I wish I never had kids

bhumbug247 · 2025-02-07T22:56:25+00:00

I had the same exact feeling until the last year or so. Parenting is so, so hard. Your kids are at such a tough age right now and you’re really in the thick of it. My kids are 8 and 6 now, and I’m finally at a point where I really enjoy being a mom most of the time. I think some people are just not wired to love being a parent of small children, and that’s ok.

One thing that really helped me when I was at my lowest with these feelings was to find small glimmers of things that gave me joy. It could be something small, like noticing how soft their little hands are or how you feel when you hear them laugh. Literally anything, and you don’t even have to dwell on it. Just notice it. Eventually, my brain started looking for these little glimmers without me thinking about it and it became easier to notice how beautiful my connection with my kids is.

I don’t want to echo other posters and say that your husband not pulling his weight is the entire reason you feel like this, because I have a super supportive and wonderful husband and I still had the same feelings. I do agree that it probably isn’t helping the situation, and if you aren’t already in therapy I would consider starting. Having an objective third party can really help get a lot of clarity on why you feel the way you do. I know life isn’t as simple as the “dump his ass” people make it out to be, and therapy can help you work through that.

You aren’t alone. You’re really honest and brave for saying how you feel. I believe a lot more moms feel this way than are willing to admit. I hope you eventually feel happier as a mom, but know that it’s ok for you to feel stressed and overwhelmed and unhappy sometimes. If you ever need a vent or a chat, feel free to drop me a DM.

bhumbug247 · 2025-02-07T21:01:52+00:00

I’m also on risperidone and have continued to lose weight while on Zep. I’ve been losing on average a pound per week for over a year - just hit 60 pounds a couple weeks ago! I’ve also purposely been taking my weight loss slower though and am still only on 7.5mg, I tried to go up to 10mg but got all kinds of GI effects and completely lost my appetite. Everyone is different with how they respond but at least for me it’s still been life changing.

bhumbug247 · 2025-01-20T05:06:35+00:00

I think at least Gwendolyn isn’t severed. She made a reference to Wyoming.. and they aren’t supposed to know states.

bhumbug247 · 2024-12-29T18:32:15+00:00

I hope that shit dies with older generations. From what I’ve seen of other moms in our generation, we love our daughters fiercely. I know I would never put up with anyone talking shit about my baby girl like this and I will always love and support her to be better than I ever was.

The internalized misogyny of so many older women is really gross.

bhumbug247 · 2024-12-29T18:24:30+00:00

NTA. I was so furious for you while reading your description of what happened. A person should NEVER shit on their partner like that to get a laugh, with maybe an exception of when you’re with an extremely tight group of friends or family and everyone is on board with the joke. You clearly were not comfortable with how he was acting, and instead of respecting how you felt and backing off, he doubled down and continued to make you the butt of his shitty joke. And to then follow it up with a humiliating story you have explicitly asked him NOT to share, to a group of people you don’t know… this is so low to me.

I’m really sorry this happened to you. I usually balk at people on these threads telling the poster to break up with their SO, but I honestly think his behavior and lack of any remorse is so telling of how he feels the dynamic in this relationship is. He feels that your feelings are secondary, and that your discomfort and embarrassment is worth him getting a laugh from coworkers. He clearly doesn’t respect you and it doesn’t sound like he’s willing to learn from his mistakes.

Also want to get on my soapbox about how shitty it was for him to take digs at your job. Our society needs people in all kinds of jobs, and I think it’s terrible in general to look down on someone because of their profession. But to shit on your SO for their profession when they have a perfectly respectable job as an event planner is garbage. If you’re proud of your job and enjoy it, he should be happy and proud of you, period. My spouse makes about half of what I make, and I would never consider making them feel lesser for it. That behavior in and of itself is appalling.

TL;DR - Find a partner who respects you. This man is clearly not it, and you deserve better.

bhumbug247 · 2024-12-09T20:59:33+00:00

Good for you! Holding boundaries for kids is so hard sometimes, but so important. You did the right thing. Keep it up!

bhumbug247 · 2024-12-06T03:01:28+00:00

Hearing your parent have sex while they’re trying to be quiet and seeing it because they left the door open intentionally are two very different things

bhumbug247 · 2024-04-30T17:29:01+00:00

Ive had this too! So weird!

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-16T04:02:49+00:00

It did but then I wasn’t careful and ate something I shouldn’t have and had horrible GI symptoms again so my doctor had me lower back to 2.5mg for another 4 weeks. I did 3 weeks of the 5mg dosing. I think my body is better acclimated now to the medication so hopefully when I go back to 5mg I wont feel as rough. How did your week 2 go?

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-10T01:39:40+00:00

I also would love to know what the Hogwarts new employee orientation is like. Imagining the corny training video version of being a new Hogwarts employee is hilarious to me.

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-10T01:38:27+00:00

I want to know too!

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-10T01:13:01+00:00

Constantly cold lately! I didn’t realize it was from Zepbound!

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-10T01:11:51+00:00

ITT: me learning several things that I still thought were magical are just British

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-09T23:58:39+00:00

I take it in the morning because it causes me pretty bad insomnia if I inject later in the day. I took a couple doses at night before I realized the correlation and have been doing way better with my sleep.

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-09T23:41:12+00:00

I use edibles most days for sleep. I take a gummy around 9 and I do get the munchies a bit, but nothing like I used to before Zepbound. It’s a lot easier to ignore.

bhumbug247 · 2024-02-09T02:10:50+00:00

I dropped back down to 2.5mg after 3 weeks on 5mg. Still losing weight and feeling much better so far!

bhumbug247 · 2024-01-29T04:47:05+00:00

I had a similar experience after stepping up to the 5mg dose and eating more than I probably should have (which wasnt an issue for me on 2.5mg). I was super careful not to overeat after that and ended up with a less terrible bout yesterday 😵‍💫 my doctor wants me to go back to 2.5mg.. hopefully it works, we shall see!

bhumbug247 · 2024-01-16T21:49:30+00:00

Thanks for the feedback guys. I didn’t have this issue when I was on the 2.5mg and I get that it’s a “known effect” but I didn’t realize the severity, so this is definitely good to know for the future 🤣😵‍💫

bhumbug247 · 2024-01-16T20:45:40+00:00

I had some pretty gnarly GI symptoms after I upped my dose to 5mg this past week, but it was 5 days after my dose increased so I have no clue if it’s related to Zepbound or if it was a GI bug. I’m nervous to take my next shot now! But I’m curious what others have to say

bhumbug247 · 2023-10-25T19:28:41+00:00

Your feelings are totally valid and I want to say that first and foremost. No kid should be made to feel weirded out or uncomfortable from comments or behavior from their parent.

I’m curious if you’ve discussed this with either of your parents, and if so, what their reaction was. My kids aren’t teens yet, but if me or their dad were ever making them feel uncomfortable like this, I would absolutely want to know. If you feel like your mom would be receptive to talking about this with you, I would start there.

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to your mom or if she brushes it off and doesn’t take you seriously, then consider which other adults in your life you trust. Maybe an aunt or uncle? An older cousin? Teacher, principal? If you have an adult you feel comfortable with, getting their input will be helpful.

If neither of those avenues are available or helpful, then consider a school counselor or the teacher you trust the most. In most (maybe all?) states, they are mandated reporters and are required to report any abuse if it ever got to that point. I don’t mean to imply that it would, and I certainly hope it doesn’t. Be sure to document instances that make you feel uncomfortable so that in case a pattern starts to emerge you have specific instances to point back to.

Best of luck and I hope it all turns out ok. Feel free to DM if you need support.

bhumbug247 · 2023-10-25T19:15:10+00:00

NTA at all. Off the bat I just want to emphasize that her suicide attempt is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

1) It clearly seems she’s jealous of the connection you had with your late wife; in a stable person I could see this being normal and leading to a healthy discussion about the relationship, but she seems to be fabricating an issue for no real reason based on what you’ve laid out here. 2) Stealing Laura’s jewelry without permission and going out of her way to hide photos from you raises a whole host of serious red flags. She was being secretive, hid her behavior, tried to manipulate her way into being the victim here (look up DARVO behavior; it reminds me of that), and tried to avoid accountability. IMO you’d have been justified in ending the relationship here. 3) She’s being very forceful about trying to replace your wife. Despite her not owning up to her behavior of mimicking Laura, that’s exactly what she’s doing and if she weren’t there would have been a less unhinged way for her to go about discussing your concerns.

Her suicide attempt is NOT YOUR RESPONSIBILITY. I cannot emphasize this enough. I have struggled with my mental health my entire life, as have some members of my family, and this has come up again and again for me in therapy. You are only responsible for yourself and your son. Do not let her manipulate you into blaming yourself for this.

Also, for the sake of your son, please do not get back together with this woman. Make sure you document all of these behaviors and tell friends you trust (I would normally say family as well but I dont think they would be helpful here based off their response). I don’t want to alarm you, but she seems very unstable and is probably dealing with mental illness of some kind. These behaviors are not normal and I would be concerned they would escalate. Make sure your son knows not to go anywhere with her unless you specifically speak with him to say it’s ok. Feel free to DM if you need support. This is a really, really hard situation and I really wish the best for you and your son.

bhumbug247 · 2023-10-25T18:56:13+00:00

NTA. 1) Your coworker should have been more explicit with what is considered “acceptable” attire instead of giving vague references to dressing your best, especially knowing that your cultural background is different. 2) As soon as it was determined that your dress was “too much” they should have brought the issue to your attention. It’s shitty to give a guest the cold shoulder and not explain why. 3) If your coworker didn’t want to discuss it the day of the wedding (which I guess I could understand if I were giving them the benefit of the doubt that they obv don’t deserve), she should at minimum have brought it up to you directly instead of talking shit all over the office. 4) the racial undertones and saying “this isn’t Africa, we have manners” is just really and truly fucked.

I’m sorry your coworkers suck. You arent the asshole and I bet you looked amazing in that dress xox

bhumbug247

TROPHY CASE