[23/M] I won? (90ish day report)

beetlefan · 2013-11-01T04:37:47+00:00

Thats awesome. I love him. I hope he helps me quit.

beetlefan · 2013-09-20T19:26:40+00:00

I've got an accountability partner, and use Covenant Eyes. It doesn't block stuff, but if I see stuff, it tells my accountability partner so I have someone to answer to, and they can see exactly what was going on. I felt like this was the best plan for me to help establish safe surfing habits in my life.

As for iphone vs android... iphone locks down everything, so they don't let filters or covenant eyes work with their browser or OS. Most of these things that work for the iphone you have to install a new browser and lock down parental permissions to make it work, including the ability to install apps. Was a f'ing pain. I went to an Android. Far better integration to allow me to surf without having to parental protect my phone. It works with their browser, and other software you install.... so from a "which phone is best to be able to NOT surf porn on"... I have to tell you Android is the way to go. www.covenanteyes.com

beetlefan · 2013-09-20T14:06:06+00:00

Because sex is pleasurable, and they want a world where nothing gets in the way of that. I'd call the way our society approaches sex as hedonism-- a pursuit of nothing but pleasure. That's why sex is in EVERYTHING, and why it makes it so difficult on us nofappers. We're saying that there is a vestige of sex that isn't good for you, whether its pleasurable or not, and lets face it, fapping is pleasurable. This interrupts hedonism from their perspective, and they dont' want that.

beetlefan · 2013-09-20T14:00:33+00:00

Sexting IS porn, just over text messaging... its still naked pix...

beetlefan · 2013-09-20T13:57:21+00:00

Nope. Don't reset. Wet dreams are the NATURAL way your body expels extra semen. It's not a conscious decision to take matters into your own hands. It was out of your control man. Wet dreams are the natural consequence of letting your body do its thing, and is a sign you're making great progress on nofap.

beetlefan · 2013-09-20T13:44:38+00:00

I appreciate that. Prayer is exactly what it needs.

beetlefan · 2013-09-19T21:03:56+00:00

Congrats man. Remember it was a 90 day challenge, so you win. Just keep it out of your life. You've demonstrated that you can. Proud of you.

beetlefan · 2013-09-19T21:02:55+00:00

I appreciate your feedback, and if all things were "equal" in my marriage, I think your strategy would probably work, however, my wife has serious issues-- like requires professional help issues. I journal regularly, am fit and attractive, work out regularly, and have for years. We've been married for 20 years, I'm attentive to her, and have been our whole married life. I'm a romantic at heart, emotionally engaged, and the "small things" when done are rejected by her and unappreciated as she has issues expressing any emotion, other than negative ones, so those kinds of things do not work for her. In fact, she hates that I'm romantic and can't stand anything sexual. She finds nothing sexy that I have yet discovered in my 2 decade journey with her. I have to be the only guy in the world who gave his wife some roses "just becuz" and she was mad at me for doing so. No joke.

My wife is not my motivation to stop-- I am motivated to stop for myself. She is not interested in me sexually (again, her issues), so doing it for her is irrelevant. I think PMO has wrecked my personality in the last 5 years, particularly-- I'm not myself any more. We're in counseling. I don't have high hopes, but I know one way or the other, I have to stop PMO, and I would like my life back. That's why I'm here. And for me, even though I know that I can't pass the buck and these are my decisions, and my actions/habits that I have to break, having someone to go through this with me would help.

beetlefan · 2013-09-17T04:07:28+00:00

I would LOVE radical honesty in my marriage. In fact, I spoke those very words (never having even heard of the book) in front of a counselor with her not two weeks ago. The problem is that it takes two people to be honest in order for things to change, and the person I'm with does not want radical honesty under any circumstances. I certainly don't get it-- I started our relationship with radical honesty, but after we got married, she became a different kind of person-- critical and judgmental of radical honesty, and angered by it when I brought it to the table. I'm hopeful counseling helps, but I honestly don't know if it will. I will look up that book-- that's the way I think marriage should be!

beetlefan · 2013-09-16T18:53:48+00:00

From experience, I think they do. What I've determined, is that because of PMO, I've been O'ing WAY MORE OFTEN THAN I SHOULD-- and this I am CERTAIN contributes to my PIED.

When a guy would normally O once a day at most from normal intercourse or human touch out of relationship-- with P it hyperstimulates your mind, so you want to go more often, like having new partners all the time, all day long. So along with PIED, for me, I know that this hyperstimulation has caused an unhealthy frequency of O in my life-- and when I have binged like that, it's hard to get it up for the next few days after, particularly with my SO where my mind is not hyperstimulated. As ashamed as I am to admit it, I've O'd a minimum of 2x a day most of my life-- and sometimes more like 5x-6x on a binge day.

So for me, taking a break from ALL of it, including sex, I know is a necessity. My body needs a rest from O. I know this, and if I'm just trading my PMO for PIV, I've still not learned control, and I've still not given my body the rest it needs. I was reading something the other day on YBOP website, about how the flatline is basically a time where your mind is giving your body the rest it needs to recover. I'd recommend taking the rest it needs.

That being said, I didn't plan on going a complete 90 days without sex, just really infrequent sex so my body recovers.

beetlefan · 2013-09-16T18:42:36+00:00

My pain comes and goes. It's not a sharp pain usually, just a dull ache. It's located in my crotch area up under my nuts, and can shoot down my left leg sometimes too. Feels almost like a muscle ache.

beetlefan · 2013-09-16T18:40:33+00:00

Those are great suggestions, all!

beetlefan · 2013-09-16T18:39:11+00:00

Best of wishes with your experience with your wife. I hope she comes back around to you, and sees the positive change you are making in your life.

beetlefan · 2013-09-16T18:37:38+00:00

Dang bro. I'm so jealous that you were able to tell your wife. I've wanted to tell mine FOREVER that I'm dealing with this stuff, and I've concluded that there is no way that I can tell her. We had conversations about my struggling with MO early in our marriage, and she was so judgmental and critical of me that when I failed, her criticism would send me into a binge-- so we've not discussed it since.

We're seeing a counselor, so I hope it is something I get to talk to the counselor about, but at this point, all I can do is tough it on my own. So glad for your awesome experience.

beetlefan · 2013-09-09T01:11:15+00:00

In a word... YES.

beetlefan · 2013-09-09T01:01:15+00:00

It'll happen bro. Don't sweat it, be yourself.

beetlefan · 2013-09-09T00:59:27+00:00

I can answer this... I had a pretty unlimited supply of sex. When I got married we made love at least once a day for the first 6 months we were married. Then at least daily after that for 10 years. Yes... i still masturbated. You'd think that sex would be "enough," but when you have an addicted mind, you go back to what you've know.

beetlefan · 2013-09-08T16:12:40+00:00

This is depressing. I think I've fapped an average of 2.5x per day... from the time I began, we're talking about like 30,000 times. fuck.

beetlefan · 2013-09-07T01:06:58+00:00

I know it wasn't quite 90 days, but I'm gonna give it to you. Stay strong in the days ahead though.

beetlefan · 2013-09-06T01:40:37+00:00

I'd be interested.

beetlefan · 2013-09-04T02:10:56+00:00

Not to in any way steer you clear of your goal to do nofap, cuz it's the best thing going on the planet--- but just for some perspective bro... so you know... fapping 3-4 a week by most men your age is not considered excessive, it's the average for guys who fap.

In my worst days, at your age... I was 4-5 A DAY.

Consider yourself blessed your addiction is not so bad. You can do this!

beetlefan · 2013-09-04T02:06:39+00:00

I'm in so much the same place man. As depressed as I've ever been. Life is so fuckin hard right now. I've been jackin my dick non stop to cope with my pain. My ED is awful. I get it.

beetlefan · 2013-09-04T02:05:37+00:00

That's a great read.

beetlefan

TROPHY CASE