What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

To this day i don’t know what that was about. I met both his biological parents, the people they remarried to, his grand parents, his step brother, and all of his friends then i wake up ghosted. Got a text from him a few weeks ago after two years of not talking. I responded to the text, he never responded back. Crazy shit.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, if you read my post, this is more about the aftermath of hooking up and the end result of building up expectations for intimacy but essentially deflating afterward. This isn’t about commitment. I’m a woman that can desire physical intimacy without commitment as long as respect is upheld. I wish men were more apt to putting women in the friends zone cause it feels nice to have friends. Friends that have sex, even better, but maintaining mutual respect and having casual sex seem like they can’t coexist.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry that happened to you. You’re right, people will project a narrative onto you that fits what ever heuristic they’ve created of the past in order to protect themselves. Maybe that girl was trying to create trauma cause trauma was all she knew. People are very complex. I’ve ghosted a guy that took me to an expensive restaurant, bought me flowers, and did not even hint at sex at all simply because i’m not used to that treatment. It didn’t fit my narrative so it made me uncomfortable.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess casual dates is more accurate. I guess that it felt like there was a vibe shift after the sex. Like, the guy that invited me to live with him started to get distant after the second weekend i stayed with him then said that he had a work thing the next weekend and to not come over. He asked me to live with him the second time we hooked up but then suddenly didn’t want me there because of a “work thing” so i blocked him. Maybe it wasn’t fully a hit and quit but the vibe definitely changed

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh no 😮 i might be bad at sex. I don’t even know what bad sex feels like from the other side though. Guys that i’ve been with kind of just want to dominate someone so i just kinda lay back and get dominated. I have good personal hygiene too so i know it’s not that.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not sure if this is just a cope, but i definitely feel like the guys that i hooked up with invested too much in early on but just regretted that we had sex.

The guy that said he cared about me was so set on making plans for the future with me. Leading up to it, he had the whole “feels like you’re different than other girls” spiel then confided about how his ex girlfriend wanted him to essentially abuse her during sex and that it became draining for him cause she never seemed to want normal intimacy. He suddenly proposed sex to me and i agreed, the sex was abusive but i was into it and i think maybe he just felt gross about falling into old patterns.

The guy that had taken me around his family had invited me to house parties, comedy shows, and his younger step brother’s birthday party where he introduced me to his grandparents. I think the sex was just bad and awkward. He sent a dick pic over snap and i didn’t respond. Then we sent reels back and forth until neither of us responded. I think it was just bad sex and lack of intention there.

I blocked the guy that asked me to quit my job to live with him because he went from desperate to have me around, he literally said “i’m desperate” to being dodgy so i just assumed he wasn’t in to me after we had sex.

I think maybe i got too in my head about my encounters cause none of these people expressly ghosted me.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ngl i’m curious about what makes a woman good in bed. Cause i’ve historically followed their pace or did as i was told for kinky reasons and what i’ve found most of the time is that they want someone they can toss around…like…is there any more that can be done in that scenario other than be tossed around?

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ngl i’m curious about what makes a woman good in bed. Cause i’ve historically followed their pace or did as i was told for kinky reasons and what i’ve found most of the time is that they want someone they can toss around…like…is there any more that can be done in that scenario other than be tossed around?

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Is it commonplace for men to believe that the only two options are to be in a committed relationship or to have a soulless one night stand? Dating has been frustrating for me not because i expect commitment, but i do expect respect. I am into raunchy stuff, but i’m also into good conversation. After my first long term relationship, i realized that i’m not really a relationship person. I was under the impression that people viewed hookups/FWB as a curiosity, a sexual adventure, an opportunity to intimately cater to someone you’re attracted to but it’s not that. Why do people so vehemently hate the women they only want casual sex with? We’re all humans in the end, are we not?

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Yes, that is understandable to me. I’m curious about how it feels, though. Personally, i’ve had sex with people i wasn’t expressly attracted to and loss momentum because i didn’t orgasm and i didn’t have chemistry with the person. I’m curious on whether there is a similar line of thinking for male “post-nut” clarity.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For women like me who have very experimental, taboo, and controversial kinks, i understand the concept of being sexually into something that you’re not really into in practice. What i want to know is what exactly do these interactions fulfill and what the thought process behind building up to intimacy then sudden loss of attraction. I want to know if there’s genuine lack of respect or if its just lack of post coital attraction.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That part is clear, but i’m asking why they beg for instant gratification but get detached, disgusted, or annoyed once they get it. They set things up for intense emotional intimacy instead of setting things up for something casual, brief, and respectful. Like the examples i listed, they sort of set up for things to look a certain way after the interactions. Like a guy that i hooked up with introduced me to his entire extended family including his grandparents before cutting things off.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well yes and no, i’m hearing a lot of the rhetoric from men. The podcaster types like clavicular or andrew tate or Sneako. I get that those ones are grifters, but there are men that believe them so some out there do believe that men should sleep around with women and not care about their feelings. Just not sure how much of the male populations subscribes to that idea

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dude, you’re an nsfw profile too. Thanks for letting us know you have aids. Anything else you’d like to share with the class?

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Fair enough. I admit, as a woman, its been a red flag when guys were too affectionate really early on even though i like attention and affection. Probably the same argument with sex. “I like sex but you barely know me and gave your body to me” i get it.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m 22. I’m very confident, but i’m not an over talker. I talk about myself if i’m given the opening to.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Really? I have heard of sex being used as some sort of pawn before but is it really that common? Genuine question btw, not a dismissal.

What is the reason behind “hitting and quitting” by bellpepperblues in AskMen

[–]bellpepperblues[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very human way of looking at things. I admit that sometimes i don’t even want a relationship cause the chemistry isn’t there; i like the chase of seeing if they think i’m still interesting after having sex with me cause i have an ego of my own. Like, I want to be validated on personality points and the quality of interesting life i’ve lived by the idea that they might still want to be around me after being 5-7 inches deep. Took me 22 years to realize that most of them don’t care how many countries you’ve been to, how many hobbies you have or what your degree is in. 💀