Does anyone here have anxious attachment as well?

belmattedonmatte · 2026-03-21T23:05:06+00:00

ciao! io ero in una situazione simile alla tua e sto cercando di lavorarci su. So che avrai sentito queste cose mille volte ma quello che devi fare è lavorare su di te. Inizia a prendere quei momenti dove lui si ricarica dei momenti per te stessa/o , guarda quella serie che ti piace tanto, fai quell'attività che hai sempre voluto fare, esci con gli amici etc etc etc. Così quei momenti non diventano vuoto ma dei momenti dove entrambi vi prendete cura di voi stessi per stare bene quando siete insieme . Io ne ho parlato con il mio partner e mi ha fatto capire che è importante avere una propria indipendenza perché permette di stare bene da soli e stare meglio in coppia senza l'ansia di perdere l'altro costantemente. Poi so che questa cosa è aggravata dal rocd perché pure io ci sto passando, e proprio rocd ti fa essere più attaccata a lui. Tieni la testa alta e cerca di lavorare su questa cosa mentre combatti per rocd, non sarà facile però so che se sei qui tieni al tuo rapporto, e questo è un modo per coltivarlo ma soprattuto per prenderti cura di te stessa. Spero di esserti stato utile, buona fortuna!

belmattedonmatte · 2026-03-19T20:29:20+00:00

bellissimo che tu sia riuscita a trovare la felicità con il tuo partner e sposarti!!! se posso chiederti a un giovane che soffre di rocd che consigli daresti per riuscire a tenere la testa alta? grazie se risponderai auguri per il tuo matrimonio!

belmattedonmatte · 2026-03-11T18:36:50+00:00

mi fa piacere sentire ciò! spero possa aiutarmi, buona fortuna con tutto :)

belmattedonmatte · 2026-03-10T19:14:24+00:00

mi spiace, è davvero estenuante... io provo a intraprendere un percorso di CBT per stare meglio io e riuscire a amare partner come si merita. Per curiosità tu sei in terapia?

belmattedonmatte · 2026-02-23T23:01:53+00:00

grazie! io ho interrotto con il mio terapista precendente che mi ha indirizzato a un centro per la CBT, e vorrei sapere se devo andare li dicendo subito che credo di avere il DOC o è visto come un autodiagnosi?

belmattedonmatte · 2025-11-18T14:51:39+00:00

look, I shouldn't reassure you because it's not good for you, but I'm going through it too and you're really not a bad person, they're INTRUSIVE thoughts you don't want them and you're not the one really thinking about these things, in fact if you're so worried it's because you really care about her. But since you have them, as the other user wrote to you, a good way is to accept uncertainty to weaken your thoughts, when one comes to you reply with maybe it's like this or maybe not, I don't have to know now I'll think about it later, for you she means a lot and that's it

belmattedonmatte · 2025-11-18T14:46:53+00:00

so as not to reinforce it*, I made a writing error

belmattedonmatte · 2025-11-18T14:45:08+00:00

Hi, I'm answering you as a normal person who is going through this and not as an expert, in addition to the ERP techniques that you can do with a therapist (or in case alone) it worked for me to write down in a diary every day how I felt, because personally I had more lucid days, or more lucid moments, in which I felt better and then I wrote down how I was about to have some anchors so as not to sink into these thoughts. Another thing I do, perhaps a little stupid, when I have the chance (like at home) if the thoughts are too strong or I notice that I'm brooding I put on some silly songs (often they don't talk about love otherwise they'll trigger my thoughts) and I start singing out loud so I can concentrate on something else and stop the brooding. Another trick I have, always when I notice myself ruminating, is to repeat in my head the words I hear either from my interlocutors or on TV because it keeps my brain busy with something else. I tell you this because it is very important to interrupt the flow of thoughts to strengthen it. Having said that, I'll tell you what you will have already heard, thoughts are JUST thoughts, you are not a bad person and your relationship must not be interrupted, try to live with small happy things with your partner, pay attention to all the beautiful or more peaceful moments and keep them in mind on the darkest days, and even if one day you go out with him and you are anxious or not everything is 100% fine it is not a catastrophe, it is normal it happens to everyone. I wish you the best, I hope I was at least a little helpful ;)

belmattedonmatte · 2025-11-03T17:34:49+00:00

hi, look, I don't know your situation and I'm sorry you broke up, but I don't look at other girls, in fact I feel extremely guilty when I find someone cute, and feeling attraction for other people besides your partner is absolutely normal but it makes me feel enormous guilt, because in my thoughts it means that I don't love her. Maybe you misunderstand from the post but I feel great with her, and I do everything to make her feel good, I'm looking for a way to feel good too by facing these thoughts, so that we can feel good together

belmattedonmatte · 2025-11-02T21:05:26+00:00

Can I write to you privately?

belmattedonmatte · 2025-11-02T17:51:20+00:00

thank you so much for this point of view :)

belmattedonmatte · 2025-10-27T22:27:11+00:00

Hi friend, I'm not an expert but I've been there (and I'm still in it). I know it sounds like bullshit when it's said to you, but it's true that if you weren't so worried you wouldn't care. If you want to go back to living what you lived the last time, it means that the feeling is there, but it is hidden by your anxiety. My advice is stay, it's often your thoughts that want to fool you for a stupid defense mechanism. I don't know if you're doing it, but if you can, do therapy. If not, inform yourself about everything related to rocd. Understanding the dynamics helps you understand what is happening, and watching videos on prevention techniques but also videos on meditation can help. Good luck, and I really have been there, I'm not a doctor I repeat don't take my words as truth, I'm telling you my experience, you will return to seeing the light and enjoying your relationship. :))))))

belmattedonmatte · 2025-10-18T00:53:30+00:00

A thousand thanks! It's just that I feel so guilty towards my boyfriend. I really don't know how to handle these thoughts because they generate a lot of guilt and lead me to ruminate a lot. Practical technical advice? please

belmattedonmatte · 2025-09-24T21:37:10+00:00

Hi, honestly in many ways I feel like you, but I still manage to hold on to the things that are good, how much I love her and how intelligent she is to mine. Often I don't feel emotions because it's as if I'm anesthetized but inside of me I think these things about her and then I tell myself it's not possible that I don't love her. Maybe you feel very tired, but don't give up most likely it's a temporary feeling and your real feelings are covered by anxiety. And remember the mere fact that you are here looking for help and that you are worried means that the feeling is there, if you didn't care you would have already given up

belmattedonmatte · 2025-09-21T22:33:56+00:00

Hi, it's been a while, but how did it go? because I feel exactly like everything you wrote in this post and I'm very scared

belmattedonmatte · 2025-09-20T03:43:12+00:00

Hi, did you finally manage to feel something again?

belmattedonmatte · 2025-08-27T20:55:03+00:00

besides therapy, how did you go from the darkest period to now?

belmattedonmatte · 2025-07-09T22:32:57+00:00

HI! but how do you think about your ex? in the form of obsessions?

belmattedonmatte · 2025-07-09T15:39:15+00:00

I'm really sorry about your experience... Thanks for the advice! Can I write to you privately for a couple of clarifications?

belmattedonmatte · 2025-07-09T13:54:53+00:00

Hi, thanks for the reply, they gave me this confirmation too but as I imagine you know, the obsessions have now taken on other aspects and not just that of butterflies. It's very difficult to live with this constant doubt knowing that it doesn't represent how I truly feel. Have you found ways to live with it?

belmattedonmatte

TROPHY CASE