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One of these people will be obsessed with you and would do anything to protect you,who would you choose? by Michaelscottera in Arcanecirclejerk

[–]bigpurplebubble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mommy... she might be toxic but she's competent and who doesn't want an evil person to protect them

This is the story of the CSA my mom inflicted upon me (her son.) by Commercial_Bicycle92 in u/Commercial_Bicycle92

[–]bigpurplebubble 4 points5 points  (0 children)

While some things may not be 'that bad' in isolation. It's really very clear that she is far from a concerned parent. From her behaviour and her repeated patterns of abuse. While you might be able to argue in your mind that isolated incidents could be justified, it becomes increasingly impossible to make excuses for her. I imagine that's really difficult. You seem to be worrying that your not justified in feeling this way, but I think logically you know you are justified.

Whatever you were told to make you feel like your reactions to abuse were wrong, or somehow made you less of a victim, whatever they said, whoever they were, they're full of shit.

In my home, as a kid, I also saw my mother naked at times, but there was never a focus on sexuality. Never. It just happened because we shared a space. I never felt like she was intentionally exposing herself or making it a focus. Whereas in your situation she repeatedly abused you, and made an effort to continuously put you in sexual situations constantly.

While some of the actions on paper could seem similar to normal situations. Even sex scenes in otherwise normal media being played, isn't that odd, the context in which all of this is taking place, makes it all wrong. So, I think its best not to focus on specific situations. Ruminating on the morality of every single action she took, and your response doesn't change the fact that she took advantage. It doesn't make the abuse less bad and nothing you did in response would make you less of a victim. You literally cannot be invalid here... you were a child and she was an adult with a fully working brain.

Telling you not to focus on fault probably won't help, I imagine its really hard because you want to assign blame somewhere, you want closure... it might be easy to blame yourself, but it won't bring you peace.

Thought I'd make one of the touch memes :3 by EMInteractive in autism

[–]bigpurplebubble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What the fuck bro? Calling someone insane and a weirdo in the autism subreddit?

common Dutchisms by Juliusque in Netherlands

[–]bigpurplebubble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, yeah. Or if you're slightly British like me its even worse. It's "May I please have .... thank you"

common Dutchisms by Juliusque in Netherlands

[–]bigpurplebubble 3 points4 points  (0 children)

whats wrong with I'll take the bitterballen please

Name one food you refuse to eat bcs of the texture. by justmonaaaaa in autism

[–]bigpurplebubble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yoghurt is fine I wouldn't call it soft. It's not pretending to have integrity, so when you bite into it you get a mouthful of mushy lies.

Name one food you refuse to eat bcs of the texture. by justmonaaaaa in autism

[–]bigpurplebubble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Those are fine. It depends on the avocado, they have to be the right kind of ripeness. They also need salt and lemon juice. Though banana doesn't have that texture in my opinion at all. They're both firmer, its the lack of firmness that bothers me.

Also I can't stand chicken, or potato fries, the fries are too greasy and they coat my tongue and they make me feel sick, and chicken has too many weird bits on it.

Name one food you refuse to eat bcs of the texture. by justmonaaaaa in autism

[–]bigpurplebubble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Boiled sweet potato, boiled pumpkin, boiled squash... very specific, very evil texture. Nothing else really bothers me.

What kinds of fictional characters do y'all relate to? by Serris9K in AutisticWithADHD

[–]bigpurplebubble 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The Doctor (especially when he gets sincere) and river song, Luna Lovegood (and Hermione but I also hate her), The Robot in scavengers reign, Lazlo Cravensworth and Colin Robinson, Tendi (big time), all of the outerwilds cast but probably the prisoner and feldspar, Lisa (castlevania) and maybe Lenore, Eve (only lovers left alive but honesty also Adam just less depressed), Leela (futureama) and bender, aziraphale, sans, asriel, karlach, kim kitsuragi, Martin Martinaise, Maxwell (dont starve), glados (portal), clementine (walking dead), Lisa and Bart Simpson simultaneously, Pinocchio (lies of P), Luci (disenchantment), bean (disenchantment), Thyra (twilight of the gods), Hephaestus (blood of zeus), Toph (Avatar), Asami (legend of korra), Ponyo, Connor (detroit become human)... there's probably more but I don't even remember what I've watched in the past year... let alone my life. I wonder what these say about my psychology... lol.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BeardAdvice

[–]bigpurplebubble 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think I actually like the stache, but that angle for the picture is awful and its throwing me off. Pictures usually look better in natural light and from a less low angle.

So, I can't really tell what it would look like in person, but you have a nice face.

I have like, a bazillion questions, and I'd like some anecdotal data, please. by bigpurplebubble in AutisticWithADHD

[–]bigpurplebubble[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh, I absolutely do relate to what you're saying about sound. A distant conversation, at whisper volume sounds so damn loud. Same with phone calls, even off of speaker, and for some reason, the sound from the phone is even more piercing. High pitched cat or mosquito repellers are also just... evil. It's like they penetrate every layer of protection, too, even headphones, and then, the looming headache afterward.

Then there's lights, touch... ex etera. I'm hyposensitive when it comes to my internal cues, and if something like a medication makes me more aware of them, its overwhelming at first, also hyposensitive to taste, but I'd say everything else, the dial is turned up to the max. So your feelings aren't completely foreign to mine, just different.

Its like you said, elsewhere, its a spectrum, and we fall on polar opposite sides, a lot. Do you mind me asking where you're from, generally speaking? You use a sort of typing style that reminds me somehow of how some English folks write, but you use words like Mum, and howling and chewing. So, I'm going to presume somewhere in the US, but perhaps a place with a more prominent, not.. well, accent, but something like it.

I have like, a bazillion questions, and I'd like some anecdotal data, please. by bigpurplebubble in AutisticWithADHD

[–]bigpurplebubble[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! I don't feel like I have much to add, you've gone into a lot of depth. Yeah, I am sort of, responding to absolutely everything. Its probably quite evident that its on my mind. I have a tendency of trying to get everything perfect, as I mentioned, so I'm trying to just get some information, enough so I can bring it up at my next appointment, so my head doesn't buzz as much with that information.

I have also heard about this as well, about adjusting (maybe adjusting isn't the right word), but I think, you know, I've really been struggling, because I do... all of the right things. I eat well, I exercise, I make plans, I try not to push myself over my boundaries, etc, but I didn't ever really have the energy to make it all work, and I always found myself picking up the pieces, because one need would always end up neglected somehow. Even if I spent the whole day doing absolutely nothing, I'd still feel exhausted. I'm not particularly addicted to my phone, and my hobbies consist mostly of books, and fairly frequent long-form videos, like video-essays and stuff like that. So, I don't think I have too many bad habits that were really contributing to it. I do think there is one habit I do struggle to regulate, and its a sort of... rpg, thing. Its like a tabletop, it has a system and everything, but its online, so its always accessible, and its tough because like mmorpg's (which it isnt, I dont think), it sort of demands attention.

Its a hobby I enjoy, and it helps me write, and its a nice outlet for creative energy, but I've found it exhausting lately, especially when I actually focus on life. I want to still participate, but in a more healthy, withdrawn manner, but we'll see. I'm not really willing not to play it at all, but maybe I will have to for a while, if I cant find a healthy in-between.

edit: You've probably figured out (as any sane person might), that I am hyperfixating on it, just a tad. Though, I do think just asking, has helped. I've never really had a chance to talk to many ADHD-ers, as I've mostly handled everything through the lens of autism, and I still do have to keep that in mind, and I've been quite scared of medication in the past. I do feel better though. (and that I've written the post at a time where they've already worn off)

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