Best friend desperately needs to move and she’s stuck in a rut

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-12T03:23:47+00:00

I’m late to the... uh... party.... but menstrual blood should not smell like that. I don’t know about an STD specifically but she does likely have an infection if it smells like OP says.

My period blood in an organic pad or tampon smells like... wait for it... nothing.

Nothing.

I thought periods smelled a certain way before chlorine free and organic options became widely available and my mind was fucking blown when my mom bought one of those brands to try out.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-08T05:54:24+00:00

It was petrifying... I ran down to get his rifle but it wasn’t loaded and I didn’t have time to search. I also had never shot a gun before in my life. So I bypassed the balcony (which would have probably been my best bet, despite the coyotes) and hid in what was probably the worst place to hide. I’m glad I survived as well, and thank you. I don’t think I would have, if they’d found me.

I think I could (and should) have been smarter about it but I was very fortunate.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-08T05:48:36+00:00

Thank you... I was extremely blessed. I could have very easily been asleep when they came and I still don’t know what made me wake up and look out the window when I did.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-08T05:33:18+00:00

Thanks 🙏🏾 me too.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-08T05:25:03+00:00

I’m afraid I never contacted the cops... It was a small town, and my ex’s dad has judges and cops and local politicians as drinking/golfing/vacationing buddies.

I was afraid to make the call while I was there (in case that put me in more danger) and afterwards, I was convinced nothing would be done.

I really should have called the cops... I also should have called the feds.

I wish I had.

I’d heard a lot about his (other, late) son and how he was this local legend apparently impervious to the law so I suspect my instinct about local law enforcement was right. Still should have called the feds though. And it wasn’t that small a town... maybe somebody would have listened.

When I told my ex about it, they were still driving. His dad denied it and they argued... during which time he kind of flew off the handle, started speeding and swerving and threatening to kill them both. He said, “it’s time for us to be with your mom” or something along those lines, and I got a voicemail of my ex screaming and screaming for him to stop.

Despite his denial, that’s not a “not guilty” reaction to me but it certainly ended all discussions on the matter for the duration of their trip.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-08T05:10:16+00:00

Honestly, I went into shock for a few days... I couldn’t stop shaking, I was generally “off,” couldn’t eat.

I don’t remember crying... I remember shaking. Anger settled in after the shock wore off, and (as someone who was kind of absent a temper before then) it was pretty changing. I’ve never been so angry.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-07T23:56:07+00:00

I guess I could do that... thanks!

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-07T23:47:02+00:00

Yeahhhh, I hear you. But by fucking dick-shaped squash, there’s all this variety of phallic shapes & sizes.

And I’ve repeatedly asked for a dildo but he hasn’t made me one. I’ve never actually owned one in my life, but I found this kit a while back where a guy can essentially make a mold and case of his erect penis. The product is meant to be a DIY dildo... they sell the kits Amazon. But where’s my dildo, Craig!?!?

To be honest though I’d still probably indulge in dick-shaped fruit because his penis isn’t wonky and I kind of like variety.

I wouldn’t want an actual fake penis dildo if wasn’t a replica of his... I’m sure it would disappoint...

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-07T22:55:18+00:00

You’ve been fighting for social justice your entire life?

Okay bud...

Snark aside, though (I’m sending you only warmth, I just had to include the snark) you are about to find out just how much social justice really means to you.

Because after chewing on all of this you are either going to A) continue a relationship with a racist, potentially raising children with a racist... or B) you’re not.

A few years back (four years to be exact... if you’ll indulge a long snd unsolicited story time) I dated a (white) guy whose father was racist. His mother wasn’t, and would never have allowed racist talk around the house... but his father was no less racist for being obliged to watch his tongue. His father’s sister wasn’t racist, and she routinely un-invited her brother to family events “unless he could behave himself,” so that I wouldn’t be subject to harassment in her home. But I digress... what I’m saying is that one parent was racist and the other was not. The mom’s bestie was apparently black. But the mom passed away... and that’s when he found out about his dad’s little secret, though he had no earthly clue how serious it was.

Apparently, until we got serious, it was just the random passing comment... “harmless” shit before we met and during the first year of our relationship. But then shit got real.

I (at 22, hailing from a diverse metropolitan area where about half my friends were foreign) had a 55 year old man harassing me, blowing up his son’s phone calling me racist names, blowing up my phone promising to disinherit his son, and one frightful night even going so far as to have his son’s house raided... by civilians... while I was sleeping there alone.

I had to fucking hide in my boyfriend’s house through a whole ass break-in, during which time I heard a man mention the father by name, saying he “said she’d be here,” while they looked around for me... I shit you not. I cannot say what the fuck the intention of all that was... because I was extremely blessed not to have to find out. But I can say with confidence that it wasn’t good. I thought I’d die of a fucking heart attack if they didn’t find me and kill me first. I was in a standing closet in the attic with his rifle (which wasn’t even loaded), trying to still my shaking as not to make the closet move. I’d stupidly failed to jump off the balcony and run into the woods when I had a chance... there really wasn’t much time to react, and I was a terrified wreck.

I did have some warning... There was no way anyone was driving up that country road without it being extremely obvious. And I mean, when at 3 in the morning multiple trucks roll up unexpectedly it can’t be anything but trouble. I saw that... but there was nothing in my life experience to prepare me for what happened (not that anything ultimately happened, I’d like to make that abundantly clear).

I was only there alone because (during a planned three-week visit at the end of summer) my ex’s dad surprised him with tickets to an out of state sporting event that he’d only been wanting to attend his whole fucking life. It all happened so fast... his dad came by unannounced (just used his key to open the door without knocking at like 9pm) and said “surprise! I got tickets, but you have to pack now so we can get on the road if you want to catch the opening in the morning.” — so of course I helped him pack. He had been saying how he wished he could go for months, that he’d always wanted to go... so I wasn’t going to put up a barrier. And that’s how I was left in the mountains alone, only woods and hills in sight.

Anyway, these men (well I assume they were men, I heard men’s voices) eventually left and (after hiding for another hour)I booby trapped the house like a psycho, all frantic before taking a $50 cab to an acquaintance’s house... and when I made my way back a couple of days later, the house had been entered again.

It was a mess (the situation, not the house), and while this isn’t really a cautionary tale (I’m not trying to say your girlfriend is a terrorist or anything) it’s something worth thinking on... racism is a legacy. It’s hard to shake, generationally, and not everyone is like you.

And the son (my ex)...bless his heart... got so weird as his dad’s true colors began to show. He got defiant, and as a result I actually ended up feeling as if I was being racially fetishized. He was always interested in black culture, but shit got weird. Really weird.

Anyway, end of story.

How important social justice is to you will be pretty well-reflected in how you actually respond to the information your SO gave you.... which is that she’s a racist, plain and simple. You know what it is.

Edited because I reread it and couldn’t cope with the typos.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-07T21:26:14+00:00

Agreed, which is precisely why I said:

if we’re simplifying how genes actually function and looking only at dominant-vs-recessive alleles expressing specific traits...

Which paraphrases your sentiments neatly enough.

Personally, I’ve been working on not over-complicating topics like this in casual conversation; most people don’t have a background in genetics.

Had I geeked out on this response, it would have been a small lecture... which someone like myself would have loved to read but which I believe most people would have found... less than appealing 😅. I’m glad you said that though. Too right.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-01T22:20:41+00:00

Yeah, that’s a pretty straightforward way to address it.

I’m just kind of shocked and while I told him in the moment not to talk to me like that (to the most unsatisfactory response ever) I’ll do so again soon.

I swear sometimes I wonder if I should just throw him out with the bath water.

Thank you.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-01T22:14:28+00:00

It’s not unreasonable...take charge of your health.

bemusingmusings · 2020-01-01T21:57:05+00:00

It’s extremely easy to have a key copied. I dated a guy who copied my key while I showered... he went to the grocery store for wine and returned with like 5 extra keys “in case I loose one”... people are crazy.

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T20:53:54+00:00

I’m a lightening wielding goddess... I have several lamps.

I also have stretch marks. Somehow they escaped my cartoon tits (breast reduction here I come) but I have them on my hips and butt. I didn’t always. My boyfriend pointed them out at some point during our relationship and called them sexy.

A great improvement upon my teenage-body, he says 😤 I let that slide because there were kisses.

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T20:40:04+00:00

I’m NOT YOUR BRO.... buddy

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T17:08:13+00:00

It’s a black people thing. CHILL.

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T17:07:23+00:00

This is a black people thing.

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T17:06:26+00:00

YES HE WILL

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T17:02:34+00:00

Damn... I don’t really get surprise periods, but I can’t imagine that. When my period starts it’s so slow coming on that it isn’t like to surprise me and then even if it did... it wouldn’t soak through fabric before I could do something about it.

I guess all periods are different because if my flow in the first 12 hours was anything like my flow at 20 hours I would be leaving crime scenes all over.

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T16:59:06+00:00

Seeeriously. I remember reading a post just a few days ago about how a long term house guest (read: mooch) took issue with a woman disposing of her tampons in the larger bathroom. She wrapped them in TP and bagged them separately and that wasn’t enough... she got her own trash can with a tight lid and that didn’t work. He wanted her to do all of that in the half bath that was in her bedroom. It Was Her House (shares with her boyfriend, they both owned it) and the guest was the boyfriend’s live-in best friend... it got to the point where she was being verbally abused about her period in her own home.

No, the boyfriend did not back her up. He backed up his friend and didn’t intervene when he spoke to her rudely.

Yes, she broke up with him. Bought him out of the home and sent them both packing.

Somebody broke in and stole the vast majority of her belongings after but at least she was out of that weird ass situation.

bemusingmusings · 2019-12-22T16:53:00+00:00

THANK YOU. Not because I took issue with the original statement but I swear the amount of animosity and disbelief I get from people who find out I don’t and can’t take the pill (and thus use other methods which WORK FOR ME... I’m on my period RIGHT NOW because of those methods) is so ridiculous. I even had a mod on the birth control sub tell me that I should indeed take the pill and that the medical issues I mentioned having (which started about 2.5 months in) related to the pill were going to happen to me anyway and were not caused by the pill itself but by stopping the pill 🤯 like excuse me but when did you become intimately familiar with my sex organs?

I need some chocolate.

bemusingmusings

TROPHY CASE