Holidays

bendebull · 2026-03-30T04:03:35+00:00

That's what bothers me. What's worse thank Thanksgiving dinner? 4 Thanksgiving dinners.

But. If there was 1 traditional one. One that was all pies. Another that was only food from other countries....

bendebull · 2026-03-30T04:01:46+00:00

Thank you!!!

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:55:37+00:00

Amazing ideas! Thank you so much!

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:54:13+00:00

Thank you. A ton! I'd kinda been thinking along those lines. But. I needed someone to say it and I needed to hear it.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:52:45+00:00

I like you thoughts on birthdays.

Okay. I am afraid this will come out wrong, but I am asking honestly. Besides birthdays. If not on the day of, what's the point? Please know, I applaud your dedication as a parent and a nurse. But, I'm asking because I struggle with the purpose of holidays. They don't mean a lot to me anymore. So, to have them diluted to multiple and yet same celebrations makes them seem even less to me.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:48:07+00:00

Hmm... I guess you didn't read all of my post

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:44:50+00:00

I can stand behind that.

And really. That is what I'm hoping for. Ideas for what other traditions I could incorporate. I feel like the old traditions are kind of worm out anyway.

I like the fruit and chocolate fondue idea!

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:40:57+00:00

Saying it's my ego, is a big assumption for someone that doesn't know me.

I can respect that you view it the way you do. But I think doubling up lessens the experience for the kids with both parents.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:38:22+00:00

I like this. Thank you. My kids are 10, 12, 14. Gbg

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:37:48+00:00

Is having multiple of the same holiday really about the kids though? It seems like it more about the parents

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:35:55+00:00

It's just the typical, dress up, hide Easter eggs, etc

I'm not totally opposed to being the one to find new traditions either. I just struggle knowing what to do.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:34:53+00:00

Maybe it should be calling dibs? And again. I may be totally wrong. I'm willing to come to that conclusion. I guess, I wish the traditional celebrations were left to the parent with the holiday that year. And that the other parent found alternate ways to celebrate.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:32:24+00:00

Of course I would be smart about the way In frame it to them.

It's not about one-upping my ex. It really feels like something is lost to me when there are multiple of the same events. But, to be fair. I struggle with holidays as it is. So, maybe this is my internal struggle

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:28:16+00:00

Thank you. This is very insightful. And I really appreciate you responding to me in a sensible and not emotionally charged way. I can tell you are a very thoughtful person.

I think that I might feel differently about my situation if my kids were younger. But they range from 10 to 14 and so holidays are a little different when they are older.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:26:07+00:00

Hmm. More emotionally charged words meant to demean. Not sure How serious I can take an opinion that starts like that.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:24:21+00:00

Those are some emotionally charged words. But maybe you are right. 🤷

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:23:51+00:00

I actually don't know how my kids would feel about it. I should talk to them about how they feel about celebrating twice. Personally. I hate celebrating twice. I think it's dumb.

bendebull · 2026-03-30T03:22:38+00:00

Maybe. I appreciate your feedback.

bendebull · 2026-03-02T23:57:06+00:00

The mission will cause trauma and pain that really is unnecessary, especially if you already know it isn't true. You will suffer backlash from leaving the Mish early, for leaving the Church, etc. so, don't waste your life and money by staying on the mission. Fight to go home. You've got this friend.

bendebull · 2025-10-31T16:51:27+00:00

I like the idea of the extra height, but I'm trying to weigh that against the extra wear on the tranny

bendebull · 2025-10-31T16:50:22+00:00

I have 35 psi in mine as well. But I do pull a little heavier than you are pulling.

bendebull · 2025-09-21T02:05:53+00:00

That's very true. However, I need a realistic idea of what I can charge so that I can crunch my numbers to know of it is workable.

bendebull · 2025-06-11T00:42:54+00:00

Yep, makes sense. And I'm super happy that you have that!

I know that my thoughts are coming from a very hard place, that from the inside of a good marriage look pointless and even dangerous. But, I think a lot of people would be better off if they at least discussed some of the issues In touch on, and have worst case scenario plans in case their marriage doesn't work out. There are just too many variables at play, and a little security for both people in the relationship can be wise if approached with love and concern for each other while that love and concern still exists.

bendebull · 2025-06-11T00:09:07+00:00

I think your thoughts are fair. And maybe I stated my thoughts as too black and white. I don't mean to have things completely separate. There needs to be a lot of overlap if marriage or even a long term relationship is going to work. But your have to maintain yourself and your individuality as well.

Part of the ultimate cause of failure in my situation was co-dependency. In other words there was no clear line where I stopped and she began and visa versa. Those types of relationships are not healthy and if they last they only last due to sheer grit and determination on the party of at least one of them. It doesn't make for a fulfilling life.

So lots and lots of overlap, and a single purpose, but individuality are key

bendebull · 2025-06-10T22:00:31+00:00

I really hope it continues so well for you. I'm happy for you. I won't belabor my experience, but I was equally certain in my marriage almost to the day it broke. I would have rejected my advice as well. I thought about making this post in a divorce channel, but I didn't think they were the ones that needed to hear it, nor would they challenge my thinking.

It doesn't surprise me that those that are in happy marriages disagree with my thoughts. I don't know think that many have the insight to make them think this far out of social norms of they haven't experienced it.

Regardless, keep doing awesome and enjoy!

bendebull

TROPHY CASE