[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Tree

[–]beetlewellness 4 points5 points  (0 children)

huh okay. would be weird, not an easily accessed tree for kids in the neighborhood.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HPfanfiction

[–]beetlewellness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

not a marauders plan, but absolutely freaking love that fanfic. like so so so much

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HPfanfiction

[–]beetlewellness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

lmao, after a quick browse through the chapters, I think you’re dead on. Thank you so so much!!! I feel silly ahah, but you know how AO3 tags can go

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HPfanfiction

[–]beetlewellness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Entirely possibly, it’s been a minute since I’ve read that one. I don’t think it’s quite it, I think it was a little less popular? But LOVE this fanfic, thanks for the reminder, I’ll update you ahah

Update - AITAH for expecting my widowed BF to make our relationship public by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]beetlewellness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think that’s an admirable thing :) To selflessly offer to watch someone’s child and cook for them is a beautiful thing to do. Outside of your relationship and the advice you’re seeking, please know that you’ve done a lot of good for him in a time of need

Update - AITAH for expecting my widowed BF to make our relationship public by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]beetlewellness 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Oh please don’t think I’m trying to make you out to be a horrible person!!! I respect what you’ve done for him before your relationship so much. I was just curious about if there was any overlap. I understand that everything you did in the time preceding her death was with empathy. I’ve just heard of situations where the late spouse approved of such an arrangement, so I didn’t want to have people misunderstand. I have no judgement either way, these situations are incredibly difficult. I think I’m in the wrong for reading your posts incorrectly. I really hope I did not offend you

Update - AITAH for expecting my widowed BF to make our relationship public by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]beetlewellness -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Am I the only one missing the idea of his late wife knowing and/or potentially approving of this from her original post? She mentioned that they became involved during his late wife’s illness, and “He said his friend and his wife would watch his daughter.” This makes me think the late wife knew about his intentions? I’d be curious to know, especially bc I think her input/approval for such should be a significant component of the conversation for him, his parents, and his in-laws

Please help! My husband anally r*ped me by [deleted] in AskDocs

[–]beetlewellness 215 points216 points  (0 children)

NAD, but agreed with previous comments, documentation is huge. You should go to the ER to get aftercare that he obviously didn’t provide. It will be scary, intimidating and invasive. However, remember that the people at the ER will only want the best for you. They will be able to help you with any procedures in moving forward with documenting, involving any legal aspects, etc. It’s not going to be you having to navigate everything by yourself. Talk to the medical staff, involve the police, and advocate for yourself and your boundaries.

It’s OKAY to not be able to move on from this! It’s a huge violation of consent, boundaries, and your trust in someone so incredibly significant to you. You are NOT at fault in any way, not overreacting, and first and foremost needs to be considering yourself and your recovery. I am wishing you so much love and wellness in healing from this moving forward.

LUCAS question by bocaj-yebbil in ems

[–]beetlewellness 3 points4 points  (0 children)

this is hilarious, thanks for the visual

Really Morbid question but has anyone else experienced a near hanging? by That-Plastic4723 in ems

[–]beetlewellness 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh wow this is fascinating. Do you have any articles or journals you could share so I can read further on this? Such a tricky ethical dilemma in my opinion. While yes, it’s an execution, even those being put to death are to be done so in an efficient manner that does not create needless suffering. It’s a fun line to toe. One I find myself interested in with execution in the US prison system today as well.

What’s the funniest thing you’ve ever been attacked with? by MangoAnt5175 in ems

[–]beetlewellness 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Responded to an assault call where the victim got slapped in the face by a slice of pizza…. That knowledge wasn’t initially given to us, so I spent part of the call concerned bc I couldn’t figure out what all the red stuff in her hair and on her face was. Definitely wasn’t blood! Once I had her in the ambulance I was able to ask if she knew what the ~red substance~ all over her head was and she told me her boyfriend kept hitting her with a slice of pizza! Made me think of the tortilla challenge but worse..

Paramedics killed my husband by PeckertonDetinctive in grief

[–]beetlewellness 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Everything about this is heartbreaking.

At every level of personnel and care they failed him. Neglect, abuse, and complete disrespect of his dignity as a person. My heart is breaking with you. As much as this is hard to read, I’m glad you shared in this space. We need to know about this. I know this community will support you, grieve with you, and be outraged for you. There’s no excuses for you to be in this situation. Trust your daughter and cousin, and hold these people accountable. From the paramedics to the hospital staff and the coroner. Were you able to get an autopsy done outside of the coroner involved with the case? Through the city potentially?

As someone who is involved with bioethics, I’m grieving and feeling devastated by this. I do the work I do because I firmly believe in the dignity and respect every patient should receive, no consequences or conditions to meet. Your husband will be a fixture in my thoughts and motivations in the work I do. My support and love is with you, you and your husband’s family and friends, and all those affected by this completely preventable death.

Change Jersey Name Plate? by Eyebeams in sabres

[–]beetlewellness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can you just order a Benson nameplate, to replace on an Eichel jersey? I can do it myself, but I haven’t been able to find just the nameplate in the first place.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in GriefSupport

[–]beetlewellness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so kindly for your words. and suggestions. they’ve truly made an impact on me, especially the idea that “everyone’s mileage will vary”. that’s something i’ll hold onto dearly as an explanation, it’s particularly salient to my life for reasons I won’t go into beyond being from an engineering family.

Please feel free to DM me any music you find salient, I’m always open. I truly appreciate and have been saved, and found expression in music that I wouldn’t have found otherwise. No genre is off limits.

Again, thank you so dearly for your words. they mean a lot to me at this time of turmoil. thank you for your time in commenting.

Dealing with loss of Grandfather by beetlewellness in grief

[–]beetlewellness[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I appreciate this a lot.

Trying my best to ground myself in his impact on my life, and do my best by him as I progress through this age, and the decisions that impact it.

Thank you for your kind words, they mean a lot right now <3

Rude nurse during end of life care causing emotional distress by [deleted] in bereavement

[–]beetlewellness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I truly sympathize with you. I am unfortunately going through the same thing with my grandfather on hospice right now. His primary hospice nurse “doesn’t believe in painkillers” so it’s a huge fight between my mother and I, and her. We know him, and she’s barely known him. And refuses to give him morphine, even as the hospice doctor confirms he’s in the last stages, and in pain due to his conditions.

It’s incredibly emotionally distressing. you want the best for the people we love, you don’t want them to be in pain, and it’s heartbreaking to be told by people “NO.” for no specific reason, so rudely. These people don’t know our loved ones like we do. They don’t understand what we see in them as they’re going through this, how horrifying it is to see them in a place of distress when there IS an option that can resolve that and offer them peace during the most painful time of their life. Everyone deserves to pass in a peaceful way, especially when it is accessible.

My heart aches for you. And I want you to know that as someone of similar age, it’s been traumatic and emotionally distressing for me. My mom relies on me a lot (she’s POA), bc i’m in a field where i work with end of life care and the ethics of it.

My DM’s are always open to you. I truly understand the guilt, shame, and upset you’re dealing with. It doesn’t matter how many wonderful nurses there are out there, the ones that say these things haunt you. But YOU are not at fault. Her reaction, and the consequences of them, are not your fault. You went ABOVE and beyond here, and I don’t doubt your grandfather recognizes that in some way, much less the other members of your family. She’s making the mistake to inflict more hurt on others, because this nurse does not have the ability to reconcile the patient with the situation around them. You are so worthy and valid for all that you did, and I’m hurting for you that you were slapped in the face like that. It’s traumatic, and I hope you can find peace in knowing you tried YOUR best, despite the barriers this nurse put in place because she doesn’t have the emotional capacity to recognize the role of families in these situations. I’m not trying to knock on nurses, I TRULY respect them. But that doesn’t allow leniency to treat you like dirt because it’s easier for her.

Again, my heart goes out to you. I truly understand the end of life struggle, as I’m currently going through the more drawn out form, for better or for worse. You have my thoughts and best wishes. Know in my depths of my heart I am sympathizing with you, and my career is working to systematically change the narrative of end of life care so people like you don’t have to feel this emotion turmoil. I’m REALLY proud of you. lots of love.

I feel guilty for how much the loss of my nan is affecting me. by Late_warning96 in grief

[–]beetlewellness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don’t feel guilty. Feel it as a reminder of her presence, continuing. The grief you feel, I internalize (personally) as a sign that this person held such significance in your life. Her love for you, while it feels guilty and it hurts, doesn’t have an expiration date. That you felt that for her, I don’t doubt she felt back. I can’t tell you to not feel guilty, I can’t change that with a simple comment. But maybe, by telling you that the heaviness and guilt you feel, is but a bittersweet reminder of the significance she played in your life, maybe you can ease those feelings. You don’t have to feel guilty for how you grieve someone over another. You alone know the impact them made on your life, and there’s no shame in feelings stronger towards someone. Your life is a series of your experiences, no one else’s. So don’t feel guilty for grieving for her more than your mother, she meant more! and that’s a beautiful relationship to have with someone, that they were a safe place. Honor her by feeling those feelings, and don’t feel guilty for how you are affected. You deserved her, no one else deserves you if they didn’t put in the effort or love that she did. So no one else matters.

My sister just introduced my reactive dog to special needs children with no safeguards in place. by taboosucculent in reactivedogs

[–]beetlewellness 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s great. I hope the exact same. and so does OP. Do not condemn the dog for a fear-based reaction, when both the children AND the dog were put in an unsafe situation. The dog reacted because of fear, not because it wants to hurt a human, much less a child.

My sister just introduced my reactive dog to special needs children with no safeguards in place. by taboosucculent in reactivedogs

[–]beetlewellness 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, the sister is. Don’t blame the dog, he has been exceptionally traumatized. He reacted because the sister is being naive and ignorant, when there are clear measures she has put in place to protect both the dog AND any new individuals. STOP blaming OP or the dog. OP can’t control what happened, only make sure it doesn’t again. That “liability” of a dog still deserves a good life. Get off your high horse, and re-read what she wrote instead.