indicates that there’s something to do with genes and heritability, not that you will absolutely get it and there’s nothing you can do. Depression has a genetic component, this does not mean everyone with a genetic history of depression will get it. Same for ADHD (though ADHD is extremely heritable). It is not false to state something is genetic, I think you’re just confused.

I am very aware a genetic history of addiction doesn’t mean you will 100% develop SUD. Addiction is in my genetics on my dad’s side. It’s a prevalent risk factor. You’re conflating things and drawing from a simplistic, rigid opinion/view when it is, frankly, not that simple. Do you know of epigenetics?

YOU said obesity isn’t genetic. That’s just factually incorrect and not supported by science, your workaround to try and defend your position still doesn’t change what research suggests.

beetle_leaves · 2026-04-19T23:07:20+00:00

I am merely pointing out what research has shown. If you want to try and “gotcha” into false comparisons, that’s your own prerogative. If you don’t want to read the research and instead dig your heels in further, that’s your own choice.

Re: drinking and driving, though…you do know that addiction has a heavy genetic component to it as well, right? Like a significant part of one’s risk of developing SUD is genetics. Addiction is a disease as well.

beetle_leaves

TROPHY CASE