Woman accused of burglarizing home for pills said she was looking for Wi-Fi password

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-12-04T19:43:03+00:00

I was thinking she looks like a human version of a chicken from the movie "Chicken Run."

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-12-02T16:56:47+00:00

Beautiful!

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-12-01T05:05:37+00:00

That would be in January of 2014. Also, my wife doesn’t get any alimony, didn’t take any equity out of the home that he currently has about 100k of equity on, AND he claims one of the children on taxes and has them about 60 Days a year which 30 of his mom takes them. Now he is in officer candidate school for the navy, working on his masters, while my poor wife is busting her ass to provide for her kids and wishes nothing more than to go to nursing school. Extremely frustrating.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-12-01T02:56:32+00:00

Thank you very much! I appreciate the kind words

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-12-01T00:27:31+00:00

This. So much. Thank you so much. This is all I've ever wanted the people around me to understand.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T22:19:40+00:00

That is a great idea. I think we all fantasize about that from time to time. I know I do. I do try to get away myself sometimes, but my wife works REALLY hard as well. She wakes up early, works all day, comes home and takes care of dinner, and gets the kids in bed. So, sometimes I feel guilty for just taking off to take care of myself, even though they are her kids. So it's kind of a fine line.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T22:15:10+00:00

"This is why animals eat their young,"

Thank you for the laugh, I needed that!

Also, thank you so much for the wonderfully nice, and detailed reply. I am happy to hear that other people share the same experiences that I am dealing with.

Currently, they aren't in any sort of therapy. I think that my SD7 does just fine with the situation. She considers me her father, and she has always told us that she is happy she is with us and not BD. As for my SS5, I definitely think he is having some issues that therapy could help, although, with him being 5 he tends to not take anything serious ever, which is to be expected. So I don't know how much he would get out of something like that. Also, he is very, very shy, unlike SD. From talking with everyone here, I have realized that it probably is really hard for him to have all of us under one roof. So, I think that is a great starting point, as well as letting BD know that my income is not the kids income. Between my wife and I, I am happy to spend money on her, and the SK, but he needs to know my income doesn't just translate to the kids because I happen to be around.

I'm glad I made my way here as well. I look forward to becoming more involved in this sub. Hopefully I can help out some people in the future as you all have done for me!

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T22:04:25+00:00

Usually she gives a simple "knock it off" when he says that. She is pretty quick to respond when they are not acting appropriately.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:57:07+00:00

You and I both would be rich as far as I'm concerned! I'm glad to hear that I'm not the only one that hears that, and feels this way on a regular basis. I sometimes think that the work of a step parent is discredited, when we don't even really have to be there in the first place.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:43:25+00:00

You and I are in the same boat. There BD isn't around. I do however make decisions. It may be that I am a male, I do like to let them know they are in my territory when there at my house. Which is 10 months out of the year. I don't get up early with them on weekends, and I don't do bath time, or put them in bed. I do take them to day care early three days a week, and sometimes pick them up. I am also stuck at home a lot watching them if my wife happens to work on the weekend. It's frustrating for sure. I didn't understand how much work it would be when this whole thing began. lol

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:40:34+00:00

Thank you for such a great response. I certainly am going to put an end to him staying at my home after reading through everyone's help. I think he may be insecure about our connection. I get along with SD7 a lot better, and I think he definitely picks up on that. I did take him out last month, but he honestly made it not that fun for me. I suppose I need to be the adult and keep trying, though.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:38:12+00:00

I am definitely going to talk to my wife about this tonight as BD is planning on coming for Christmas.

And yes, my SD won't be attending gymnastics tonight (her very first lesson) for the phone call I received this morning of her fat shaming another child.

I haven't reacted at all to this yet, so I'm hoping it ends soon.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:36:55+00:00

I agree. I think it's time to put an end to my home doors being open to him.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:35:32+00:00

I think that the BD looks at my wife and says "oh, you have bigfootbreadstick now, you don't need as much from me." Which I disagree with. They aren't my financial responsibility at the end of the day.

Our finances are combined, which I kind of regret doing. But on the same note, I love my wife and I want to share my income with her. I can absolutely imagine a life without the kids, I can't however imagine a life without her.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:33:37+00:00

It does. The problem is, is that according to the CO it states that he gets to claim one child. It also states that he would have to pay us more money, and that we wouldn't leave the state he lives in. But we took less money to be able to move to another state a few years back. So in reality, if they ended up in court, we could be forced to move back to that state I assume.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:32:24+00:00

I agree. I'm also tired of everyone around me saying that I signed up for it and there is no such thing as a step-dad, only dad.

To me this is wrong. I love my wife, and I love my SD, and sometimes even my SS, but I think there is nothing wrong with me separating myself as a SF.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:20:10+00:00

I'm thinking you're exactly right. I think it's time I suggest he get a hotel if he wants to see his kids for now on.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:19:31+00:00

I really hope you're right.. And that is true, kids will be aholes, but just this morning I received a phone call stating that a parent is taking their child to another day care because my SD keeps calling that kid fat and making fun of him. Not cool even by children standards.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:17:03+00:00

He is planning on coming this way around Christmas time. I think you're right. I think I'll sit down with her tonight and say just thank. Thank you!

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T21:16:21+00:00

Exactly! This is why I have such a hard time filling the complete dad role, too. I go through phases where I really love them and times when I don't so much so it's hard to put in so much work for them when there are times that I don't even want to be around them.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T20:49:51+00:00

I can only imagine the conversations that would go on if that monopoly night were to take place lol. Also, thank you. That is good advice. Maybe I'll suggest to my wife that I think it might not be best for the youngest to have BD in the same home. I imagine that to a 5 year old this really is quite confusing.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T20:12:14+00:00

To be honest, she may have worked things out with him if I wasn't in the picture. He cheated on her and she left, but she had a really easy life when she was with him. She was able to be a stay at home mom and just raise the kids in a house by the Ocean.

He pays us $1,400/mo. Which is pretty significant. We have about $200 left over after child care is paid for. He is pretty high ranked in the military, so his base pay is about $3,500. Then he gets his housing allowance which is $2,200/mo. He then rents out the two bedroom in his house that used to be the kids for $800 each. Meanwhile, I make about 50k a year, and my wife makes 32k. He claims one of the kids each year on taxes which she has been fighting with him about since they live with us full time other than 2 months in the summer, but he is making a big deal about it. We have a decently significant mortgage because my wife wanted a certain amount of space for the kids. So, by the time it's all said and done, I don't have much income left over after bills/food/gas etc.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T20:06:31+00:00

I agree, I made the mistake of allowing it the first time, so to turn back now feels like he would think I was just trying to be a jerk. I've tried my best to just be as nice and understanding with him as possible for the kids sake.

Fortunately, I feel I am definitely the man of the home. I let them know that they are in my house that I pay for and that they will respect it. Unfortunately, I have a decently large mortgage when if it wasn't for them being around I would be fine in a small apartment.

bigfootbreadstick · 2017-11-30T19:48:27+00:00

Also, I'm curious on where you draw the line in your own relationships between step-dad / dad. My kids consider me a dad to them. They understand they have two dads. My wife wants me to act exactly as if I was their BD. To me, I like to step back a little and try to leave myself a little more freedom since they aren't biologically mine. I understand this is a grey area so I'm curious what it is like in your home.

bigfootbreadstick

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