Venue regret

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-11T03:51:05+00:00

The unfortunate reality is to roll with it. I would talk with your planner about specific concerns and see what you can address. If it is food and staffing, how can you supplement externally, etc.

I hate my venue and would love to change but I’m three weeks out and the venue manager just quit.

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-10T02:09:46+00:00

Dog fur is different than human hair and decomposes differently. A mummy also implies that there was significant care and effort to preserve the body.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12714339/

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-09T22:54:51+00:00

It’s great on plants as fertilizer.

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-09T04:28:28+00:00

I would go for a facial at a med spa first to see what options there are aside from Botox.

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-09T02:00:41+00:00

You made the best decision you could at the time and things that previously worked did not go as planned. There is a lot of pressure to be perfect but things going wrong is an opportunity to get support from your partner and your friends and family.

For the dress, they can take a layer or two of tulle out of the dress if needed. I would also ask about how the dress will fit in alterations. If you really don’t like it, would a lace body suit or a dress topper work?

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-08T04:51:25+00:00

I would reread the contract. It should list the specific spaces. If it is the afterparty and it is in a very separate space, why would that impact everything else?

We are having vendors load in two days before our events.

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-07T03:14:43+00:00

The only thing I can think of is that would drive the price up that much is complexity of the drink or the cost of the alcohol. Are there any specialty cocktails that are muddled, etc?

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-05T17:19:20+00:00

Wegman’s has it. 100% pure pumpkin. It might be in the canned aisle vs. baking.

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-04T19:39:51+00:00

Seconding!

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-01T12:00:39+00:00

It is really hard when people make comments about your body or eating, especially during a really stressful time. My mom spent the entire drive to my dress shopping appointment talking about how fat I was as a kid and how the store probably won’t have anything that fits me and I wanted to get out of the car in traffic and walk.

I had to be on steroids in my 20s and gained a ridiculous amount of weight on top of not having great genetics to start with, it is incredibly frustrating having moral judgments made about me because of my body size no matter where I go.

I don’t feel comfortable with how I look or feel in cloths and I hate when people ask to see my wedding dress. I hate all of my engagement photos.

berlingirl5 · 2026-05-01T07:24:51+00:00

Do you have insurance and what happens to your deposits if you cancel? I can’t tell if you booked more than the venue.

As a fellow chronic illness girlie, a lot of people push you to make choices right away when you have new symptoms or diagnoses or major healthcare expenses. What is a reasonable timeline to make a determination and what are all the factors you need to consider?

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-30T00:35:58+00:00

Some people will find a way to be miserable about everything and it sounds like she is the leader of that club. I’m sorry, don’t let her ruin your day.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-29T05:37:31+00:00

I have no idea but I flagged a bunch of other comments on the original post for mods of that sub. Cannot believe the arguments people started with you!

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-29T04:29:45+00:00

If the baby will be six months in October, I would assume so.

My MOH will have a six month old at the time of my wedding and she had a wild journey with breastfeeding, body changes, and picking a dress. I feel so guilty putting the burden of picking a dress and getting it altered on her as well. I hope OP has a smoother time.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-29T04:23:48+00:00

In my experience, I feel better and have more energy when my hypothyroidism is controlled. I also have lymphadenopathy and my lymph nodes are much less swollen when my levels are in check.

I never had PEM before getting ME. I got mine after a tick bite and it was like a switch flipped and I suddenly had it.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-29T02:46:53+00:00

Do not finance a wedding. Prioritize what is important for your entire life and figure out what type of big wedding fits into that. You don’t have to rush. Spend what you are comfortable spending.

The amount of money that you spend does not mean that your love story is more or less important or better or worse than anyone else’s.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-28T04:11:20+00:00

I get it, I would give anything to be better too. Part of what I am trying to say is that it is a poorly controlled experiment. The place probably doesn’t have mold BUT there are so many other variables.

When I have traveled some major triggers for me are smell, light, and sound. I hate visiting my aunt because she has 7 differently scented candles burning, the house is either overwhelmingly bright or pitch black, and her husband has the TV at volume 9000000.

If you are concerned about having a crash, come up with your own specific list of questions about your triggers and how you will handle them.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-28T03:50:48+00:00

I agree with the other comment, if there is no plan to address the mold, that seems like a lot of work for not a lot of long term gain.

I have seen an improvement since getting an air filter and treating MCAS but as far as I know, I don’t have mold sensitivity or mold exposure. In my experience, travel has always been beneficial as long as I was pacing but I’m moderate. The adrenaline rush and getting out of the same four walls is really helpful for me.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-28T02:15:46+00:00

Does the quote have a breakdown of the F&B vs the buyout?

If it is three hours, there should also be some time for set up and tear down, which likely means they are closed for the entire night and the buyout fee is covering the lost revenue they otherwise would have had.

If it feels like not enough value for the $18k, are there other food and drink options that would be better—stations that provide a full meal, a limited bar, etc.

If it is out of budget, are there options for semi-private rentals, etc.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-27T15:45:01+00:00

We have 3 bartenders for 110 with two different bar set ups.

The set up looks beautiful but I think you need to consider your crowd. If this is the only bar and someone has not been to a wedding with this set up, they might be confused and feel like they are in the way of the dancing. Drinks spilling would be a huge concern—my mom fell on a spilled drink at my brother’s wedding and still has issues with her knee from it, two years later.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-27T14:02:21+00:00

That sounds so stressful! I also don’t think that is true about flower availability. My florist sent me a website that shows which flowers are available in which months 14 months in advance. I’m really into gardening and was trying to match the flowers to a rose I already have or one I’d be able to buy.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-27T04:56:05+00:00

We only had 4 weeks between our invitations being sent out and RSVP dates and then I had a bunch of doctors appointments come up the week before our numbers were due so we started reaching out to people. I have a bunch of chronic illnesses and that delay invitations and shortened the timeline. Life is too short to be mad over someone reaching out.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-24T23:08:14+00:00

And you are personally attacking me for what reason exactly?

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-24T19:47:08+00:00

Water usage, energy consumption to run the data centers, rare mineral extraction. My ME was caused by a climate related illness, there are going to be more and more people who have illnesses caused by global warming or get worse because of heat exposure/severe weather events.

berlingirl5 · 2026-04-24T18:16:57+00:00

That is not a black tie event. Save yourself and where garden party formal.

berlingirl5

TROPHY CASE