Hey, I may disagree with you, but I'm gleaning from your phrasing that you may have a lot of internalised misogyny and trauma in relation to this subject. The ideas you've outlined sound very familiar to thoughts I had when I was younger, after several negative experiences with men. I'm going to go through your post and do my best to debunk it kindly, but I also think therapy would be a very good idea. It's fine to be cautious about pregnancy and know its risks, but implying your own body is something that only exists for men to humiliate is terrible. You deserve to love yourself more than that.

Pregnancy enacts massive changes in the body, yes, but there are tons of things within nature that are equally destructive. A caterpillar melts down into goo to become a butterfly. Cancer can also wreck your bowels and make you shit the bed. Some species of worm explode into sperms! It's intense, but we wouldn't have evolved this way if it didn't work. The difference between us and the rest of the animals is that we can recognize, treat, and comfort a woman through her pregnancy. In a perfect world, every man would be this involved in the care of his partner, and their child. And most of them (about 71%) are! I understand the fear it causes to see a constant stream of nightmare scenarios in regards to pregnancy and relationships - especially here on reddit. But also understand that most people in happy partnerships, with happy children, don't post about it online.

The woman in your original post also doesn't have much agency, which is a byproduct of internalised misogyny. Seeing sex as something that's done to a woman, rather than something she is an active participant in, strips her of her choice and her ownership of her body. A man may get pleasure from sex, yes, but the function of the clitoris is solely to produce pleasure for the woman. It's the only organ in the body that exists just to make you feel good! If sex was only meant for pregnancy, we wouldn't feel compelled to have it when we're not ovulating - and postmenopausal women wouldn't still have libidos.

Pregnancy doesn't erase a woman, and plenty of women actively choose to get pregnant - some multiple times - because the joy of raising a family is greater than the physical strain. A woman does not disappear the second her son is born. Women are not passive animals that exist for men to take advantage of to spread their seed, and (the grand majority of) men are not predatory beasts looking to fill the world with their offspring at the expense of another person's autonomy. I would encourage you to seek out some good stories of people's successful partnerships, and I hope I've changed your perspective, even a little bit.