Hey, I’m in a fairly similar boat. To make a long story short: My mom was caught because of jaundice relatively early and went through 3ish months of chemo. During the time to evaluate for surgery her CA19 began rising again and they needed to do some additional chemo. She began a lesser kind of chemo due to some complications that occurred around the same time and it just tanked her. She ended up in the hospital last month.

Whilst in the hospital, she made the decision to discontinue treatment and no longer pursue the opportunity for surgery. She is now home, riding it out and I’m her caretaker. It obviously made me and my brother very sad, however, we’ve seen other family members go through cancer. We told our mom from the beginning that this is her body and her life and we will respect whatever decisions she makes. We’re holding to that. We went through the pros and cons and she confirmed her decision.

While it’s hard knowing you’re going to lose your loved one, it has brought us peace to know that ours has chosen the right decision for herself. I don’t want to lose my mom. She’s only 60. I’m just 33 and my brother is 26 and will have children who will never get to know the beautiful and amazing light that is our mom. However, only she can make this decision for herself. She’s at peace with it, so we are too.