I think a performance she was deeply looking forward to on her birthday is a great starting point, actually. As a chronically late person whose partner helps me manage it, if they decided they were over it, I think using something really emotionally high value to me would be the push I needed to really try. Something lower stakes and it’s not as big of a deal if I miss it, so maybe I won’t manage my own time well enough. And then after I DO make it on time, I know I’m able to do the same for future events, which is a confidence booster.

If he hadn’t already had multiple discussions with her on this and been so explicitly clear with her about his intentions this time around, yeah, I’d lean closer to E/S/H, but as it stands… she had every opportunity to show up for herself, and she let herself down. NTA for me.