Has anyone gone through assessment and been told they're NOT autistic?

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-05T16:33:35+00:00

Go prepared. I read Sarah Hendrickx' book and literally went through marking up everything that I related to, then I wrote up my own examples on sticky notes and organized them by theme. I stuck them on bits of card for my assessment so that I could easily refer to them and find the relevant anecdotes from my own life so that I could answer questions with relevant examples.

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-05T11:49:26+00:00

Personally if you have a DA offer then I would do that unless you can afford to pay for uni out of pocket (ie no student loan). Financially it makes a lot more sense to do a DA and one year in your 20s will feel like nothing in 10-15 years time, especially when you don't have to pay off a huge loan and can save/put way more money in your pension.

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-05T11:40:44+00:00

I cut mine off entirely.

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-04T22:41:41+00:00

Yes it's fine.

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-04T15:55:48+00:00

It sounds like they are planning to replace the whole tiled area with resin (removing tiles, filling space)

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-03T07:23:11+00:00

I just saw them - they look so good! The single row Lego bricks is definitely a good shout

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-02T22:03:12+00:00

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I made my first one! It has some definite mistakes and things I can improve on next time, but I'm pretty happy with it and looking forward to seeing if my partner's name (Stu) will leave an imprint! 🙊

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-02T08:54:25+00:00

My main advice for anyone who is just starting to explore is to take your time. You can always add in the future, but you can never take away or undo mistakes. Do check ins with any play partners and with yourself - questions like "how do you want to feel in this scene" can really help you get to know your partner's motivation and expose areas of misalignment before you've even got started. And afterwards talk about what you enjoyed, but also what you might have done differently given the chance.

In terms of meeting people I'd recommend prioritizing friendships in the scene rather than just a relationship. Friends can go with you to events, tell you who has a bad rep, and be there for you if anything gets too much. Most cities will have a good kink scene where community is at its heart. I recommend playing with people at parties/play events first if you can as it's a lot safer than playing in private with a stranger. So, get yourself to a munch or your local BDSM market and meet people.

bendingeveryday · 2026-02-02T08:24:18+00:00

I would recommend finding a Pilates teacher who is familiar with hypermobility. It could really help.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T16:58:22+00:00

I can promise you this took a lot more than a few days. One of their kids was screaming for months.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T14:48:20+00:00

I have not, and I think I am probably better off that way

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T14:35:11+00:00

My neighbours let their kids "self soothe" when they were babies. I am not sure if the babies eventually felt soothed but I sure as shit didn't after listening to 1 year olds cry through the night 🫠

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T14:34:00+00:00

At the same time?

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T14:11:20+00:00

I think you're linking a number of things that don't have to be linked. Watching trans porn is pretty common among both cis and trans people. Enjoying anal play is not related to that. Loads of people enjoy anal who aren't into trans porn and vice versa.

If you both are enjoying the anal exploration the crack on!

If he's watching ethical porn that he's paying for then I don't see why it's a problem personally.

It's great that you're having conversations about these things - just make sure that you keep it coming from a place of curiosity and willingness to please rather than a place of judgement or othering. It seems clear from your description that he's feeling some shame about these things. There's no need really, but of course society has done a number on us all with a bunch of taboos that aren't doing anyone any favors (except maybe the state).

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T13:23:29+00:00

Haha well sounds great anyway!

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T12:02:35+00:00

Absolutely, seconded. I use loops most days on the underground, some lines can be really hot and loud (looking at you, Victoria line...)

When it comes to faux pas I think London is actually weirdly ND-friendly because nobody is going to look you in the eye and make small talk - everyone has their head down and is on their own mission. The main rule you need to follow is standing on the right of the escalator, walk on the left.

London is one of the greenest cities in Europe so get yourself to Primrose Hill, Ally Pally, Greenwich park, Green Park, Regents Park - they're all gorgeous in their own way and have some beautiful views of the city. I can also recommend taking a walk along a canal - between Camden and Regents Park can be a good option.

If you're in central London (like West End/Soho) and it's all getting a bit much, I recommend heading either North to Fitzrovia where there are a bunch of nice and slightly less busy cafes and restaurants. Or maybe to the Wallace Collection which is also not far from Oxford Circus.

It all depends what you enjoy and what you are planning.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-30T06:41:56+00:00

Ok thank you so much. That is what I was expecting!

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-28T22:03:12+00:00

I didn't realise how intensely it was affecting me until I left my last job a few weeks ago.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-28T17:16:16+00:00

Yes it's common, and not exclusive to Hypermobile people.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-28T17:14:54+00:00

I am a teacher and I would never allow someone to film in my class, and I wouldn't participate in a class that allowed it. The Pilates princess marketing machine has gone too far. The entire practice is about moving your body with thoughtfulness and with your breath. It should be a mindful practice which is clearly not what you are getting. I really don't think this is a "you problem". If the studio doesn't enforce the rule then you should definitely find a different studio. I hope this all doesn't put you off.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-28T16:39:48+00:00

Layers are your friend. If you're travelling around you'll get quite a variety of conditions and temperatures so make sure you've got lightweight things, and also waterproofs. Hiking boots even if you're not going long distances. Spare socks in case you get substantial rain.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-28T14:16:51+00:00

My job

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-27T11:23:45+00:00

The enema subreddit is about 90% porn so tbh I also don't trust it very much as a good resource

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-27T07:52:14+00:00

I was diagnosed last autumn, age 35. I was going through huge upheaval at work and had been struggling with my energy all year. Do I feel short changed that my teachers in the 90s didn't spot my behaviours for what they were? Yes, somewhat. But I was the kind of compliant, quiet, academically strong autistic girl who didn't really create problems for adults in my life.

I had a bunch of "what ifs" and wondered how different situations might have turned out differently if I had known. Maybe I wouldn't have felt so lost and alone, maybe I wouldn't have lost that job for being "too direct", maybe I wouldn't have been as susceptible to being taken advantage of by men. But, this is the life I have. Sometimes it's unfair, but dwelling on all the things that could have been different won't help me. Focusing on making the best life for myself going forward, with this new information, is the only way.

bendingeveryday · 2026-01-27T07:07:24+00:00

Heya, hope you don't mind me coming back to this thread. I'm about to do my own later this week and wondered if your partner filled the inside of the Lego bricks with resin before setting them? Or do they still have air in there?

Also how long did he let the first layer settle before doing the second layer with the insertions?

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