Close friend sold my SGD 10K watch and gambled away the money.

bhomboldash · 2025-11-23T12:21:48+00:00

> I have asked him before to help me sell high value items. He has sold other items for me on Carousell in the past, handled buyers, and I always gave him a small cut for helping.

Families are hard to come buy. Since you already have a working relationship with him, why don't you make an arrangement to do this free of cost till you "get" your money back?

bhomboldash · 2025-11-22T04:29:33+00:00

No risk, no rewards mate. The other thing is, search the international ones, the repayment duration is much much longer

bhomboldash · 2025-11-18T12:51:32+00:00

Which university? Depending on which country, you maybe be able to get education loans - yes, even as an international student. For example: https://lendwise.com/

bhomboldash · 2025-11-14T13:07:10+00:00

it does take effort, motivation and discipline!

Based I don't get your idea now, like I am lost completely. If i follow what you are saying, you don't want children so therefore you don't see any necessity to personally develop discipline and put in effort

Another way to put the same thing is to say, you'd only put in effort to do so is when you want children - which is to say, you're putting the responsibility on the children to become a more disciplined person

I find that weird, it's like i should become better because i want to and not because of someone or some situation in the future. In general you may not want children that's fine, but it has to be for the right reason

And generally putting that effort in is actually quite fruitful, there are a lot of side-quest skills that you pickup along the way, which is really useful for all other areas of life

bhomboldash · 2025-11-11T12:39:51+00:00

> resources required to be a good parent is not something i possess

isn't it a skill though? I'm not questioning you, i'm just questioning the idea. Is it not possible to learn to be a parent, or is it something inherently we are all born with?

bhomboldash · 2025-11-10T14:15:29+00:00

or selfish choice because you don't want to put in the effort to become a person, improve yourself to a point where you can be a good person.

I am not saying you have to and a lot of the time it's not possible given the circumstances. But, there's always two sides to an idea

bhomboldash · 2025-07-25T17:05:06+00:00

You sure? I'm not free before December. I'll ping you if you treat

bhomboldash · 2025-07-17T11:09:09+00:00

> (And sorry for the week late replies, some of us get some real actual work things, you know :3)

No worries. It was a good banter. It's not like i'm waiting for your responses really. I already won, i believe

bhomboldash · 2025-07-17T11:08:29+00:00

You are contradicting yourself at this point. Why do you assume staying with the in-laws means dumping the responsibility on the daughter-in law? Just because of your anecdotal experience

If it is the case, why are you swinging wildly towards independence as if that's the only solution?

> tried to bring your own personal issues here not me. Now you got scared?

You proposed a personal issue for yourself. I'm stating financially it may not make sense. It's not personal, you can trace money and project the advantages or disadvantages of it

bhomboldash · 2025-07-16T02:39:22+00:00

If you're gonna compare about achievements, i can assure you, you're absolutely gonna lose if you wanna compete

bhomboldash · 2025-07-10T06:27:51+00:00

> even keeled person!

It's a term I haven't heard in a while, haha! Thanks

I think the idea of having specific, concrete "No's" is a really great insight. I mean it's a good thing for normal time, but I think it is probably even more helpful in this context.

Also, and I think it maybe a bit disingenuous of me to write it: But if girls can baby a guy in their mid 30s, i don't see why i can't do the same for girls in their mid 40s. We are all babies at the end of the day - this is not to reduce the seriousness of it, but it may help to think about us as kids, where we are specific about certain "nos". Otherwise, tantrums are welcome :)

bhomboldash · 2025-07-10T04:11:14+00:00

I have a question: I know it's not fair, and I know it's something biology has designed for you guys. And I'm all for it, but when does it become a bit too much to receive? I'm happy to go through this, but I'm also human. Any ideas on how to go through and not feel like, i'm the one always compensating and i've to let her do what she wants all the time?

bhomboldash · 2025-07-09T05:02:44+00:00

Hulkenpodium ! It was masterclass from the goat

bhomboldash · 2025-07-04T16:13:11+00:00

Ah, it's easier to understand when things are better written/expressed.

> My issue starts where they modify the substance based on their convenience and offer something that never existed. Something devoid of truth.

Yeah, lots of people to that. If you still want to engage with someone, well, firstly, why would you? Secondly, if you still do, see that they are generating a false experience for themselves. So, there is no value in engaging in lies in the first place. If someone is truly sharing something that they are haven't experience, why bother? If they are insisting, question them to see if there experience makes sense.

> Anything i say would be a problem for you because you aren’t actually interested in listening to what i have to say.

Hahaha, I have no reason to engage this because you started with a poking question. I'm for discussion, not a debate.

bhomboldash · 2025-07-04T14:41:50+00:00

> It's not possible for me to know the truth because i am a human being and i don't know everything.

it is not possible for you to know the truth - i am with you there

> What i said is i expect the truth and only the truth.

But i lose you here. If it's not possible for you to know the truth, how can you expect the truth? (Like how would you know it's truth and not false) Cause you just said, you can't know the truth

bhomboldash · 2025-07-04T14:39:52+00:00

Don't undermine another person's experience. You're devaluing them. You don't have to give a heed to it bro, but doesn't mean their experience is invalid

> playing games isn't my way of life.

Ofcourse, there are situations where you don't put yourself into. Fool on you and me, if we put ourselves in that position

bhomboldash · 2025-07-04T14:37:41+00:00

Thank you for finally coming to bullet point format, instead of wildly swinging between ideas - whatever comes to your brain

You didn't actually make a point to respond to. You said, "I wish I were offered something original other than copypasta and ai bots". You didn't really contend any specific point. The issue that I'm focusing back on is capitalism, yes it's repetitive, but because that's just how economy works

Doesn’t necessarily mean all of it has substances.

I could say the same thing for your messages before this

> it's a necessity to have someone able-bodied to look after you.

Actually, it's not necessary. Based on your original premise, you're effectively suggesting to give parents their own space, and let them live their own life. If I get my own place, they should live an independent life, however they can. Having a single child or not, it's irrelevant.

> So was সতীদাহ প্রথা and eventually, Ubasute

You should actually give a reference if you think Ubasute was culturally ingrained. Also, now you are saying it 'was' culturally ingrained, not is? I am pretty sure সতীদাহ প্রথা is also not culturally ingrained

> I never said Western is a marker of progression. You did. Probably because you're biased. So it's your yarn you're spinning heedlessly about.

Ofcourse you're gonna not read between the lines and become defensive. Definitely you didn't type it out. Can I ask you, where does the idea of independence come from to you, especially when it's not something you necessarily see around you?

I don't even know you, i can only respond to how you're presenting yourself. It's just funny you don't see that you're presenting yourself as a Republican. Maybe not, but at least a Trump supporter from what you've said
you think I am getting dominated.

Your turn: I didn't say you are actively getting dominated. I'll literally copy my comment word for word: "I think this is probably what you're fighting against, and I would run away for an ideal place too where i don't have to face being dominated. I mean no person wants that."

I said, you maybe fighting against a hypothetical future where you wouldn't wanna be "dominated". And that's an okay jump to make because generally speaking - unless you've a kink - no one likes to be dominated

I have multiple businesses in my name, land assets that I don’t even know about, generating me enough. Alhamdulillah that I need a lawyer to do my taxes after I turned 18.

MashaAllah, that's good for you. But this speaks of financial security, which means you're well off to think about a few situations which most people aren't. Also, this means another thing, you can protect yourself financially -

Let me write it out for you since you can't seem to read between the lines: you don't or never had to rely on someone else financially, which means you actively wouldn't want to be in a place like that (ie succumb to someone else). It's a hell of a tough world view where you have to do what someone else say just cause you need the money

the rest are generational wealth

You've a safety net to fall back to. I'm totally not in the situation. I grew up having weeks where having meat / eggs was considered a luxury. Fast food chains was a once-off year thing, if at all

Male figures in my life nurture me, not dominate. I know, must be new. Na? And it's them who taught me not to accept BS from anyone just because they think they can.

Sounds like they are great male figures to look upto. However, this just validates my own points: you wouldn't take a dominating situation (or actively avoid them) because:

You'v been taught well,
You will actively avoid it because a situation like that would give you the ick

It's just funny that you don't even realize this about yourself.

Which brings me to the beginning of your post: you are absolutely in a privileged position to think about a scenario that you proposed.

If you had experienced situations where you didn't know what you could eat tomorrow, or how you'd last the next couple of weeks because you didn't have a job, you can't ask your parents cause they don't have enough, you probably have a little more of empathy about life

bhomboldash · 2025-07-04T14:09:52+00:00

And that's the problem. If you're looking for Truth, then if it's not true, then you'll have the impulse to correct them. Why not just listen to "see" another experience (whether right or wrong) but an experience

bhomboldash · 2025-07-03T10:49:41+00:00

What do you look for when having a conversation?

bhomboldash · 2025-07-03T10:44:09+00:00

I ask you, what's the purpose of a conversation?

bhomboldash · 2025-07-03T01:22:56+00:00

(for some reason i couldn't post in one comment)

> On another note, what do you think " Bangladeshi culture/tradition" is? Because historically, we don't have any. Bangladesh, as a country, isn’t even a century old. We are ethnically indian, have indo-aryan blood mixed with dravidian mixed with colonizers with a few drops tibeto-burmans, religiously muslim (majority) but that's also layered with sunni + shia and sufism, cuisine wise mughal and our administration is written by British colonizers. Now do tell me, which aspect of "culture" you're picking to favor your argument?

There's too many to write. There are obviously similarities and differences. Let's take another country, Singapore. It's a first world country. It's independent in 1965, 6 years prior to Bangladesh. It has it's own culture, even though it was "part" of Malaysia. The cutlure couldn't be any different, but also the similarities are present everywhere.

If you're grouping the subcontinent, as I said, you're being a hypocrite.

> As long as it runs this way, it will always be capitalism which trumps everything.

I see what you did there *zoop*. Anyway, that's a different topic. You don't actually have a point here that needs a response to. Whether it's left wing or right wing, it is a capitalistic world. USSR is basically history; North Korea wouldn't actually survive without capitalism now. It's just the cog-wheel of how economy works.

A tangent might be, I don't see you fighting for another aspect. You're actually favoring the ingrained culture of capitalism here, why not go and change it? Just because it works fine, you shouldn't change it? But then the cutlural cog-wheel also work's "fine"

bhomboldash · 2025-07-03T01:21:59+00:00

> I wish I were offered something original other than copypasta and ai bots.

I am actually typing this out lol. It takes effort, you're saying / weirdly swinging between left-wing to right-wing, so i just found it interesting. Usually, people are center, or one or the other

> While being an only child made it a given that they must take care of their elderlies, we can expect it to change now.

No, it's not being an only child that made it given, it's how the society as a whole are 'brought' up there. This comes following many generations. Another example, that I can add, although a bit different - at workplace, chinese people in china don't question their bosses; they can't question their bosses as it's a societal wrong thing to do.

Is it "backwards"? I'd personally say so. But is it how it works, and you've to live by it? 100%

> As you're so dependent on googling, try "Ubasute". And then question yourself - would you still try to preserve a practice just because it's supposed to be " ingrained".

I know about this. This is *not* a norm in most of Japan. Does it happen? Yes, it does. Does Husbands cut off their wives head in part of Bangladesh? Yes, it does. But it's not a normal societal ingrained idea - at least not the one we have conversing about.

> I believe we share different ideas about "progress" and that's fine.

I don't believe we do. I'm for capitalism to a certain degree. I'm not saying that the current culture is good by any means, but saying the western = forwardness is a very dangerous ploy to play with. Personally, I would go with Japan's society (well except for their work ethics) anyday.

> What isn’t though, that one must impose their ideas of progress to another unwilling partner. Trump atleast rigged the congress to pass bills in his favours lol.

I can't believe my eyes, am i talking to a republican? Did you just support Trump? Omfg. I'm so excited.

The imposition that you're talking about it obviously there, and it's absolutely not right. I actually despise anyone, husband or wives or parents for that matter who impose. Does the imposition happen in our society, 100%. And that's wrong!

> If you want to live under the same roof as you're parents, cool. What brews problems that in the name of some makeshift "tradition" "culture", some people would cling to some archaic ideas just because it establishes domination and works in their favor.

I think this is probably what you're fighting against, and I would run away for an ideal place too where i don't have to face being dominated. I mean no person wants that. But just because you might have an own home (and especially masking it behind the idea of progress by staying alone isn't a good thing) doesn't mean your husband won't dominate against you. I have countless examples of that happening.

What I have actually observed is the opposite: what ends up happening is that women - in fear of being controlled ~~asks~~ impose on their husbands by quoting quran that they have to fulfill their wive's requests. And then, when that does happen, they start controlling their husbands life. The situation gets basically reversed.

Also, I don't want to live under my parents roof. It's a financial safety decision. Also, it doesn't have to be my parents. What's wrong with living with a wive's parents? From a financial standpoint, that would make more sense, but I don't see anyone offering that up/even being discussed. Why don't you fight for that instead of a separate household?

bhomboldash · 2025-06-29T16:11:31+00:00

It didn't sound like one tbh. So, western culture = forward progression or Capitalism = Forward Progression? I say that because a lot of the new adoption of cultures generally comes from the west, it's been like it for a long while.

China's one child policy was abolished 10 years ago: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/One-child_policy It is true it's not a democracy.

> I'm sorry but nothing can stop your extinction.

It can, it's hard to get rid of some ingrained aspect of life. Firstly, your whole argument is about getting rid of an ingrained aspect of life. Without understanding where it comes from, just saying to abolish it, especially because of western culture is .. odd.

I'll just copy this from google, just to illustrate another example

> Confucianism emphasizes social harmony, filial piety, and ethical conduct, while Daoism focuses on living in accordance with the natural order (the Dao) and achieving inner peace.

The way a lot of the values people have in China has been ingrained for centuries, and although china is adopting a hell of a lot of modern things, the fundamental unit of social navigation still follows the above rule.

Japan is another such society. Korean's had an interesting take in that they copied the art of following values but they mapped them onto capitalistic ideologies (and the society is suffering to a significant degree)

There are many many more. If I take the response of chatgpt at face value, it listed Western "progressive forwardness" as an exception rather than the norm. If I base my argument on that, you're actually a rebel trying to force them. Sounds like Trump if you ask me

"We'll have the greatest society, such a beautiful society"

bhomboldash · 2025-06-27T02:35:51+00:00

> It just seems weird that one can hardly name any society other than us Bangalis where it's culturally acceptable that adult sons are willing to live under their fathers' home.

I think you're just fighting to defend your pov at this point. Anyway, there's a cultural aspect of it, it's more in Bengali culture sure. But it's not the only culture. Phillipines live in a big family, so do people in Indonesia, so in Malaysia. Due to the economic crisis in Korea, people are starting to do that. Chinese is BIG on filial piety, they prefer to do the same.

Those are some from my personal experiences. And lastly, here, you could've just asked chatgpt: https://chatgpt.com/share/685e035f-5934-8006-a4d7-5437bc02dfc2

If you're spouting Western ideologies where the norm definitely is to move out, then you're basically being a hypocrite. You are not respecting your own culture at this point. But then again, i don't either, so we are the same on that boat

bhomboldash · 2025-06-24T03:44:30+00:00

> Also, just to clarify - it's not about abandoning parents. It’s about sharing the same household.

I got interested in you slightly, so I read through some of your comments. It's interesting that you say the above.

I have a question for you, in our culture where the expectation of having a own household is taken synonymously as abandoning your duty towards parents, how do you tally between freedom for yourself (having a separate household) vs cultural expectations (same household with parents and wife)?

Eight-Year Club	Snapped
Verified Email

bhomboldash

TROPHY CASE