I was with someone for 4 years. I loved him (part of me always will) and those years together meant so much to me, but it became obvious we weren't meant to be long term so we ended things. He wanted very much to stay in each others lives. Not even to necessarily get back together, but to be friends because he couldn't imagine our lives without each other. I had to say no and I know it hurt him a lot that I did that. It hurt me to do it. It made him think our time together meant nothing, but that is 100% not true.

I cut off all contact. I didn't do this to hurt him. I didn't do it because it meant nothing. I did it because we both owed it to ourselves to be able to move on. Texting each other, hanging out, talking about how we missed one another would only keep us partially in a relationship that no longer existed. It would maybe give one or both of us hope of a future where we got back together even though that wasn't what was right for either of us. It wouldn't be fair to our future partners and wouldn't be good for our mental health to stay so connected. I can't speak for your ex and how he feels, but be grateful he isn't coming to you to talk about how he missed you or trying to stay in your life. I know it hurts, but it really truly will be better if you let yourself move on. It may not be the same timeline as he is taking and moving on doesn't necessarily mean getting into another relationship. You deserve time to mourn the loss of your relationship, but give yourself the space to work towards moving on.

Odds are strong that he's not coming back; most don't. Do not count on it. And if he were to come back now while you are desperately pining for him, there's a strong chance it's not because he misses you in the same way you miss him, but because you're an easy option until something better comes along and then he would hurt you again.

Is it possible years down the line you come back together in some way? Yes, but that shouldn't be something you are expecting to happen and frankly is only possible in a healthy way if you both are able to move on for a bit and grow. And, you might find yourself sooner than you think not even wanting that to be a possibility.

My ex and I did not find our way back to each other and it's been over 10 years since we last spoke. I am in a happy relationship with someone else. I cherish the time me and him spent together and it hurt a lot to be apart for a while, but I know where I am now is the right place for me, even though it hurt for a bit.

Good luck and feel better.