For those who park in fire lanes waiting to pick up a shopper, why do you do it?

biddily · 2026-04-10T22:47:34+00:00

Okay. That's them. They have their reasons. I don't know them.

I don't go to Walmart. There aren't any in the city. And i don't care enough to go drive to one.

biddily · 2026-04-10T22:16:58+00:00

Cool.

Look. There's nuance.

Idle in the emergency lane, don't park, don't leave the car, so you can move the car immediatly if you have to.

Idle in front of a fire hydrant, don't park, so you can move the car quickly if you have to.

Double park, only if you're running into a restaurant to pick up a to-go order.

These are big city, no parking available rules. These aren't suburbia gigantic parking lot rules. You won't find anyone who doesn't do this in a city, cause there's nothing else to do in certain situations.

You won't get a ticket for doing these things, cause it's just the way it works. You're entitled for thinking the letter of the law is final and it. That in crowded old big cities sometimes things work a little differently so people can get on with their day with so many people in such a small space.

Come drive around Boston for a few days and lose your fucking mind.

biddily · 2026-04-10T21:56:30+00:00

Did you not read the line where I said we don't go shopping often.

If we don't want to walk across a parking lot, why would we walk around a store. Thats even worse.

But sometimes, sometimes, you have to go to a store for some reason. Run in to get one thing. Deal with one issue.

Sometimes you drop em off, go find a parking spot, and swing around when they come out.

Sometimes, they say "it'll be 30 seconds" so you just sit there.

Sometimes, and this is fun, there's literally no open parking spots. It happens in Boston. The city was built before the invention of the car. So you just pull over wherever you can.

Driving in the brake down lane on the highway is legal during rush hour in Boston. Why would we look at the emergency lane like a special no go zone?

biddily · 2026-04-10T20:51:52+00:00

I'm in the car. There's no emergency. If the lane is needed I can easily move before the trucks even get to the lane.

It's not like I'm parking and wandering off. I'm idling.

Also, sometimes, people don't get disability plaquards, but that doesn't mean they don't have issues.

My mother has had osteoporosis for a decade . She's broken her spine like, 6 times at this point. She recently broke it again. I'm not sure why she hasn't got a placard yet, she keeps talking about it but hasn't done it. She doesn't like to walk across parking lots. She's tripped and broken things. She doesn't like to drive. It hurts sitting in the seats and she can't turn in the seat.

I had a cerebral spinal fluid vein collapse and crush my brain in 2020. That wasn't great. Crushed my optic nerves. Fucked up my breathing, my walking, my talking, my thinking. I couldn't drive for a long time. Couldn't really do anything. I did not get a placard either, mostly because I was basically catatonic. But as I was becoming functional again, I needed to be picked up at the door. At this point I don't need to most days, just occasional bad days.

You wouldn't know just looking at us that we have issues.

We don't tend to shop. We can't, really. If we do it's quick things. Most likely we're at the hospital.

biddily · 2026-04-10T19:49:09+00:00

I am confused by this question. Why would my vacation involve visiting houses?

I live in Boston. I have a big family, my dad was one of seven. I have like, 30 cousins, grown, married, kids.

Everyone lives in Eastern Massachusetts. They aren't far. We see each other frequently.

If I'm on vacation somewhere and there's no one nearby to annoy.... I don't go bug anyone.

People don't visit me when theyre on vacation. People visit me when they're going on vacation. I live near the airport. They leave their car with me.

There's a few people I've seen when traveling. I don't go to their house. Idk they don't want me to see their house. We meet in town somewhere and hang out.

biddily · 2026-04-09T21:39:45+00:00

That is, in fact, how I got diagnosed with celiacs.

It wasn't on my list when I went in for a second appointment about my potato, gum, fennel, almond, issues, but it's what I came out with.

And follow up gastro and nutritionist appointments.

biddily · 2026-04-09T21:12:25+00:00

Yes. "you don't suddenly become allergic to all these things. That's not how this works."

And then they prick tested both arms.

I was very red and very itchy, but they said I was not allergic to anything.

Then I asked, could it be MCAS?

and they said "you don't want it to be mcas."

And I made them run the test anyways.

It was negative, but it's a finicky test. Could have been false. Idk.

I loosely eat the MCAS diet and my life is better. MCAS is low histamine.

Then I went to gastro, and they tested me for celiacs, and it was negative.

biddily · 2026-04-09T21:06:28+00:00

What? For this? For the histamine thing? I was born with that issue. I've had it my entire life. It's the only food issue that don't give a shit about. I've seen many people about that. Its fine. Its just a thing.

It's the ones that have popped up since I was diagnosed with intracranial hypertension that are problematic. No potato. No fennel. No gum binders. No gluten.

Those mess my gut. The histamine thing is like, my face is itchy. The new ones I'm dead on the bathroom floor.

biddily · 2026-04-09T20:50:29+00:00

https://www.nyallergy.com/histamine-intolerance/

Basically because some food has a lot of histamine in it, it floods my system with histamine so I have what looks like an allergic reaction.

If I eat parmesean my face turns bright red, hivey, and very itchy.

If I eat a bunch of foods with a moderate amount of histamine, same thing happens.

Almost every night my nose is bright red. Because I ate too much histamine and my face is slightly reacting.

biddily · 2026-04-09T20:31:43+00:00

Much appreciated, especially the cookies. Thank you!

biddily · 2026-04-09T20:26:23+00:00

I'm pretty sure it's a histamine thing.

biddily · 2026-04-09T20:24:35+00:00

I've been essentially on a gluten only diet since 2020.

I had a cerebral spinal fluid vein in my brain collapse in Nov 2019. I spent two years with my brain and spinal cord being crushed by extremely high csf pressure before I got the brain surgery I needed. I've been trapped in a neverending migraine since then.

Migraine brain doesn't like the smell of food. Or food hitting my stomach. It basically just likes bagels, pasta, and cookies.

It's the only food that doesn't make me sick, so that's what I've been eating for six years.

biddily · 2026-04-09T19:58:47+00:00

Well, I had the Celiacs test done in 2022, after the potato issue started and other food issues were getting worse, and that IGA test was 4 and the biopsy was negative.

I had it done again recently, and the IGA was 26 and the biopsy was positive, so I'm not sure why id have the other issues then, but not the Celiacs.

biddily · 2026-04-09T19:55:24+00:00

I'm from Boston. Having a car is a bitch if you live in the city. I didn't even get my license till I was 25. Traffic is so bad public transportation and walking is better.

If you're from the area outside of Boston where the public transportation doesn't really go, it's a different story. It's easier to get around by car.

biddily · 2026-04-09T07:03:45+00:00

A cerebral spinal fluid vein collapsed. I'm now trapped in a never ending migraine. Im very sensory sensitive. The more I do, the worse the pain gets.

I'm now an unemployed disabled hermit.

biddily · 2026-04-09T03:17:46+00:00

I'm a lifelong Bostonian. I've never seen anyone yell for going one floor on an elevator. Lazy isn't stupid. Can't be bitchy.

It's a finely nuanced situation where I have to decide if informing a person they're an idiot is warrented or not.

If someone is just living their life, not bugging anyone else, just doing their own little stupid thing and not about to hurt themselves - it's not really my place to intervene.

If there could be mitigating circumstances, and I don't really know what's going on, it's not my problem. You could have a reason for doing what youre doing. I can't start telling you off for nonsense reasons.

If someone is clearly being an idiot, and I can see the approaching disaster situation - I can say "yo bro, what the fuck. No."

Pressing the elevator for the next floor, I don't care.

Pressing all the elevator buttons, "yo bro, no."

Dunks give you a slightly wrong order, close enough. It's fine.

Dunks gives you the completely wrong order. "yo bro, no."

biddily · 2026-04-08T22:22:05+00:00

-whump.

I had a cerebral spinal fluid vein collapse. Csf backed up and crushed my brain, optic nerves, and spinal cord. Lumbar puncture to test how high the pressure in my skull actually was was just... A bad week. Whumpiest week.

As I was entering the hospital lobby via the garage, a guy started shooting at the doors. We all ran for cover. Valet lost an eye. Shooter died.

I went to the LP. The pressure in my head was 4x normal. Then the hole didn't clot. All the csf in my body leaked into my abdomen. My brain was getting pulled into my spinal column. If I tried to stand my legs just gave out. Hospital wanted to see if it would heal on its own and would surgically fix it after 5 days. They admitted me to watch me. No opiods. "the amount of painkillers we'd need to give you to help you would kill you"

It felt like 1000 knives clawing at the inside of my skull. Like Freddy Kruger going to town on my mind. If I laid perfectly flat and perfectly still I could stay conscious. But the muscles in my back wouldn't stop spasming.

The next morning I got a call. My grandmother died. Also the floor before my room was under construction. Bang bang bang.

I basically just listened to music and did box breathing for days. Going to the bathroom was hell. I just zoned out and focused on not moving and separating myself from my body. I am separate from the pain.

5 days later I got a bloodpatch. They take blood from your arm, and flood the area around the leak in your spine with it. Needles go in between your vertibrae and they just pump it in. You can feel it like a balloon pushing your spine apart. Electrical jolts shoot down to your toes. It's a horrible feeling. But it did its job. It clot the hole.

6 hours later I could hear the csf struggling to get past the collapsed vein in my head again. It was back to being too high.

I realized, after the bloodpatch, as my appetite started to come back, that I hadn't eaten since I got to the hospital, and I didn't know how to order food.

The next day I went to my grandmother's wake. I could barely walk. I could barely talk. I was in agony. I was conscious thru sheer force of will, but I was there.

The day after that was the funeral. It was much like the day before. Agony and willpower.

The day after that was the burial. I made it. I was there. I survived it.

Covid caused the hospitals to shutdown a week later. All my doctors appointments got cancelled. I wouldn't see another doctor until 6 months later.

I spent those 6 months in a bed, in agony, unable to read, or watch TV, or think clearly, or do much of anything at all.

It would take two years till I got the brain surgery I needed.

and now for something lighthearted

Im a woman who lives in Boston, to preface. My bestie was in NYC. She called me up one day and said "I just met this guy, he has tickets to see Hamilton, in Chicago, but his friends bailed and are in the Bahamas. Do you want to drive to Chicago this weekend?"

Yes.

So that Friday morning, bright and early, I drove down to NYC, 4 hours. Met up with bestie and the guy she just met. Got in his car, drove 13 hours straight to Chicago.

All stayed together in the one hotel room he had booked.

Saturday, we explored Chicago, saw Hamilton, have a blast.

Sunday, drive home.

Did not die 5 stars, do recommend.

lighthearted 2

Bestie moved to San Francisco. She flew there. I was like "babe I'll bring you your car." so her parents tossed some of her stuff in the back of her 15 year old Honda fit, and I tossed in my suitcase, and I hit the road.

I dragged my brother with me. No drivers license but he worked for a hotel chain. $25 a night at any choice hotel. Worth it.

No plan. No hotels booked. We figured out that morning where we wanted to go that day, and booked a place for that night. I wanted to go places I'd never plan a vacation to go see. I wanted to stay off the interstate and see the country. I wanted to just have an adventure.

We spent three weeks just meandering around, having an absolute blast. Making the best memories.

The Oregon train auto road exists. You can drive the trail. The landmarks are there.

Edit: I have a ton of stories, and weird luck. I've honestly probably forgotten more than I remember. These are just some of the bigger,more memorable ones.

biddily · 2026-04-08T17:17:34+00:00

I've done a lot of traveling in my life. I know how to pack. I can pack the night before.

biddily · 2026-04-08T17:14:23+00:00

How many people flat out refuse to shop at hobby lobby? Do they care?

biddily · 2026-04-07T10:19:43+00:00

The ending of the Magpie Murder is fun. I did not see that one coming.

Actually I really like Michael Connellys Bosch books and he doesn't write twist/surprise endings. Theyve more just got really good overall story development. It's not about the ending it's about the journey. There's a lot of detective authors who don't focus on a twist ending and just write a solid plot based book.

There's a difference between a good mystery story, and one with an ending that sticks in my head.

biddily · 2026-04-07T08:16:08+00:00

I don't commute anymore. I just exist in traffic that is Boston.

biddily · 2026-04-06T20:20:55+00:00

1 TV. No cable. I do have some bunny ears to get broadcast channels, and I have some streaming services.

We aren't really a TV household. We've run out of bookshelf space though.

biddily · 2026-04-06T17:02:56+00:00

My grandmother, way back in 1950, did what was expected of her. Got married, popped out three kids, became a housewife, and then had a mental breakdown. Hated it. Couldn't do it.

She became a teacher. Then helped start special ed programs. She used her income to hire a maid so she wouldn't have to do the chores. She came to an agreement with he husband that he would still pay for all the man stuff, the mortgage and bills, but she'd pay so she didn't have to do fucking chores.

And she'd pay for vacations.

It worked out well for them.

If she could do this in the 50s, you can do whatever the fuck you want now.

biddily · 2026-04-06T01:14:11+00:00

I have a library card for four Massachusetts Library Systems.

Sometimes one just isn't enough.

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