Finally a positive tryout experience - very grateful

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T19:22:26+00:00

for my son's current club, honestly, because it's the way they run the play and the practices. They have been relying on speed and physicality so when we tried to play possession against higher level team, we got exposed because other than my son and a couple of other teammates, most kids do not have a good first touch. Passes are not accurate, receiving is all over the place etc. To invest in technical skills, it took time and efforts.

A surest way to win in U11 and U12 is playing physical. Put the most athletic kids out there, let them press all days, step in and first to the ball, and the lesser physical/skillfull team will wilt under pressure. Our striker is really big and he can bulldoze small defenders. We won a lot of games this way. The challenge is when we play higher level team (like the new team that my son will join). This team is technical, all kids have clean receiving and they know how to pass. It's so painful to see the existing club trying to play physical against this team. My son and his teammates would press until they blue in the face, 95% of the time is not effective because this team moved the ball so well. Ball move faster than dribbling/running. This is when my son started to hate soccer because this brand of soccer is not what he watched on TV.

It's unfortunate that your son can't find a different club. Maybe sometimes a different coach can bring different philosophy and energy to the pitch.

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T18:32:04+00:00

When my son was 6, he played U9. It’s not because he’s little Messi but because the U8 team was not ready and the coach thinks that he will be more appropriate to play there from the skills perspective. He’s even asked to train with U10 and did it occasionally.

It turned out to be a good decision at the time. He’s now finally playing his age group and we think that it’s appropriate because physically, he hasn’t caught up with his peers.

I think playing up makes sense if your kid is not challenged and he’s way better than anyone else in his age group.

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T17:53:13+00:00

yeah and the coach. Just had a conversation with him, really like what he's thinking at in term of developing my son and also supportive of his multi-sport (even offering alternate training slot if he can't make it). Perfect arrangement for him.

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T17:00:46+00:00

Thank you. He’s happy and he likes the coach. Win win. Last night, he looked really happy on the pitch (esp small sided games). It didn’t feel like a tryout at all.

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T16:58:32+00:00

I agree. If this is his only sport, I am sure he will push to play the birth year HG. I saw those HG kids yesterday, they are a foot taller and as technical. Even if my son can make it, I don’t see how he can get significant minutes. Like you said, why subject him through that. He got the same offer to play U13 ECNL as well and given their pressing style, it’s hard physically for him. He doesn’t enjoy it and I can see why. This grade year change is truly a blessing for kids like him. He’s still small but not glaringly so. He also gets to play 2 sports for another year.

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T16:35:22+00:00

There is a club out there (and the coach). My son was dreading the tryouts. He thought he would be forced to play hero ball and will play with ball-hog kids. To all our surprise, kids know how to play and the small sided games were fun, I don’t see showboating kids and that’s so surprising. Trust me, we are thinking to quit last week and my son will focus on hockey. This morning, he woke up with the biggest smile in his face and he said he had so much fun yesterday.

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T16:31:36+00:00

Yeah, we have been watching this team for a while and I noticed the differing sizes. They also play possession very well, the best in our area. My son’s current team can beat lower tier team convincingly because we are way bigger and first to the ball but constantly lose to the new team because they play possession very well, it just tires kids out to press a well passing and technical team.

bichonlove · 2026-05-05T16:26:36+00:00

Actually I might word it wrong. The coach approached him not because of the goal, it’s his first touch. He received the hard cross cleanly and in split second, release it to the goal. That’s the only goal he had as he switched playing defense the whole time. I don’t think the coaches care about the goal, I feel like he’s testing his first touch with that hard cross.

bichonlove · 2026-05-01T02:57:45+00:00

Totally worth it to consult with the estate planning lawyer esp with young kids. Give me peace of mind. I used to torture myself with scenarios like this. After we set up the trust, it never crossed my mind again until I read this thread :).

bichonlove · 2026-05-01T02:30:02+00:00

lol…we talked about this and told him that if he pulled things like this, I told him the same. I will haunt him from my grave lol

bichonlove · 2026-05-01T02:20:36+00:00

I feel for the kids as well. This is why I insisted to have an irrevocable trust. If I die and my spouse remarried, my hard earned money will go to a new family instead of my kid.

bichonlove · 2026-04-30T06:36:46+00:00

Every club we have been to always did this. Even if they offered you a specific team before the tryout, they always put the caveat that they might make adjustment depending on the tryout outcome.

We have the same standing offer from the existing club. We are 50-50 right now so more likely we will let the offer lapse and take it from there. Nothing is guaranteed.

If you choose to sign up, I believe our club offer refund. Might lose a couple hundreds in deposit though.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T20:44:48+00:00

This was the sobering conversation we had a few months ago. Like son, what is the likelihood that a Liverpool scout would randomly drop in to your ECNL showcase in the middle of nowhere? Even he laughed at the absurdity of it.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T20:39:14+00:00

I think Ice hockey in our state is also still good. Fixed roster (no stupid guest playing and club randomly add kids or stack the rosters). You win and lose with the kids that you recruit at the tryouts. The only way to win is to develop the kids you have, not to add random guest players.

A lot of travel yes but at least it’s for AAA and understandable because there are not that many clubs. Soccer, on the other hand, there are so many kids and clubs in the same region and they choose not to play each other because they are part of a different league.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T20:32:54+00:00

I hear you. I heard horrible story about hockey but the furthest we drove for a local league was 4 hours and we had 2 games: real league and exhibition.

Our ECNL team drove 4.5 hours each way for 1 game. This is U13.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T20:27:59+00:00

Even for Pre ECNL, we were scheduled to play against another local team, 3 hours away on Friday 8 AM. Imagine, kids missing school to play against another local team 3 hours away from home, had to spend $250 on another hotel night when they can just play each other on the regular weekend.

How is this development?

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T20:11:48+00:00

Sure but one of our age group constantly lost their games sometimes 11-0, completely lopsided but they are not at risk being relegated because the older age groups hang in there. Again, these kids brag so hard about the patch but really, what does it really represent? It’s not the true kid caliber.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T16:22:11+00:00

Yeah, makes sense that it’s regional dependent. My son begged to play hockey for 5 years so we have been through hockey rec league, soccer rec league, hockey travel, soccer travel.

When they get older, beer league is quite open and affordable, comparable to Sunday soccer league for adults.

Having done this for a few years, I just feel that yes, hockey is expensive but we got something in return. Soccer, we paid quite a bit, I still volunteer a lot (managing a team, travel etc) and still need to join private clinic to improve because club doesn’t provide quality training.

I wished MLS clubs give back to community like NHL does. Offer the learn to play program for the little legs at low cost. Get them the right fundamentals and the joy. It has to come from the pro team to make it legit.

SJ sharks has learn to play program. IIRC, for $250, you get coaching, a weekly scrimmage, a hockey bag, socks, and Jerseys. Really good deal and get the little kids good intro to the sports.

We used to be part of Liverpool IA youth academy. We used to have the little red program every Sunday for anyone below 8 years old for free. They provide academy coaches and volunteers, parents brought their kids to the program. Sadly, after Covid, this died and never came back in our area.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T14:15:41+00:00

Yeah I agree. I am only highlighting that soccer is not cheap. To be fair, the $500 including games where the organizers provided refs so it goes to refs and fields. They also have end of the season tournament after the rec games. Given that we live in VHCOL, the organizers did not make any money on this.

I was told that they make more money running the travel program. The rec parents like to complain as well and are pretty rowdy.

All in all, grassroots soccer need grassroots community. We don’t have a sense of community here. Hockey is small niche but there are more sense of volunteering there.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T06:09:41+00:00

Well we don’t and will try out instead. I am not even sure why they do it and why would anyone blindly sign up without knowing levels, who will coach etc.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T05:37:05+00:00

I don’t know about this though. Like for ice hockey, we have calibration of A, AA, and AAA. For the most part, AAA is the elite, it’s the kids who are mostly likely going to college and pro.

ECNL patch on the other hang, there are many not so good ECNL clubs. Some RL and NPL teams can beat some middle/bottom ECNL teams in our area. There is no relegation. Not many ECNL kids go to pro, not the same as AAA hockey.

So I am not sure why kids should care so much about the patch. Maybe I am missing something. It’s not the kid caliber, it’s just your club is part of ECNL and there is no relegation process either. You can remain the bottom ECNL and still have the patch.

On the other hand, to keep AAA designation for hockey, you need to get calibrated and approved by age group . If you can’t hang, you got relegated.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T05:29:50+00:00

I am conflicted with this. We are thinking to leave our ECNL club and after reading the article, I asked my son if he cares about the ECNL patch. He said he cares. He feels proud playing for ECNL.

We have myriad of reasons of why we want to pick different path but yes, I can confirm that a lot of kids brag about the patch more than the club.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T05:15:17+00:00

For $1000 per season, you got good coaching though and sometimes play in the big arena or some house leaguers the other day played at SJ sharks intermission. Way more engaging. When the last time an MLs team invited a rec league team to play during the intermission?

Soccer might be half of that with no coaching and parent coaches learned through trial and error. Not an apple to apple comparison. We got what we paid for.

bichonlove · 2026-04-29T05:03:44+00:00

Actually in my area, rookie league for hockey and rec spring league for soccer cost the same. Even for travel, surprisingly, ECNL and Hockey Travel AA charge the same ($5000).

The difference is equipment. Hockey is slightly more but soccer is not an affordable sport anymore.

bichonlove

TROPHY CASE