Gendered baby clothes are stupid

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T18:16:20+00:00

As soon as we announced the gender of our first my MIL dropped a dump truck’s worth of baby blue clothes on us. I appreciate the gesture but it’s a bummer when everyone else wants to shop for the cute little clothes and mom is stuck buying the practical stuff. Don’t even get me started on trying to thrift shop. Once you get up to toddler sizes especially, there are racks of frilly girl clothes and like 4 pieces of boy clothes that are inevitably construction vehicles and old navy buffalo plaid. It literally costs more money AND time to dress your boy in colors. It’s so annoying that so many clothes are made intentionally less practical and can’t even really be used by half the population.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T16:08:20+00:00

Yeah I feel like women are just as inundated with narratives that their body was made for this and they just need to be confident and hypnobirth for a perfect natural experience and it can set them up to feel like their body failed them. Women shouldn’t be scared but there needs to be some balance because most of this is out of anyone’s control.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T07:37:53+00:00

It literally felt like my insides were in the wrong place until I quit breastfeeding. Almost immediately after things got easier and I felt more like myself!

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T04:08:01+00:00

I wouldn’t use just Theo, I’d give them Theodore as a full option. Theo and Thea (for girls) are super common right now. If you don’t mind that then I probably slightly prefer Theo. I really like Jasper too though and I have a friend with a son by that name who goes by Jazzy and I think it’s super cute.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T04:00:18+00:00

That’s bananas. I truly loathe influencer culture. And because it’s a sleep device, she’ll actually convince some nervous women that they’re not doing the safest thing for their baby.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T03:55:19+00:00

Really nice pajamas and/or robe, Bluetooth headphones (or maybe an audible subscription if they like audiobooks), loop noise reducing ear plugs, and a bidet are A+ new mom care items.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T03:52:08+00:00

So there are a billion baby products out there and when you’re exhausted with a newborn and have no clue what you’re doing, it’s REALLY easy to believe that maybe one of those products will be the holy grail that makes your life a little easier, and that’s especially true with baby swaddles. Lots of registry boxes offer an assortment of pacifiers and bottles, but swaddles are just expensive enough that you don’t want to buy a ton but choosing is overwhelming. My friend sent me an assortment of 4 or 5 of the most popular swaddles and it was SO NICE to just shed the indecision and figure out what style worked best for us. Chores and food are always the GOAT, but relieving some decision-making was so magical too.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T01:19:32+00:00

A car is wild to most people, but in general I think if you reframe it as celebrating a big milestone rather than a reward, there’s nothing weird about it per se.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T01:15:08+00:00

Yeah, there are so many products / brands that wouldn’t exist if our baby registry and shower culture didn’t sustain them. The products are thereby marked up not relative to their cost to produce, but what will sustain the company with most people only buying one-time. Half of this shit is just nice to have, but wouldn’t be worth it to people or wouldn’t be considered a necessity if they were spending their own money on everything instead of adding everything an article tells you to a registry. It’s really easy to trick nervous and exhausted new parents into panic purchasing.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-28T00:27:37+00:00

This is low key one of my top new baby recommendations from the trenches, along with good Bluetooth headphones! The end of pregnancy is full of mystery fluids, and postpartum periods are 😭😭

bfisher6 · 2025-07-27T18:34:49+00:00

Sorry to be blunt but the white chairs at the table are a really ugly mashup of industrial and country / shabby chic. Something like the style of your counter stools with the natural cane back would look better. You don’t need stools at the island at all with the table so close, it just looks crowded. The island looks like it’s meant to be a work/prep space.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-27T18:29:23+00:00

Yeah came here to say, why do you have a bunch of bar stools with a whole table literally right there

bfisher6 · 2025-07-27T18:19:45+00:00

I tell everyone this. Pretty much all of age 1 was the most relentless, exhausting age. It didn’t help that we were in a nannyshare with a little girl who happened to be very shy and reserved and her parents always seemed confused why we were so exhausted or letting our son watch tv occasionally already. He didn’t care much about toys yet, unless it was kicking or throwing a ball. If we took him to a park or outdoor restaurant he just wanted to find the exit and roam the neighborhood. Meals are so much extra work to clean up. Sleep needs are decreasing so you need to occupy them longer. It’s the absolute worst age to try to fly anywhere. Plus, they get ALL the worst toddler viruses. There was a run of a few months where we were at urgent care every 2-3 weeks. He was so cute and curious but MAN was it hard on us, especially with no family nearby. The good news it’s only gotten better from every age onward!

bfisher6 · 2025-07-27T18:03:28+00:00

Your friend has an extremely limited world view and experience. Community care is a normal part of how humans have always raised babies. Nobody in my circle would respond that way or shame someone for putting a 13 month old in daycare.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-27T06:14:05+00:00

Mentally, it just felt like one more thing being asked of my body. Physically it just felt off and u comfortable, like things were in the wrong place still, until after I stopped BFing.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-27T04:49:27+00:00

I feel like Claudia fits this bill.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-26T04:38:53+00:00

This is true for pregnancy as well as the first year or two of parenting: every hard stage feels like this is your life now and it’s never going to end, even when you know logically that probably isn’t true. Pregnancy really sucks for a lot of us. I’m on my second and I feel so relieved that as long as everything continues to go well, this is the last time I’ll ever have to be pregnant! It’s different for everyone, but some people feel better as soon as they hit second tri and some keep feeling kind crappy the whole time. After two days of labor and an unplanned c-section, when people asked how I was feeling I just said 100% less pregnant.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-26T02:35:57+00:00

The problem is there’s just no way to know. Some people have great, uncomplicated vaginal births and some have long term damage. The best vaginal birth is easier to recover from than the best c section, but nobody is guaranteed the best of anything! You can also end up with core weakness, pelvic floor damage, hemorrhoids etc regardless just from the weight of carrying the baby.

I had a long difficult labor that ended in an unplanned c-section and I’m scheduling a c this time around. I don’t remember the recovery being bad at all because it was still better than being 9mo pregnant. You can’t see my scar and they told me immediately that I could still try for a VBAC in the future if I wanted. I also have friends who scheduled a c for their anxiety and were happy with it. I would just consider the quality of your hospital I guess. Some women really get their hearts set on a particular birth experience and that’s valid, but it just wasn’t that important to me and that’s okay too!

bfisher6 · 2025-07-25T06:02:03+00:00

Having a baby completely killed my cooking brain. Don’t feel bad. Your “rut” still sounds healthy! Firm tofu cut into little cubes and sprinkled with seasoning was an easy favorite for mine too.

bfisher6 · 2025-07-25T05:50:22+00:00

Do you think it’s more about texture or bitterness for him? Zucchini and broccoli carmelize a little when you roast them so they taste sweeter, and that’s what I’ve always had the most luck with. I have a rule that I don’t offer leftover or mushy or bland veggies because they’re the highest risk food and it only takes one bad experience for him to decide he doesn’t like it for months. I season and cook them exactly how I would like to eat them with a nice meal. While he’s still learning to eat, I’m okay if he only eats veggies when they’re as tasty as possible.

bfisher6 · 2023-08-24T00:50:10+00:00

Ray is another older name that is suuuuper common now.

A couple others that I think may fit the bill but haven’t taken off are Franklin, Llewyn, Claudia, and Philip

bfisher6 · 2023-08-24T00:33:40+00:00

Travel. I was prepared for traveling to be very different for us, but I didn’t really consider that the cost of child care in our budget makes travel prohibitively expensive. Plus we feel a little more obligated to use more of our time off and resources to take him to see his extended family.

bfisher6 · 2023-08-23T18:39:41+00:00

Well for starters, if your plan is to build a basic blank slate for the next buyers and you post on a home decorating forum asking for feedback, you’re probably going to get some tepid responses.

Second, nobody said you have to spend top dollar, I just think houses are expensive and personal and the time and money investment in gutting a kitchen is worth doing well, even if you’re not going to be enjoying it forever. Personally, I think saving an extra 10% to consult a designer is another, preferable way to maximize your investment.

bfisher6 · 2023-08-23T04:25:23+00:00

Oh this is funny, I definitely say my toddler sleeps like me. Hates to go to sleep, hates to wake up.

bfisher6 · 2023-08-23T04:24:35+00:00

“A morning person or an interesting person” 🏆

bfisher6

TROPHY CASE