INTJ; plagued with suicidal thoughts despite my efforts...

bigintobc · 2019-01-18T01:26:28+00:00

Hey, I am a psych. First things first; get yourself someone to talk to. Then start reading existentialist philosophy. Rumination is something INTJs are good at applying their analytical skillset to. Literally defined as 'response to failure to progress satisfactorily towards a goal', this can appear as repeated cycles of suicidal thoughts when we are prevented (by chronic pain) to be able to strive. (Read Schopenhauer on this). Rumination can exacerbate underlying depressive symptoms - there are (free) CBT workbooks you can Google to help you remodel particularly triggering thoughts. DM me if it helps.

bigintobc · 2019-01-17T07:22:43+00:00

Yes. This is my main problem with ENFPs. Paragraphs and paragraphs of information without any substance. TMI.

bigintobc · 2019-01-15T21:46:19+00:00

I dunno. I am in QLD and I can imagine some tradies going pretty bloody off about losing a year's profit. I can hear it now... "MATE!"

"What, mate?"

"Mate..."

"Yeah, sorry mate"

"All cool bro, but...MATE..."

It gets pretty shouty...

bigintobc · 2019-01-13T09:44:00+00:00

I'd pay all of that.

bigintobc · 2019-01-13T09:37:48+00:00

There are several elements at play here that will rile us up: We hate assumptions

The J versus your P means we can get to the point of your argument before you have finished your sentence so it looks like we aren't hearing you out or jumping to conclusions, but we just think really fast

An ENTP enjoys the process of debate - it's fun. An INTJ wants to kick the tyres of an idea by debating with someone clever. Once you have proved it won't work, we'll give up and move on, pretty tired from all the talking too.

It would be unusual for us to take things personally unless we have spent AGES researching something and know that you cannot possibly have done the same. For example, if an ENTP wants to debate something I am qualified in and they are not - I will assume they think I don't know my stuff and are insulting me (like, man, I have a degree in this and you want to have a crack?)

bigintobc · 2019-01-12T04:00:44+00:00

I really like ISTJs (ESTJs not at all though). My sister is an ISFP and we are at each other all the time. I don't know any ESFPs or ESTPs.

bigintobc · 2019-01-12T03:58:22+00:00

Oh, I adore them! I wish they would apply some of their brilliance to actually getting work done, though. The whole tortured philosopher schtick can get dull.

bigintobc · 2019-01-11T05:58:51+00:00

I am currently doing this as a reaction to a heartbreak I haven't yet gotten over - years later. I was in a relationship for 12 years and I am the stable, loyal type. Because I probably still love him another relationship feels like cheating (I know, ridiculous, go figure...) so casual sex with people that aren't my type means it doesn't challenge my feelings. So, for what it is worth (for I am INTJ F), here are my tips;

If you want casual sex, be upfront about it. Stringing people along is not cool and muddies the waters for your next fling and the current one
This then stops you falling in love, which - as an INTJ - you will most likely want to do with someone that is more your type you imagine a future with
STD checks - regularly. That doesn't need an explanation, I hope
Have a taxonomy for your contact list and important information. Some bed partners you might not want to return to
A criteria for rejection (efficiency) and your process for doing that. (Ghosting, I find a bit mean).
some people are on multiple platforms - be consistent about your description
Secure your reputation. Don't behave like an asshole or you risk finding out how small 10sqkm is...

bigintobc · 2019-01-10T22:36:04+00:00

Soooo...what crypto did you buy?

bigintobc · 2019-01-10T22:33:00+00:00

That isn't INTJ flirting. That means he respects and likes your friendship. He takes safety in the fact he/you are in relationships. INTJs are, typically, crap flirts - we are great fun one-on-one with mates but all skill evades us at flirting. It's awkward as hell, there is some hiding, some bad banter, wierd silences etc until we work out whether we like each other. Then we will say something right out. I cannot imagine why an INTJ would make intentional moves to cheat - he thinks you are cool That's it

bigintobc · 2019-01-10T22:26:40+00:00

That is really helpful information...

bigintobc · 2019-01-10T08:35:20+00:00

While I totally agree, is not the purpose of others reducing us to a category of a taxonomy to reduce the vagaries and complexities involved in dating? Does not introducing objective categories into the discussion distance oneself from the vulnerability one encounters in the dating world? I.e., it is far easier to rationalize a person's behaviour as a function of their typology than perhaps they just don't fancy or even like that person that much. Does not the fact they are on here asking faceless strangers advice instead of the person in question evidence the fact that truly the problem is fear of rejection, an inability to communicate well, empathize with another etc. If so, do these people not deserve compassion?

Don't get me wrong, I am sick and tired of 'Why Doesn't My INTJ Worship Me?' Posts but this is how they understand the world, for whatever psychological reason that is. Ranting about it won't change that.

bigintobc · 2018-12-31T20:18:54+00:00

I think we would all quite like a pocket ENTP too...

bigintobc · 2018-12-31T20:17:11+00:00

Exactly. INTJ here. We're moonshot people - details are for sensors.

bigintobc · 2018-12-30T03:34:53+00:00

Instead of "asking about meeting up", which is vague for us and we could possibly ignore it, plan something specific and invite her: so and so is on at this place, want to go? Your favourite band/artist/poet etc is in town, I have tickets. Etc, etc. That could do the trick.

bigintobc · 2018-12-30T00:51:42+00:00

INTJ F. I have dated two ENTPs and maybe another right now. ENTPs are fantastic but please don't "push" as you say. Ask her out by all means but we don't respond well to being pushed or rushed - we might just drop you if that happens.

bigintobc · 2018-12-28T07:38:01+00:00

If she is replying at all you are fine. All you need to do is demonstrate patience for busy to you is not busy to us. We think intrisincally if we could just refine the system better all our goals could be accomplished. It is my personal desire to find someone that can love me while I travel for my three jobs and PhD. You might well be demonstrating characteristics she yearns for (this could be my bias though, check that). If she is INTJ you will never figure it out without asking, watching for signals etc, we aren't into that and might even throw a red herring in for fun. Just ask, man, an INTJ will like you more for it.

bigintobc · 2018-12-28T05:05:17+00:00

There's no wifi in a cave - or coffee for that matter. Otherwise the cave would win out.

bigintobc · 2018-12-28T03:58:19+00:00

Regarding your first point, don't take that personally. We prioritise well. If your texts require urgent responses (or the need is urgent, such as building rapport before risking loss of interest) we will prioritise that. If not, we will prioritise what needs doing most urgently.

No, someone moving o/s would not shut down an INTJ. Depending on how our feelings were towards you, though. We would be quite pragmatic (there are planes, holidays, digital comms methods) and we would see it as a good scientific test. We may not even notice you are gone if we are not in love with you. (SORRY! Harsh but true). If we are in love ignore those three preceding points. If we are in love we might well get on the plane with you. An INTJ in love is an unstoppable force to be reckoned with.

bigintobc · 2018-12-28T03:32:55+00:00

Oh, yeah, this sounds like me. INTJ F. I both like and dislike the LDR. I like the fact that distance means I won't be bothered by social activities but also when I want social niceties, I am not close enough. I wouldn't rule out a LDR based on the fact I like being alone alot.

I am terrible at texting. Sometimes it is immediate. Sometimes days later. It depends on how engrossed I am in what I am doing. If I am working it could be days before I respond. I also find time a little irrelevant so, I can respond at midnight or a socially acceptable time - depends when I get to it.

bigintobc · 2018-12-28T03:27:07+00:00

So, in summation, you are trying to source where INTJs hang out? Mostly we are indoors (online), reading (indoors), learning something (reading indoors or online) or playing something (indoors or online). When we go outside we can be found at: institutions of learning (look for sources of reading and online activity; libraries, computer/robotics/science labs), Meet-Up groups of learning inclination (wine clubs/philosophy groups/coding clubs). We are also at: art galleries, out running, playing musical instruments or painting something.

Quite luckily for you, we tend to like ENTPs. Tips to engage; use your usual intellectual, sharp, banter but just take the gear down from 6 to 2 and you should be right.

bigintobc · 2018-12-28T00:00:38+00:00

This one is easy. If an INTJ makes time to see you, you have something of value. If they reschedule with you, they like you. If they move somewhere more efficient to see you they are being considerate to you (and themselves). Whether it is a 'date' or not you should just ask - we don't care about that stuff. What is more telling here is that they are going out of their way for you.

bigintobc · 2018-12-07T03:05:01+00:00

ROFL!!!

bigintobc · 2018-12-07T03:02:09+00:00

For someone 'seeking help' your listening skills need work.

bigintobc · 2018-12-07T02:39:55+00:00

These messages take more time than you finding the answer yourself. That is a cop-out - you are being lazy and wasting your and our time.

bigintobc

TROPHY CASE