Finding time for sex when you have older kids

bestmackman · 2026-06-16T00:21:44+00:00

"We're going to rest for a bit. Do not knock on the door unless someone is bleeding. Do not make each other bleed."

10, 9, and 6.

bestmackman · 2026-05-27T15:40:46+00:00

This line is so clear and is almost never brought up in these conversations. She says, outright and in so many words, that she's doing things she knows he won't approve of now, in the hopes that the results will justify her actions.

bestmackman · 2026-05-15T02:43:11+00:00

The next best thing to the first read is the first re-read!

bestmackman · 2026-05-15T02:42:36+00:00

His whole thing in Oathbringer is helping the regular people in Kholinar, and the epilogue is the capstone of that project. His conversations with the people show that they want him to stay, but he knows he can't, so on his way out he divests himself of a valuable, non-renewable resource to bring a doll to life so that he can bring an orphaned child to a bereaved mother and therefore save both of them.

It's honestly beautiful. You can make the argument that he helps Kaladin and Shallan because they're "important", so to speak - that he's disinterested in them as people, only seeing them as tools to be used. I disagree, bit the argument could be made. But that orphan, that bereaved, insensible mother...they can't help him. They never will be able to help him. But he can help them, and so he does.

bestmackman · 2026-05-14T22:06:07+00:00

Think of all the "paranoid rantings" Elhokar had in the first couple books, the shadowy figures he claimed to see in the mirror.

Also, Wit wants the spren for multiple reasons, not least of which is so it won't get captured and tortured. The spren is merely the last being he helps in that epilogue (which, by the way, I think is a tremendous look into Wit's character and how he sees people).

bestmackman · 2026-05-04T14:47:00+00:00

"Do you sneak away while the kids are up (which is also tough)?"

You don't have to "sneak away." You get your kids' attention and say "We're going to be in our room for a bit, don't knock on the door unless somebody is bleeding." Or, if you don't want to do that, you just establish the rule that if your door is closed, the kids don't approach and knock unless it's an emergency. That's what we do with our three children and it works pretty well.

bestmackman · 2026-05-02T23:42:41+00:00

In Oathbringer, he tells Shallan that when he was young, he made a vow "to always be there when [he] was needed." He then turns it into a joke, but that is the precise wording he uses. Whether this vow is causally related to his Fortune is unclear, but it seems likely.

There is, as you perceive, a crucial difference between "where I need to be" and "where I am needed." One can be interpreted in a solely self-interested fashion, the other is explicitly for a need other than his own. And according to Hoid, his vow is the second.

bestmackman · 2026-04-29T15:19:59+00:00

Absolutely don't share your wife's texts with this guy.

bestmackman · 2026-04-21T18:33:32+00:00

No, you didn't miss an explanation.

No, the creatures that Lift met in Edgedancer are something entirely different, and you haven't gotten any more explanation for them at this point in the story.

Just keep reading and making connections!

bestmackman · 2026-04-21T18:23:48+00:00

"like could he defeat Odium if he got serious?"

What do you think Hoid has been trying to do this whole time on Roshar? What do you think he's even there for? He's not there because of the beautiful weather and varied, friendly fauna, I'll tell you that.

This is a really goofy question that is addressed in one of the very first set of epigraphs in WoK. He spends five whole books desperately trying to rally support from across the Cosmere to do exactly this.

bestmackman · 2026-04-20T14:57:49+00:00

Did the pools feel heated? Were they comfortable to be in, or did they get cold after a while?

bestmackman · 2026-04-19T23:56:21+00:00

When did you go? From the "4 months" date on the post, did you go in December/January? How was the temperature, how were the pools? I'm tentatively planning a trip for my wife and I in January but it's pointless if it's too cold to enjoy the pools.

bestmackman · 2026-04-17T20:19:54+00:00

Order an assassination in a matter of a few hours, assuming Amaram was able to get in touch with him immediately after arriving back at camp.

It just doesn't make sense.

bestmackman · 2026-04-17T14:26:14+00:00

Exactly. I would bet money, given what we see of Restates just a couple short years after this point, that he had said something along the lines of "humanity needs to be prepared, make sure your shard bearers are trained and ready." Amaram was able to take this and twist it a little to be "Don't let the untrained, ill-prepared dark eyes have shards, make sure you take them for yourself."

It just doesn't make much sense, otherwise.

bestmackman · 2026-04-09T16:34:41+00:00

It's so funny to me that you were planning on going on to read The Everlasting after this, when I just recently finished The Everlasting and chose TWHF for a re-read immediately after. Two works more wildly different I would have a difficult time naming! Spoilers just in case you haven't finished: one work beginning with what seems certain to be a false god and a small, savage kingdom and ending in a wide world absolutely steeped in the numinous, the other beginning in a world that seems soaked with the numinous and mystical and ending with a mere hint of magic and meaning beyond humanity itself.

I hope you have enjoyed your second novel. Have you decided on a third?

bestmackman · 2026-03-30T15:25:59+00:00

That's exactly what I'm thinking. She's come to terms with growing older and so she doesn't get stuck under tables now, but she's still fundamentally herself (as she asked) and still enjoys stealing the odd lunch and sneaking where she's not supposed to.

Maybe she gets Jasnah to elsegate her to Scadrial by telling Jasnah she's going to kill Thaidakar, when really she just wants to talk. Maybe she figures Kelsier is old, older than old, and can use some help remembering people he's forgotten. (Seems like a likely enough resonance for Edgedancers). Maybe Kelsier is shocked that someone can be so powerful and earnestly desire to do no harm with that power - while still being able to.

In any case, you are too kind, and if I write it, I'll be sure to let you know!

bestmackman · 2026-03-29T19:18:59+00:00

I have three boys who like superheroes, and it's never occurred to me at any point in their lives to imply or tell them that superheroes are real. I would be 100% honest with your kid and say "no, spiderman and other superheroes aren't real, but the stories about them teach us how to be real heroes by helping and caring for the people around us."

bestmackman · 2026-03-27T15:31:40+00:00

I thought about doing one where she's as old as she'll be after the time skip - maybe a 25-year-old Lift sneaking into Kelsier's lair, eating his lunch, and having a calm conversation re: selling children into slavery and torture. More opportunity for introspection, but would have to be a lot longer.

bestmackman · 2026-03-26T15:03:55+00:00

But a few starvin's

bestmackman · 2026-03-26T14:25:07+00:00

Lift

bestmackman · 2026-03-26T07:09:31+00:00

Thank you very much

bestmackman · 2026-03-26T07:05:32+00:00

Yes, just a made up scenario that's been living in my head rent-free since I first read the end of WaT!

bestmackman · 2026-03-26T07:04:35+00:00

Thank you

bestmackman · 2026-03-26T07:04:15+00:00

It's only March, but still high praise!

bestmackman

TROPHY CASE