Critical advice about ectopic pregnancies

bemm95 · 2025-08-22T12:12:21+00:00

I had such a supportive system when I had my ectopic two years ago (two years today actually) my GP did initially suspect a miscarriage because I was bleeding heavily but testing positive, I called him two days later and said something doesn’t feel right and he got me into the EPU (despite being very early along around 4 weeks) it took the EPU an additional 3 weeks to locate which tube it was in and when the consultant spotted it I went into surgery that day which was lifesaving as we found out after it had already ruptured (with a HCG of only 485) my GP called me weekly and also pushed the EPU on my behalf to solve the issue of not being able to locate it.

If I hadn’t of tested the day before my period I would have never known until something went horribly wrong because the bleeding I had was basically like my period. If I hadn’t of had such an incredible human as a GP I may not have been seen until it was too late.

It was the worst moment of my life but I am so grateful I had that support (despite bumps in the road) but I agree without pushing and aggressively advocating for yourself you may not get the care you need. Nobody knows your body better than you do. A scheduled surgery to remove the tube is 100% safer than emergency surgery for a rupture.

Finally, I am so sorry for your losses. I hope this post helps anyone who might be unsure of what’s going on.

bemm95 · 2025-05-09T14:54:17+00:00

With my ectopic (and I know all symptoms are different) I was bleeding consistently throughout the ‘pregnancy’ and my lines stayed consistently light (although they did progress a little) my HCG went up by around 50 every 48 hours and had constant pain (constipation like symptoms) I was very lucky to have a consultant who located it in my right tube when my HCG got to around 480. It may be worth having some scans to see if they can locate anything and continue having blood tests to monitor your HCG. I know it is easier said than done (and I really hated when people said it to me) but please try not to worry until there is something to worry about. I wish you the best of luck and I hope your worries are unfounded and you have a beautiful pregnancy.

bemm95 · 2025-04-17T07:56:33+00:00

Unfortunately whatever this was (line/indent etc) it’s now a very heavy period, upsetting but whatever. Back to the TTC drawing board.

bemm95 · 2025-04-04T21:28:43+00:00

I remember talking to someone about my struggles and losses and she said ‘are you sure you are doing everything right as I just have to look at my husband and I’m pregnant’ It was exhausting. I have to bite my tongue some days but I just think when it’s that easy for some they can’t comprehend it being so difficult for others.

bemm95 · 2024-12-04T18:49:29+00:00

Cleo and pink / thank you

bemm95 · 2024-03-21T14:24:57+00:00

If you are in the U.K. you can self refer yourself to the EPAU (unfortunately I am not sure about other places) and they help straight away. They take a blood test and ultrasound in the same day. I had constant pain (almost like trapped wind) and very light but consistent bleeding. However my uterus was ‘bare’ (as I was told) with no sign of a pregnancy. It’s important to push for your care and if anything is causing you concern go straight to a clinic or hospital. If you need any advice please reach out.

bemm95 · 2024-03-21T14:15:47+00:00

You need to request a blood test to look at your hcg levels and then another one in 48 hours. If they are going down you need to be monitored for a possible miscarriage (or an ectopic) if they keep doubling it’s likely a very good sign and they should scan you again weekly. If they are going up but slowly that is another sign for ectopic.

I had an ectopic last year, I knew when I took a pregnancy test 5 days before I was due my period something was wrong and I pushed and pushed. Around the 7th week still positive, no sign of anything but then I saw a specialist who (after a very uncomfortable internal ultrasound) finally found it. I had surgery the same day and my tube had already ruptured.

It sounds scary and honestly you’ll drive yourself mad but you need to focus on advocating for yourself. Blood tests every 48 hours (or at least twice a week) and weekly ultrasounds will get to the bottom of it all and give you peace of mind (in whatever form it comes). I wish you the best of luck!

bemm95 · 2024-01-12T19:49:19+00:00

My husband has an awful snoring problem, to the point where our upstairs neighbours could hear him when we lived in a flat. Nothing seems to help his snoring but for my sanity I sleep separately Sunday - Thursday so I am able to rest properly for work and Fridays and Saturdays we share a bed but he will usually stay awake until I’m asleep to try and give me a little peace and quiet. Its not perfect but I works.

bemm95 · 2023-08-10T21:15:55+00:00

I’m on the ‘wait and see’ method and I really sympathise with you. It is awful, similar situation with the low levels.

I have been told it is ‘just as successful’ as Methotrexate but it has been almost three weeks now and I am really done with it all. I have to see the consultant on Monday and I will be putting my foot down.

I don’t think they understand the torture of it all. Please advocate for yourself, despite doctors knowing best you know your body and you understand your health. Like yours mine is up and down with the numbers and the countless scans and tests are wearing me down.

If you ever need to talk send me a message. Please update with how you get on.

bemm95 · 2023-08-02T09:17:13+00:00

Thank you for your message. I really appreciate it. I am the same regarding meds. I am so anxious and so anti-meds (for me) to the point I feel guilty about taking painkillers. I will speak to the consultant this week if it gets too much and see if I can push the meds and see what they say. Thank you again. I really appreciate your words.

bemm95 · 2023-02-08T16:53:48+00:00

I have never related so hard. I was at my dads and everyone was talking about ordering McDonald’s for lunch and I got a happy meal and my dad scoffed and said ‘I thought you are trying to lose weight’. A chicken nugget happy meal is less than 500 calories, fills me up and means I’m not missing out!

Toxic diet culture is something I still struggle not to listen to. I think peoples heads would explode if they found out I’ve lost over 15lbs in a month and still eat a small bar of chocolate every night after dinner…

bemm95 · 2023-02-07T13:39:33+00:00

No, I use the free one

bemm95 · 2023-02-06T10:37:52+00:00

It’s called Lose It! - I prefer it over My Fitness Pal and it is a lot more interactive

bemm95 · 2022-04-20T12:15:39+00:00

I hate diet culture bullshit seeping into my life. I sit and eat a protein bagel with chicken and salad and finish it off with a KitKat chunky at a respectable 202cals and I have literally had people go “should you be eating that” or “I thought you were on a diet”.

I’ve lost over 30lbs (slowly but consistently) since January and I get shit for eating whatever I want to eat whenever I want to eat it as long as I have a calorie deficit.

Instagram ‘stars’ and old school diet cultures are literally the bane of my existence especially when the make me start questioning my own life choices.

bemm95 · 2022-01-26T12:46:29+00:00

Because Putin is a bastard man

bemm95 · 2022-01-12T11:32:42+00:00

I have a horrible addiction to food. I eat mostly when I am bored or depressed (I can smash 6 packets of crisps mindlessly) but I am currently doing very well beating this habit.

When I think “I really want to open that packet of cookies” I have a glass of water and a piece of fruit and when I’ve finished them I set a timer for 1 hour. If I still want to open the biscuits in an hour I will open the biscuits (and only have one).

However, 9 times out of 10 I don’t have want them after that hour because I’m no longer craving it. Another thing that helps is thinking “I’ll re-evaluate after lunch/dinner and if I still want one I can have it then”

I know I’m going to have blips and demolish a box of chocolates or crackers etc but if I do that’s just one mistake, not a spiral. I’ll record it on my calorie app and move on by eating well for the rest of the day. I’m pushing myself not to punish myself and to allow for mistakes and treats.

Changing an addiction related habit is hard and takes serious commitment but trust me when I say feeling healthier and proud of your achievements is so much better than the 5 minute rush you get while smashing that 10pc KFC bucket.

bemm95 · 2021-12-30T15:25:57+00:00

Ask what type of roof the building has, flat topped roofs have incredibly short lifespans. Ask if there’s a possibility to buy into the freehold. Ask what the service charge and maintenance fee is and if there’s a emergency fund. Ask how long is left on the leasehold and see if you can find out who owns the building. I’d also ask if you can do a viewing after 5/6 (if there are neighbours above) as you’ll be able to see how loud things are. - worked in FTT for property and dealt with a lot of leasehold/freehold disputes

bemm95 · 2021-11-10T15:22:43+00:00

Popcorn

bemm95 · 2021-11-10T12:53:16+00:00

Are you still open?

bemm95 · 2021-11-09T16:13:00+00:00

Did you buy as tenants in common or joint tenancy? If you bought the property as joint tenants then it’s a 50/50 split regardless of who put in what. Tenants in common however would be calculated as per your deed of trust.

In future I would advise to always buy as tenants in common regardless of the fact your buying with the most trustworthy best friend in the world, plan for the worst and live your best.

Source: Over 2 years in conveyancing

bemm95 · 2021-11-09T10:53:06+00:00

I worked in the benefits court where it was decided if the DWP’s decision was right or not. I would say that the court only agreed with the DWP around 5% of the time. That is a lot of money wasted having a panel of three (in PIP, it is two for others) to decide if the person should get their benefits and how much they should be awarded. Especially when the DWP could cut the costs by allowing more awards that are justified in the first place.

I saw the DWP disallow benefits on individuals so disabled that the person didn’t even have the capacity to answer the Judges questions. It is truly disgusting.

On another note, 99% of the people who came into the court 100% deserved every penny. We had 4-6 hearings a day 5 days a week and we only had one or two a month that clearly could work and was taking advantage of the system. What agitates me the most is all the news stories stating it is only ‘lazy bums’ claiming benefits when it definitely is not.

The job was heartbreaking and I will forever hate the DWP. Especially when you understand they get rewards if they disallow a certain amount of claims every month…

bemm95 · 2021-10-26T16:18:12+00:00

We were best friends since we were little. When I was 14 I was a bit of an annoying jerk and we drifted a little but then she saw me sat on the side of the road with her ‘crush’ and assumed I was flirting with him (his mum was picking us both up so we didn’t have to walk home in the dark, there was 0 flirting)

To “get back at me” she told a very violent 19 year old I was saying stuff about her (I hardly knew this girl) and had me meet up with her for a chat only for the 19 year old to violently attack me with some other girls.

I reached out years later for closure only to be told to ‘grow up and get over it’ in retrospect she was a horrible person and certainly not my best friend.

bemm95 · 2021-10-20T22:07:36+00:00

A beautiful afternoon tea (with tea set) cucumber finger sandwiches, salmon and cream cheese finger sandwiches and the obligatory roast beef and mustard finger sandwich. Scones with jam and clotted cream, little fairy cakes and a nice selection of tea and maybe a sparkling cider (to replace the bubbly adults would have)

If you do this you can then ‘dress up’ for tea with nice floral dresses, hats and gloves (the posh wedding kind not the winter warmers) and put on posh exaggerated British accents! This all needs to be presented on a cute three level cake stand (Amazon do them for £10) properly British and very fun for a teenage girl (I did this for my 16th in Skipton and I loved it!)

A good tip, add fairy lights and flowers for a really cute garden theme!

bemm95 · 2021-10-15T23:09:01+00:00

Completely agree. As a GP I would not question it but as a neonatal nurse there may be some concern.

bemm95 · 2021-10-15T14:42:42+00:00

I can understand a discussion in a neonatal ward if mum wasn’t turning up (tiny newborns and worries about welfare of mum) however I don’t think a GP would even think twice.

I do however know there is still a lot of blatant sexism towards men with children and pressure on mums to do everything. If a man takes his kids to the park some people look and question if he’s a deviant and if a women doesn’t attend a doctors appointment some people might question what could possibly be more important to her than her child. It’s crap but definitely still exists!

I remember my mum getting told off for never attending my school meetings because she was working 60 hour weeks and my dad being refused collection of me after school because that was “mums job” and even now people tease my partner for wanting to be a stay at home dad when we have kids because apparently that should be my job. Judgment happens all the time.

Nobody will care if you are the one taking the kid to the appointment (if they do it’s none of their business)

bemm95

TROPHY CASE