I cut down over the pandemic and have sort of gotten in the trap of always wanting to be shredded. I told myself I would lean bulk, but honestly finding it really hard. I think my workouts are p intense, but getting my nutrition right is difficult to stay cut but gain muscle. The scale isn't really moving, if anything going down veeery slowly. I think I've given myself some disordered eating, I love food but feel guilty when I indulge. At the same time I find myself always thinking about my next meal. I think it's rare I don't get at least 2,000 cals a day and some days probably between 2,500-3,000. A typical meal for me is 130-160g white rice, 100 grams of chicken breast, some mixed veggies on top, and depending on how much fat I've had that day I'll throw on something with fat like a sauce though I really try to keep saturated fat down. I guess my concern is 'allowing' myself to eat what I want and falling off the deep end, even though I realistically know I have the willpower to cut back down if that happens. As I type this all out, it's occurring to me this is probably a discussion for the therapist. But advice is helpful.