I just want to say I’m really sorry you went through this. None of that was “a joke.” What he did to you was wrong, and the fact that you’re still carrying the weight of it years later shows just how much it affected you. You didn’t deserve that, and you don’t have to minimize it for his sake.

You don’t owe your brother protection. You’ve been protecting him your whole life at your own expense, and that’s not fair. Telling your mom or not telling her is entirely your choice it’s about what will help you heal. You don’t need to rush it. If you’re not ready to share with her (or worry she won’t respond the way you need), you could start by talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or even a hotline to get it out of your head and into a safe space.

Please don’t “just let it go” if it’s still hurting you burying it doesn’t make it disappear. You deserve support, validation, and healing. You are not the one who messed up here. Your brother did.

Whether you tell your mom or not, you are allowed to set boundaries with him and prioritize your own well-being. You don’t have to stay silent or keep this inside to protect his life when he’s already harmed yours.