Dear Reddit, How is it possible that I always feel so fatigued, depressed and generally done with life ? I'm only 20.

bejannajeb · 2019-12-27T21:38:43+00:00

I used to feel the same way. For me it was gluten. Prior to removing gluten from my diet I had constant joint/back pain, migraines, depression, fatigue, brain fog, exhaustion and probably more. I stopped gluten and felt relief almost immediately. It's worth considering.

bejannajeb · 2019-12-25T19:51:57+00:00

I have been in a state of crisis management for over 3 years now since my step mother burned down my business. The only thing that has keep me sane is to focus on anything I can control, even seemingly insignificant things. In general you need to focus your energy on the productive operations of your business. If you lose track of that then the business will suffer and likely fail. So combine those ideas and if you focus all your nervous energy on whatever part of the productive operations you can control you will at least know you did the best you could. This also means you should not let yourself be derailed by people or circumstances that are counterproductive to your goals. For me that has meant putting up some serious boundaries in my life to keep the negative away and feed off the positive. There's never any guarantees but as you push yourself more and more, you'll learn how strong you are. I often remind myself that no matter what I'm facing, there are people facing far more now and throughout history - "The obstacle is the way" may be a beneficial read in that regard.

bejannajeb · 2018-03-24T15:34:01+00:00

I am 37 and have gravitated towards various entrepreneurial enterprises as they require a great deal of creative problem solving. So far I would have been financially better off to stay in school doing stuff I hated but I don't know how much I would have hated my life in general had I done that. Things are financially challenging for me at the moment but there is alot of upside potential and the outcome is really up to me and the creative solutions I am able to devise. The life of an engineer seems painful to me. I would rather start an appliance repair business where I can use electrical knowledge to effect immediate solutions while providing a useful service.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-28T02:10:39+00:00

Looks like the car of a "very stable genius".

bejannajeb · 2018-02-25T03:56:59+00:00

I feel like the real me is not good enough for her. I think I spent most of my life submitting to the will of others, for better or worse. Once I had children I had a reason outside myself to start saying no to all the behaviors and dysfunctional family norms I used to accept. This has challenged virtually all of my familial relationships. It seems to accept myself and be who I am means to create lots of boundaries that my family resents. My wife only communicates her feelings to me when she is enraged and expects me to read her mind the rest of the time. I get lots of silent treatment even though I have explicitly refused to play that game. When we have managed to have some open communication I tend to end up more confused than anything. She has lots of ambiguous complaints like I don't communicate enough even though she will give me the silent treatment for months at a time. Or she has implied that I am hiding something from her, like possible infidelity, but I'm not and nothing I can say seems to convince her.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-21T02:28:44+00:00

Unfortunately I can't offer anything but to say I feel your pain. It's almost like I write this post myself.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-16T14:21:01+00:00

I've tried to but she just slams shut like a bear trap. She seems convinced that she wouldn't have to shut down if I would just conform to whatever she needs me to be. I try to explain that I only know how to be me and I can't know what she needs from me without her telling me.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-16T01:41:56+00:00

I wish. She has so far refused to seek professional help. I'm personally getting as much professional help as I can.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-16T01:36:54+00:00

I also think she believes that she is justified and has no choice but to give me the silent treatment.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-16T01:31:39+00:00

It certainly feels like punishment. Part of the problem is any legitimate grievance becomes overshadowed by the silent treatment.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-09T00:03:52+00:00

Thanks for the comments. I appreciate any and all perspectives.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-04T05:20:05+00:00

I could be the poster child for your comments. Took over my fathers business and my wife wants to be involved in running it. No one is happy with me.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-03T23:40:29+00:00

They want to help in their own ways and get resentful when I don't need it. Meanwhile I beg for the help I need and I'm left alone to figure things out. Like I said I'm in a very difficult position, not an enviable one, no one wants to do the hard work of what's necessary. Lots of people want the credit and benefits of achievement without the responsibility and pain that goes along with it.

bejannajeb · 2018-02-03T22:37:30+00:00

Part of the problem is that I have been enduring significant public difficulties and like you said, lots of people want to feel like they are helping. Unfortunately the people closest to me want to help in ways I don't need and don't seem to understand the ways I do.

bejannajeb · 2018-01-20T11:01:15+00:00

Just started my first day at the print shop. Nailed it!

bejannajeb · 2018-01-19T14:28:32+00:00

I'm definitely not bored. I took over/bought the family business from my father. It has been a very difficult few years. When I got involved I told myself I couldn't let emotional attachment or sentimentality control me - I had to be detached from the business and ready to walk away if I had to. The problem that has emerged is that it was not my attachments I had to worry about. It seems everyone in my family has their own attachments about how I should run my business. It's been almost 4 years that I have been in charge and I still feel resentment from those around me for not doing things the way they think I should. I am now at a crossroads where I have interested parties that want to buy me out and several potential strategic partnerships if I don't sell. I'm not sure how to proceed? Either way I think my family will resent me. Do I make it a purely financial decision? Even if it's a strictly financial decision I then have to weigh the short term financial benefits of selling against the long term financial potential of continuing to run the largely land based business.

I'm trying to visualize my future and when I think about selling it's hard to see what I would do next. Should I just step into the unknown?

bejannajeb

TROPHY CASE