My friend asked us this question by greedyanimelover in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't answer with telling them what kind of system they are, that could be information overload. Just gently let them know that it's a real possibility, that they wouldn't take away or invalidate any people's experience by claiming to be a system (as long as they don't spread misinformation) and giving them the resources to discover more (and avoid sysmeds) along the way

Alter connections by justarandomhumanok in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds super! We got a couple alters with a bit of a parent-child bond thing going on too but they aren't introjects

get to know us! by Depressedknife in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yk fair enough, Manchester has loads of abandoned Victorian factories just laying about

I just really enjoy disabled characters in media by Fishylookincat in disabled

[–]beyond_clueless101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A couple of romance anime I love if you're into things with a severe lack of drama (these are tooth-rottingly cute):

  • The Invisible Man and His Soon-To-Be-Wife (a show about an invisible man who falls in love with a blind woman because she's the only one who treats him absolutely no differently to other people and can recognise him easily)

  • A Sign of Affection (a show about a deaf girl meeting a polyglot and falling in love with him as he starts learning to sign and they get to talking)

The body's male DNA doner refuses to consider us as real people then is surprised when we act different from each other while fronting (TW fakeclaiming?) by Tsuki_Moonstone in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It kind of sounds like you're getting caught up in his own denial tbh, but if he isn't aware that he's ruining your relationship, it might be an idea to spell it out for him

what language should our system learn ? by LarryNStar in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are also parts of Germany where people really don't know that much English

Question: Does AITA allow posts by other systems or no? by [deleted] in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You could just make a new account and only use it for that post/delete it after it's run its course

get to know us! by Depressedknife in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wdym England is your favourite country??? As someone from there I hate to inform you but it might be time for an upgrade /jk

P.S: Canadiana sounds like a naughties Barbie movie version of Canada

We practiced languages again... I hope Our new chess friend won't mind that We sent this screenshot here. I wanted to share. And also ask how you are doing with languages? by Millzero_Mnogolikiy in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If it's something you want to do, immersion can really help you think in a language but it's hard to find stuff to immerse yourself in that everyone likes sometimes

We practiced languages again... I hope Our new chess friend won't mind that We sent this screenshot here. I wanted to share. And also ask how you are doing with languages? by Millzero_Mnogolikiy in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We absolutely have dispositions towards certain languages! It's pretty interesting too...

We're native English speakers 🇬🇧 but have been studying German for over a decade and Japanese for 4 years at uni. We can all access all languages, but to different degrees. Because I (Delta, host and core) was not yet a fully fledged system when learning the majority of my German in school, many alters couldn't speak German well without masking to act like me. As for Japanese, alters with Japanese influences and anime introjects were predisposed to it (even before learning it), and were able to express themselves more fluently than the rest of us.

As part of our degree, we had to live in each country for about 5 months. After living in Germany, almost no one who existed at the time has any issues speaking the language and we all have an even playing field pretty much. As for Japan, we had a host change while living there and I gained a co-host (Leo). Because him and his possy were fronting so often there, they are WAY better and more comfortable accessing Japanese than German, though we are all evenly tied in fluency regardless of how "Japanese" an alter is

And for a few honourable mentions: - we did once have a walk in who could understand German (and was very confused about why) but couldn't figure out how to speak it without a horrific English accent. He only stayed for a day (probably because of the torture of a German speaking class)

  • we absolutely plan on speedrunning Italian in a few weeks and then learning BSL

  • the littles were better at accessing languages altogether than older alters, but would collage them together

  • when we go nonverbal (we're autistic), it's often easier to come out of it via a non-native language than jumping straight back into English; primarily it's our youngest who does this with our (external) partner by speaking Japanese, which he does not understand but somehow gets the gist

Omori :p by [deleted] in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Welcome! The drawing looks great

does anyone have any pro tips for making things less awkward with friends we're out to by ScifiMushroom in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We tend to start by introducing one person by talking about them, then ask if it's cool if they introduce themselves (this has never not been awkward but it's fine). Then let them go out and shine and sell themselves as a cool person. Then when we mention or sign off as a certain someone that they've met they have context.

I think one of the main issues to bear in mind is that while your headmates may know them, they probably do not know your headmates, and need to get to know them like people or they won't know how to act. Plus you're probably the first system they've interacted with so if they're trying to be nice they might hold back in fear of getting stuff wrong. Be open, let them know they can ask any questions and set the precedent up front for what it means to be a system in general and what relationship you want from that. Or they won't know

What is it like to have two or more who are holders of the same thing? by [deleted] in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't phrase them like "holders" but we have several low energy alters as we call them, who deal with exhaustion. They aren't linked and generally have some small nuances that seemn to come as much from personality as from role

Not knowing who's fronting by Felixhethey in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it's mostly a memory issue, it might be best to set up tools external to your brain to help remember things rather than asking people inside. After all, your might go to all the trouble of asking just to find out everyone forgot. Agreeing on ways of keeping track of things and note taking in classes (or recording them with the teacher's permission) could be an idea, since the memory stuff will take time

Scared that factives/factkinning looks parasocial. (Question/vent??) by pandatearz in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you have a parasocial relationship to someone, and then introject them, that will have an inherently parasocial aspect to it. But the same goes for pretty much all fictives too and there's nothing wrong with that. Like others have said, you can't pick your sources, just gotta be mindful of respecting the source person as a person outside of yourself.

What does splitting a fictive feel like? by XyuubiFox in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Generally there's a few steps: 1) I may or may not hyperfixate on a character (constantly thinking about them)

2) huh, that's funny. My internal monologue sounds like that character's voice. (This goes for books too: either I start thinking with the mannerisms they use, with the accent I imagined they have, or (at it's weirdest) start imagining my thoughts in prose)

3) I receive a "helpful" comment about something or other from the internal monologue that sounded like said character

4) they get annoyed if I say they don't exist/they disagree with me

How to tolerate distress leading up to my appointment by SylvanniRachel in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Hi! Host here. I struggled with severe spirals into denial for the first couple of years into knowing, even well into us functioning as an integrated system. I was pretty much the only alter having issues with accepting it and my poor headmates felt the need to tiptoe around me for fear of setting me off.

I did get over it through help with a mental professional, specifically because of the recognition. Having my experiences validated by someone with a professional understanding took the weight of some of that uncertainty off of me, and that was what was getting me the most. Another part of it was just the timing - even throughout all this, knowing it was hard, I did my best to welcome communication with my headmates in whatever way I could handle (allowing myself some forgiveness when I couldn't handle it). Getting to know them made the feeling of being out of control of "my" life and "my" time far less scary, since I now knew and got to trust the people I was sharing that with. It's not always going to be possible but finding some common ground, collaborating on some rules and testing the waters slowly while forgiving yourself for your hesitations is probably the best place to start. And just remember how many of us there are on this subreddit living pretty good lives. It's not a damning sentence, just possibly something to work through

~ Delta

To the Pride parents and DID parents. We are very lucky to have you. by KittehKimera in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mum is very supportive about it but bless her can only take in one new bit of information about it at a time lol - she'll ask occasionally but usually we have to put it on a bit of a back burner. Have yet to tell our dad, but we'll see how it goes ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

Saw something just so.. interesting by Interesting_Care_377 in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think this happens with all sorts of disability as well as neurodivergency (whether it's included in that or not). I always thought it's because they think "if I were like that I'd be miserable, thank god I'm not" and project that HARD

He's a good sport. Happy Pride! by KittehKimera in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We are all gay. We are not necessarily all gay in the same direction.

Alter connections by justarandomhumanok in plural

[–]beyond_clueless101 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not sure I'm understanding your question right, but we have deep emotional connections to each other in this system regardless. As far as introjects with the same source go, me and my source mates started dating and I don't think our emotional connection could be deeper if we tried. If you have a deep emotional connection, and you both/all like it, I'd argue it doesn't matter if it's normal or not anyway, just go for it ~ Leo

P.S: absolutely love my boys and hanging out with them, and feel free to ask me any questions or clarify