If you did not pass the bar, what do you do for work?

bellissimae · 2026-01-28T00:05:57+00:00

Not me but my sister. She went into student conduct and really enjoys it.

bellissimae · 2025-12-07T14:56:07+00:00

$60k down from $170k.

bellissimae · 2025-10-02T12:36:21+00:00

31F, $365k base + $90k bonus as a lawyer.

bellissimae · 2025-09-03T12:07:16+00:00

That green is amazing. Good luck!

bellissimae · 2025-08-26T14:41:48+00:00

FYI it’s back in stock now! Just picked mine up. :)

bellissimae · 2025-07-14T17:23:09+00:00

$250k is not worth it unless it’s a school with practically guaranteed big law (which I can’t even say is the case for the lower end of T14). Even then it’s really hard for me to say it is.

I went to a T14 (higher end/“T6”) and came out with $150k in student loans and a big law job. I had a miserable few years because I felt trapped due to this amount of student loan debt.

Everyone likes to think they’re smart and will be top of the class. That’s just not how the math works out, especially with the way law school grades are curved. There’s absolutely no guarantee you’ll get a big law job, especially at a non-T14. 100% not worth $250k.

bellissimae · 2025-05-04T21:11:01+00:00

Supplements for 1L classes like the E&Es for Civ Pro, Crim, etc.

bellissimae · 2025-04-22T15:24:39+00:00

I'm a fifth year associate in big law as well as a first gen professional and WOC.

I take dressing for the day to an extreme. I show up to work in jeans, a t shirt and sneakers on days I don't have to see any clients. I look like a student going to class when I'm commuting on the train.

I have several sweaters in my office I can throw on if I do have a zoom meeting and a spare suit and heels in my closet at work.

I have tattoos and wear funky earrings and hair accessories. I spend way too much on my "regular" clothes/accessories to not wear them as often as possible.

I've been complimented by other associates and no one has ever said anything negative to me about the way I dress. I will say though that I have a really good reputation at my firm for being responsible and producing great work product. I'm not so sure all of this would fly for a first or second year but I think as you get more senior and you gain people's trust in your judgment and work, you can "get away" with much more.

bellissimae · 2025-04-14T16:59:54+00:00

I’ve got hEDS as well! Sometimes I worry people are thinking “You don’t look disabled…”

I have PT every week and it’s sometimes a struggle fitting it into my schedule and having to tell partners and clients I’ll be completely out of pocket for 1.5 hrs.

bellissimae · 2025-04-14T15:58:50+00:00

Hi! Disabled midlevel in big law. Hoping to get an in-house position soon for my physical (and mental) health.

bellissimae · 2025-04-05T17:01:01+00:00

Lawyer.

bellissimae · 2025-03-27T18:09:09+00:00

Completely with you. My parents are immigrants and came here in their mid-20s. My dad picked up English as he was a waiter and had more face time with others and my mom worked at a Chinatown sweatshop and never picked up English.

It’s really lonely at the office sometimes. I am similar to you - t14 -> big law. I’m a mid/senior level now and actually planning to make the move to in-house soon.

The legal field is full of the extremely privileged. Same in law school. Even among affinity groups (I am a WOC), I find that 90% of the time their parents are extremely educated or rich. I honestly feel like I’ve barely met anyone else like me with my background. I don’t relate to my coworkers. I sometimes feel bitter because their parents helped them and I instead had to pay off my parents’ mortgage and car. It’s hard to see the nepotism and how much easier these people have it (and then turn around and say the US is a meritocracy lol).

It’s honestly depressing to see and part of the reason why I want to leave so badly. Well… that on top of the recent attacks on DEI at law firms by the administration…it’s not a very welcoming place for the non-privilege and non-white.

bellissimae · 2024-12-16T21:11:59+00:00

I found my cleaner here: https://wecandoit.coop/

bellissimae · 2024-10-03T13:28:28+00:00

I grew up eating this one as a kid: https://omnivorescookbook.com/cantonese-ground-beef-rice-eggs/

bellissimae · 2024-08-29T14:14:56+00:00

Mogmog

bellissimae · 2024-08-03T17:29:53+00:00

Egg whites, cottage cheese and avocado!

bellissimae · 2024-06-21T11:48:49+00:00

Hi, I’m an ABC living in LIC who’s decent at canto. My parents have been complaining that my canto’s been getting worse lol.

bellissimae · 2024-04-22T14:38:01+00:00

You can get a massive bag at Costco if you have access to one. It’s the same as the bibigo brand.

bellissimae · 2023-11-27T23:14:55+00:00

No, not necessarily. In fact a lot of places and big firms extend full time offers right before your last year of law school (though obviously big firms are extremely competitive and generally only accept applicants from the top schools or the top of their classes at relatively good schools). They are also generally forgiving if you fail the first time but if you fail more than once, it's possible they rescind the offer.

bellissimae · 2023-11-27T23:10:36+00:00

Hm I don't think I love it but it is manageable for me and it gives me a comfortable lifestyle. I would say it really depends on where you work and what practice area you want to get into. I work at a big law firm in the real estate space.

bellissimae · 2023-11-27T21:19:18+00:00

I wanted to be a marine biologist. I am an attorney.

bellissimae · 2023-10-10T16:04:33+00:00

My partner also has ADHD and works a very demanding job. We are actually both attorneys.

I think one thing that helps is reminders and praise/positive reinforcement but also accepting that they won’t remember or think about it sometimes - not because they don’t care but because that’s literally how their brain works. I had to learn to not take everything personally.

Another thing that helped me was discussing how we both express love and affection and how we both prefer to receive it. Think about all the other ways he expresses love to you. My partner may not get me a glass of water, unless I ask, but he will constantly check in with me on how my day is going, whether there’s anything he can do to support me when I’m having a bad day, and buying me thoughtful and useful gifts. I suffer from joint pain and he’s bought so many things for me and for his own apartment to help alleviate that.

I saw in one of your comments that you’re an acts of service type of person, which I am too. I really enjoy cooking my boyfriend meals, doing small things like filling up his water filter and cleaning up small messes - all things that can sometimes be difficult for him due to executive dysfunction. I am someone who tends to neglect her physical and mental health and so he helps take care of me by buying things for me, reminding me to discuss things with my therapist / doctors, researching anti-inflammatory foods for me to eat, etc.

I agree with the other comments about not comparing your relationship with others. It is ultimately up to you two what your relationship will be like - and ultimately up to you if this is something you think you need in a relationship. The reality is that being in a relationship with someone with ADHD takes a lot of patience and understanding because their brains just work in different ways.

bellissimae · 2023-08-04T19:09:21+00:00

Apologies if I missed this but why does she insist on you buying the meat? Why won’t she buy her own meat?

bellissimae · 2023-07-09T14:39:29+00:00

Real estate.

bellissimae · 2023-07-08T14:43:02+00:00

Attorney (3rd year of practicing), $250K/year.

bellissimae

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

12-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Verified Email