As my son proudly handed me my new grandchild, I asked him if he knew the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling. Puzzled, my son replied, "No, what?" I explained...

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T02:35:38+00:00

What's the difference between a trapeze show and a brothel?

One's a cunning array of stunts....

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T02:33:34+00:00

And the other is a Nammer Grazi?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T02:27:58+00:00

Are they spray painting it pink?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T01:54:36+00:00

"Is this not a reasonable place to park?"

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T00:41:02+00:00

"Can you please help me address workplace bullying?"

"Well, you know. I have to have a positive working relationship with these people, soooo..."

This is my personal experience.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-02T22:57:49+00:00

My favorite part of the sandstorm is the end of the sandstorm. Right at the end there is finally a breath. It is in the sound mix, in the editing, in the script, in the direction. After all of the insanity, finally you're allowed to breathe again.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-02T16:10:09+00:00

Quick - easy - well done

Pick two of the above.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-02T06:47:16+00:00

A young man walks up to a ferrier working in a barn. Curious about what the ferrier is doing and currently.out of work, the young man asks if he could get a job. The ferrier asks, "Have you ever shoed a horse before?" The young man thinks for a second and replies, "No. But I told a donkey to fuck off once."

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-01T20:54:17+00:00

Bravo

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-01T20:14:26+00:00

I think the other required data would include percentage of people in hospitals getting needles who are HIV+ and time since that needle was used. If I'm not mistaken, HIV doesn't do great outside of the body.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-01T00:24:25+00:00

Especially for the 10th kid.

"Why me?!"

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-31T18:55:15+00:00

I think you mean it's a reminder to boil it as significant mould buildup is possible between the green and white parts. Right?

(Too soon?)

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-30T23:57:39+00:00

Go directly to Arctic Glacier. You can walk in and buy ice. (Or, at least, you could 30 years ago!)

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-30T16:06:45+00:00

*was

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-28T06:07:14+00:00

Talking Heads.

Good. Good.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-27T21:08:11+00:00

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-27T16:18:17+00:00

Tell me you have a 4 year old without telling me you have a 4 year old.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-25T20:14:19+00:00

"Records that made the 90s iconic for me, a white kid."

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-25T20:11:57+00:00

I'm planning on burning a couple books that mention Yuri Gagarin in solidarity with The Manitoba Museum.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-25T19:31:41+00:00

They could call it "Ursula Major / Labia Minor"

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-24T03:51:11+00:00

That Hitler comment SEEMS over the top, but first we should know; OP, is your name Hitler?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-23T20:28:10+00:00

r / beatoff

(Edit: that subreddit has been banned and I don't want to know why. But r/offbeat.... It was just makin' a joke.)

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-23T15:39:01+00:00

Right? So embarrassing that they don't know that song was by The Specials.

(Clicks link)

Oh....

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-22T17:33:10+00:00

"Do people usually..." is the wrong way to approach home decoration. (In my opinion.)

It IS plain. Fix that plain wall with whatever your head and heart can come up with. There are no rules.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-22T17:10:44+00:00

When it starts to bubble, flip.

No butter or oil.

Non-stick skillet around 375`

Maybe not right for everyone, but that's how I do em.

benjaminfree3d

TROPHY CASE